If you were an evil mad scientist...

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...what would your projects be? Assuming that you're a genius at your particular field of interest, and have unlimited funding.
Me:
1)engineer an organism with no transposons or ERVs and see if that changes their phenotype or health.
2)if it works, try the above with a human.
3)screen an entire human genotype for deleterious mutations and create a zygote that's homozygous wild-type for their entire genome, as well as free of ERVs and transposons.
4)If that goes well, see if I can insert chimpanzee muscle proteins to make a human as strong as a chimp without side effects.
5)Invent a vaccine against sperm and introduce it into the water supply at Liberty University and other fundagelical training grounds.
6)engineer a dog that lives longer than 12-15 years (and stays healthy).
7)engineer a cat that doesn't have allergy-causing saliva.

...?

Figuring out how to effectively trigger or instill appropriate levels of emotional empathy in people deficient in such empathy.

I would turn everyone in the world gay.

EVERYONE

i would find a way to give all sociopaths AIDS. (though rat poison would be faster).

1. A virus that would render all people with I.Q.s of less than 110 unable to produce children.

2. Another virus that would render all people equally attractive in the physical sense (low-variant phenotype).

3. A new form of "The Pill" that produces no side-effects, and that is equally effective for both women and men.

4. A form of mind transference that allows me to choose a new body every 20 years or so.

5. Add these to the list of "The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord".

Last edited by Fnord on 10 Dec 2012, 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

If I were an EVIL mad scientist (are there any other kinds of mad scientists?) I'd probably do the typical raving lunatic stuff, like cackle wickedly and let my hair grow out until it looked like I was struck by lightening, but I think I'd also:

-Create a death ray and threaten to obliterate the world with it unless everyone smartens up and does what I please.

-Invent a disease that causes any man's genitals to shrivel up and drop off if he attempts to sexually assault a woman.

-Breed a cat and a dog to create an animal with the cleanliness of a dog and the loyalty of a cat. Wait, I got that mixed up. Oh, who cares anyway, I'm MAD MUHAHAHAAAA!! ! *thunderclap*

-Speaking of which, I would invent a weather machine that would make thunder and lightening appear over my laboratory (I'd pronounce it la-bora-tory, of course) no matter what the weather was like everywhere else, and it would always thunder when I cackled wickedly or shouted "It's aliiiiive!"

-Get really ticked off if someone called me mad and say "I am NOT mad, I am ANGRY!! !"

- Illegally change my name to something Japanese-sounding, like Neko Hiyamoto.

-Wear a cute "geek cheek" lab coat, horn-rimmed spectacles (I would never call them glasses, of course), and a short dress. Of course, that would only be after I made and drank a potion that gave me the body of a Greek Goddess.

What do you mean IF?

Oh, wait, I totally missed the "evil" word.

1) Hold the world hostage by threatening important holy sites with nuclear annihilation.
2) Infect other planets with earth life via rockets.
3) Step down before I'm overthrown.

All of my ultimatums would be carried out, one way or the other, and with no negotiations, compromises, or special conditions.

Thus...

ME: "Tell me what I want to know, or I will shoot you."

HE: "Never!"

<*BLAM!*>

ME: "Minion, clean up that mess."

Fnord how is that related to being a "mad evil scientist?" You do not need to be good at science to shoot someone. People do it all the time.

... sheesh ...

Mad Evil Scientist: "Tell me what I want to know to complete my death ray, or I will shoot you."

Hero: "Never!"

<*BLAM!*>

Mad Evil Scientist: "Minion, clean up that mess."

Better?

The alternative would be to throw the hero into the dungeon, where my beautiful daughter would find him, fall in love with him, help him escape, and then distract me while he sneaks up behind me, konks me over the head with a flower pot, and thwarts my diabolical plans for world domination!

Create a invisible cloak and abuse every body that had abused me!

This topic makes me think of Doctor Mabuse who was a formidable Mastermind style villain with mental manipulation powers.

I'd be the modern equivalent of that using a mastery of communication technology to manipulate and dupe people into losing their fortunes and crashing the stock market just like Dr. Mabuse. Also, I would use the internet and social engineering to create and use dozens of different identities.

Then I would leads a trail of breadcrumbs for them to follow thinking they can regain their lost fortunes, but in fact this would be further manipulation to make them do my bidding. They would be used as minions without even knowing they're working for me.

Naww..

Just all men -except ME!

Eliminate the competition!

If I were truly an eeeeeevil mad scientist (BOO!) I'd head-up Vault-Tek.