This is my favourite quote:
"See my long and luscious beard m'lady, does it charm and excite you? *tips fedora*" -- Charles Darwin
I am also fond of his statement regarding religion:
"I cannot persuade myself that a beneficent and omnipotent God would have designedly created parasitic wasps with the express intention of their feeding within the living bodies of Caterpillars."
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Secretly he hammers the earth.