Wanted: Polygraph Spy Necklace (Picks up tones of others)

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Even if a girl may be a covenant-abiding Christian, she'll trash something even as sacred as that in order to lie to me if she doesn't like me for any reason. I don't want to be led to believe that ALL Christian girls tell the truth all the time, but I don't want to not trust any girl who happens to tell the truth, even if it's about something I don't like to hear.

Is there a spy shop online that sells a portable polygraph I can wear around my neck that will listen to anyone I talk to while I have it turned on?

When I get to analyze it later, the polygraph necklace I'm looking for will (ideally) give a time-stamp, a recording of the subject's voice, and an analysis of what the chances were that this was a fib.

WHERE CAN I FIND THIS GADGET?

(Please only give the link to that specific item, not just merely any spy store that you can find by typing "spy store" on Google.) I would try to find it myself, but maybe "polygraph necklace" is called something else because it's not finding it for me. But I'm sure it exists. Somewhere. I don't know where, but someone or something told me that "If I think of an invention, a million other people conceived it already." That's why I know it exists, but not under the name I'm thinking of.

I want to cast my doubts aside from now on, and such a necklace will.

Once again, where can I find this gadget?

Doesn't a polygraph text include much more than just speech/breathing patterns, such as fluctuations in heart rate and body temperature? Hence the name "poly" (many) "graph". That would be a lot more than what could be gathered by a necklace.

I think what you want is a digital voice recorder and computer voice stress analysis (CVSA) software.

It's not as accurate as a full polygraph machine and usually only designed for yes/no responses to direct questions but I think that's about the best your going to get.

Disclaimer: I can't personally attest to the veracity of this technology or even state with any certainty that it's anything more than snake oil (though it's my understanding that the California Highway Patrol uses it in their academy enrollment pre-screening tests and failing it makes you ineligible for CHP training) so my recommendation is to use it for entertainment purposes only.

Also be aware that recording a persons voice without their consent is illegal in many states and countries. Consult you're local laws before you begin.

What Fraya said is true, it is highly illegal in most Western countries to record people's voices without their knowledge and consent. Instead of investing in this gadget, I suggest you check out the CVSA software. As an Aspie you have the inherent ability to hyperfocus on a topic. Mess with this software, learn how to recognize vocal stresses without it, and you're well on your way to achieving results without any mechanical assistance. Maybe not 100% accurate but you'll have a better understanding of people. Also, hard for Aspies I know, eye contact makes a big difference as do facial movements and gestures.

I have, and found it to be as obviously pseudo-scientific as a toy Tricorder.
Specifically, CVSA only displays factory-preprogrammed graphs and data.
In other words, it will display random data if you answer each question
by playing the same ringtone on your phone each time.
And... that random data is about as random as a pair of dice, not much more or less.

A warning: People with Autism and Aspergers should never try to operate any kind of lie detector nor willingly submit to one to prove they are not lieing, as we will get completely unexpected and invalid results. Polygraphy is entirely based on NonVerbal Cues, and does not actually directly detect lies. The best it can do is give some measurements that correlate with NonVerbal Cues, and even that correlation does not translate to TRUE or FALSE.

I want to state the fact that when I saw a CVSA unit being used,
I noticed that it had a very limited number of graphs,
and I noticed the exact same ones coming up very often,
And that it looked to me as if they were all made by scribbling wavy lines on
a drawing tablet and saving them as BMP files.