Science jokes

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a physicist a biochemist and a mathematician were outside having lunch casually observing people
at one point 2 people went into the building across the street and a short while later 3 people came out
"our original calculations were wrong" said the physicist
"they're multiply!" said the biochemist
finally the mathematician concluded
"now, if exactly one more person goes back into the building. It will be empty again"





biologist think they are biochemist
biochemist think they are physical chemist
physical chemist think they are physicist
physicist think they are god
god thinks it is a mathematician

Argon walks into a bar and sees Gold sitting at the table and says, "AU, get outta my bar."

A rancher hired an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to design a pen to enclose the greatest amount of area with the least amount of fencing.

The engineer designed a circular pen.

The physicist designed a pen with a number of sides that approached infinity.

The mathematician put a small piece of fence around himself, and defined himself to be on the outside.

Q: How come no one likes Antimony?
A: It's such an Sb.

I went down to a petroleum distillation plant once. They had alkynes of petroleum.

A group of people, including Mrs. Einstein, were invited to the grand opening of an astronomical observatory: As the group is lead into the big dome hall with the huge telescope, the guy showing them around proudly exclaims with a profound voice: "With this instrument, it is our intent to uncover the deepest secrets of the Universe!" -- whereto Mrs. Einstein replies "Funny you should mention that; that's exactly what my husband does on tha back side of used envelopes..."

Ok, this made my day.
I only wish I had some to contribute.