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Message |
Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Lacking Empathy Isn't Terrible |
| starkid |
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Posted: 03 Aug 2021, 2:53 am
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Replies: 55
Views: 3,054
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cyberdad wrote: I know this is true, my post was more directed to selling the idea that empathy is useful to have to the OP
You don't have to sell it to me; it's obvious that it's useful. But the usefulness has nothing to do with the point of this thread: even though empathy is useful, lacking it is not terrible. |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: What's the accepted way of expressing frustration? |
| starkid |
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Posted: 03 Aug 2021, 1:50 am
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Replies: 2
Views: 968
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| I suggest that you not bother to express frustration except with people you're on intimate terms with or people who've ghosted you multiple times. I say this because, if it's someone you don't know very well, the person could be occupied with something more important (without bothering to tell you, ... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Lacking Empathy Isn't Terrible |
| starkid |
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Posted: 03 Aug 2021, 1:20 am
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Replies: 55
Views: 3,054
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| So not wanting to state the obvious but empathy is a form of emotional intelligence or EQ. What you say is not "obvious." EQ is a pop psychology theory, not a fact. To succeed in society and be successful you need IQ but EQ is actually more important. It's actually debatable that IQ and E... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Lacking Empathy Isn't Terrible |
| starkid |
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Posted: 02 Aug 2021, 3:37 am
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Replies: 55
Views: 3,054
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Something Profound wrote: I contest that if there isn't a clear identification of it, it shouldn't be used as a diagnosis criteria.
It isn't used that way as far as I know, not in any formal diagnostic criteria. Maybe a few quacks use it to dismiss people. |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Adult Diagnosis Increased/Increasing Symptoms Question... |
| starkid |
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Posted: 02 Aug 2021, 2:30 am
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Replies: 12
Views: 773
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People are strongly motivated to start seriously considering what may be wrong with them when their functioning begins to decline.
So diagnosis likely roughly coincides with an increase in autistic behavior because a breakdown in functioning prompted the autism evaluation and caused the behavior. |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: Preparing to meet... |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 11:51 pm
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Replies: 11
Views: 1,431
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| You don't need to think up excuses to reject people's offers. You can just say that you aren't interested. It seems like you've been stressing yourself out by trying to reject/avoid people in some unnecessarily complicated way. |
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Forum: Health, Fitness, and Sports Topic: i had endoscopy and cant stop burping |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 11:47 pm
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Replies: 7
Views: 1,085
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| I didn't have that problem after my endoscopy. I don't remember burping at all, and I don't remember the doctor warning me that I might burp. |
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Forum: Work and finding a Job Topic: Does this Service for Aspies exist? |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 11:45 pm
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Replies: 7
Views: 1,444
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| I used to freelance, and I had a similar problem. I don't know of any aspie-specific resources. This is not really an aspie-specific problem; it is common. Some freelancers deal with this problem by working with other freelancers as a team, and some hire people short-term to do their SEO, client man... |
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Forum: School and College Life Topic: Asking for advice: Creating and using study material |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 11:35 pm
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Replies: 6
Views: 1,951
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| Figuring out how to take notes requires several pieces of information: you need to know what kinds of information you need to remember for the class, how the information will be presented, what kinds of information you will have to reproduce on exams, and what your own learning style is. Biology cou... |
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Forum: Social Skills and Making Friends Topic: What's this type of social interaction called? |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 11:18 pm
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Replies: 12
Views: 1,934
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I don't think that behavior has a special name.
It seems like he was just passionate about his opinion that you should be rewarded. People who feel passion get loud and boisterous sometimes, especially when they want to convince other people (he wanted to convince you that you should be paid). |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Lacking Empathy Isn't Terrible |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 9:48 pm
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Replies: 55
Views: 3,054
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| For me empathy is conditional. For example, I saw a video of a man setting a flag on fire the other day and it quickly spread out of control and he ended up on fire before running out of shot. I laughed out loud. If it had been an innocent passer by who caught fire, I'd feel terrible for them and h... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Lacking Empathy Isn't Terrible |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 9:47 pm
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Replies: 55
Views: 3,054
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| Well it's not easy to have a discussion about the topic because it seems people have different definitions of "empathy." This is what dictionary.com says: the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. the imaginative asc... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: getting "you are the only one to ask me that" type responses |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 8:18 pm
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Replies: 11
Views: 1,307
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| I've gotten this on email, not just face-to-face where nonverbal is involved - which leads me to believe that it's not just my Aspie handicap of lack of nonverbal fluency that is seamless coupled with Theory of Mind, given a situational context. (Sigh, the bane of our existence!!) :( You're probabl... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Are you able to recognize microagressions? |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 8:00 pm
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Replies: 8
Views: 656
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| Or I'd be just incidentally walking in the direction of a group of students who knew me at college/uni and one of them (usually female) would cast an anxious glance towards me, and they'd all quickly look at each other and at me, then walk away That seems like a manifestation of fear or discomfort,... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Are you able to recognize microagressions? |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 1:26 am
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Replies: 8
Views: 656
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| Yes I can. Not all the things you've listed seem aggressive. "Aggression" is the key part of microaggressions: microaggressions are basically just passive-aggressive behavior. For example: Or I'd be just incidentally walking in the direction of a group of students who knew me at college/un... |
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Forum: General Autism Discussion Topic: Explanation tips |
| starkid |
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Posted: 01 Aug 2021, 1:10 am
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Replies: 36
Views: 2,085
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| The problem with normies is that they don't interpret questions literally. They tend to make assumptions about why people ask questions, and then they address this assumed reason instead of addressing the actual question. So one way to prevent this is to imagine all the assumptions they might make a... |
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