I was kinda forced to go...
Not exactly forced, but I went because afterwards, there'd be a lot of vodka going around.
And trust me, after seeing this film, I needed to get trashed.
Unfortunately for me, we ran out of vodka.
This movie was aweful.
Here's why:
1) Alright, the first movie did an ok job with the whole talking animal thing...the second one, not so much. They spend way too much time trying to be cute.
2) The comic relief. (would you call them puns?) Every three minutes, I literally wanted to vomit. Here's the thing: I actually did. While it was mainly due to way too much popcorn and a whole lotta sprite with lemonade and raspberry tea, the childish jokes didn't help any.
3) The allegory. OK, we all know JRR and CS were friends. Any streetwalking bimbo knows that. However, people who say that LOTR has much biblical allegory are looking way too hard. If you can find a biblical message in LOTR, you can find it anywhere. Narnia, on the other hand, was written with the Bible in mind. In the first one, other than Aslan, the allegory wasn't all that in-your-face. In Caspian, it's so clear that you begin to wonder why they just didn't scrap narnia and and call it "stories of the bible". This becomes especially obvious when they have little "kodak moments". Awe...noone had faith in Aslan, so they failed him...but Aslan is a kind lion, and he will forgive them...Bull. This stuff just gets way too out of hand. I know, it's well known that Lewis got really hung up on the allegory. (It ruined the Last Battle). In the movie, it's even worse. If that's even possible.
4) The length. I don't care what you say, it was wayyyyyyyyy too long.
5) It's a bridge! This was the Two Towers of the series! In my opinion, it was always the second worst book, right behind The Last Battle.
6) The audience. The first one was geared towards the 10-14 age group. The second one is geared towards the 4-9 age group. It looks darker, but don't let that fool you.
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The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past his tomb
Strewn with time's dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room