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Scrapheap
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24 Jul 2006, 11:35 pm

The Meaning of Life and the Life of Brian are my two favorites.


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lae
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27 Jul 2006, 2:56 am

I think my favorite sketch had to be Argument Clinic.



nightstar
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19 Aug 2006, 6:17 pm

Life of brian: Always look on the bright side of life, and the Roman guard who cathes that guy writing on the wall.

[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

:lol:

In the holy grail, I love when they read off the wall (aaaaaauuughh) and the killer rabbit is awesome.

[after Bors is killed by the killer rabbit]
Tim: I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it?



ilikedragons
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20 Aug 2006, 12:09 am

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?



RainSong
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20 Aug 2006, 3:38 pm

Ah, the Holy Grail. It's my favorite movie out of all of his.

ilikedragons wrote:
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?


Not at all. They could be carried.

WhiteRaven_214 wrote:
"I'm Aurthor, Kimg of the Britons."

"King of the who????"

"King of the Britons."

"What are Britons???"

"Well we all are... we're all Britons, and I am your King"

"My king"

"Yes"

"Well I didn't vote for you"


"You don't vote for kings."

"Well how'd you become king then?"

"The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king. "

"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. "


----

"Then who is your lord?"

"We don't have a lord."

"I told you, we're an anarco-sydicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week... "

"Yes..."

" ...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting... "

"Yes, I see..."

"...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs..."

"Be quiet!"

"...but by a two thirds majority in the case of..."

"Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!"

"Order, eh? Who does he think he is?"


"We are now the Knights who say..."Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm. "


"And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

"Well, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady."
"I can understand that."

(From The Meaning of Life)
The doctor to a man with only one leg; the other has been bitten off:
"Yes, there's a lot of it around, probably a virus. Keep warm, plenty of rest, and if you're playing football or anything, try and favor the other leg."


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itfits
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20 Aug 2006, 7:25 pm

Kaizen wrote:
She turned me into a newt!

I got better :D


one of my farorites 8)

the knigts in the castle taunts
and let's not forget

"We are the Knights who say Nee"

Also " and they ate the minstles and there was much rejoicing"
and
nevermind there are just to many 8)


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ilikedragons
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21 Aug 2006, 12:08 am

He has a wife you know. Do you know what shes called? She called...Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.



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27 Aug 2006, 6:25 pm

I fart in your general direction!

Your Mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Of course I am French! 'Ow do you think I got zis PREPOSTEROUS accent?


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28 Aug 2006, 3:49 pm

The Holy Grail best movie.

Best quote: On bridge, where they have to answer questions to pass: What's your favorite colour? Blue, no red, no.....ooooooo! And that was the easy question.

I most enjoyed the whole coconut discussion. They discuss wether a swallow could carry a coconut, right. Later in the movie, at the bring out your dead/ I feel much better part you can see in the bottom left corner of the screen a chicken running along with a coconut tied to it's leg. That for me is the most brilliant part.



MomofTom
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28 Aug 2006, 9:17 pm

"MY BRAIN HURTS!"


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Eric_C
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02 Sep 2006, 3:08 pm

Quotes from Monty Python

"I'm Not Dead Yet!"

"No, I didn't"

"I'm not on a wire"

"This is a X parot!"

"It's............"

"The BBC wishes to appoligize"

"We need you for the next Link"

"Get ready to confuse the uh,....the cat"

and

"Oh, your no fun anymore"


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03 Sep 2006, 2:26 pm

Favorite Quote from Flying Circus:

After the Lumberjack Song, a man complained about it:

Dear sir, I wish to complain on the stronglyest possible terms about the previous entry in this file about the lumberjack who wears womens' clothes. Some of my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a few of them are transvestites.

Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.)

P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times



BrainyRedneck
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20 Nov 2006, 3:16 am

I love the scene in Swamp Castle from Holy Grail

King of Swamp Castle: Guards, make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
Guard #1: Not to leave the room... even if you come and get him.
Guard #2: [hiccups]
King of Swamp Castle: No, no. *Until* I come and get him.
Guard #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
King of Swamp Castle: No, no, no. You *stay* in the room, and make sure *he* doesn't leave.
Guard #1: And you'll come and get him.
Guard #2: [hiccups]
King of Swamp Castle: Right.
Guard #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
King of Swamp Castle: No, no. *Leaving* the room.
Guard #1: Leaving the room, yes.
King of Swamp Castle: All right?
Guard #2: [hiccups]
Guard #1: Right. Oh, if, if, if, uh, if, if, uh, if, if, if, we... oh, if... oh...
King of Swamp Castle: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right?
Guard #2: [hiccups]
Guard #1: Oh, I remember, uh, can he leave the room with us?
King of Swamp Castle: No, no, no, no, you just keep him in here, and make sure...
Guard #1: Oh yeah, we'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave, and we were with him...
King of Swamp Castle: No, just keep him in here...
Guard #1: Until you, or anyone else...
King of Swamp Castle: No, not anyone else. Just me.
Guard #1: Just you.
Guard #2: [hiccups]
King of Swamp Castle: Get back.
Guard #1: Get back.
King of Swamp Castle: All right?
Guard #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
King of Swamp Castle: And make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: What?
King of Swamp Castle: Make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: The prince?
King of Swamp Castle: Yes, make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, yes, of course.
[Points at Guard #2]
Guard #1: I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me I were to guard him when he's a guard.
King of Swamp Castle: Is that clear?
Guard #2: [hiccups]
Guard #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
King of Swamp Castle: Right.
[King of Swamp Castle turns to leave the room, both guards follow him]
King of Swamp Castle: Where are you going?
Guard #1: We're coming with you.
King of Swamp Castle: No, no, no. I want you to stay here and make sure *he* doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, I see. Right.



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22 Nov 2006, 3:34 am

:D You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

:D Does anyone else feel like a little... Giggle, when I mention my friend. Biggus... Dickus.

:D He has a wife, you know. Do you want to know what her name is?
Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttox.

:D We are now the knights who say EKI EKI EKI EKI FUKONG ZU-BOING.... (Ni)

:D Squad! Confuse the... CAT.

:D Let the Heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay
For each sperm that can't be found. :D

(There is more...)


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ping-machine
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02 Dec 2006, 4:33 am

Pie Jesu domine. (THUNK) Dona eis requiem. (THUNK)

MORE...

Armaments Book Nine, Verses One to Five.

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "Oh Lord, Bless this thy holy hand grenade of Antioch, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits."

And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and anchovies, and orang utans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...

("Skip that bit, Brother.")

And the Lord spake, saying, "First, shalt thou take out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou two, excepting that thou then proceedst to three. FIVE IS RIGHT OUT.

When the number three, being the third number be reached, lobbest thou thy holy hand grenade of Antioch towards thine enemy, who - being naughty in my sight - shalt snuff it."

...AND ONE FROM "FLYING CIRCUS. Does anyone remember "The Upper Class Twit of the Year", or "Confuse a Cat"?


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03 Dec 2006, 5:02 am

Prefer "Upper Class Twit". Love many of the sketches, particularly those from the first two series of "Flying Circus", particularly the "How Not to Be Seen Sketch".

"Mr Bradshaw, will you stand up please?"

Man stands up. He is shot, and falls to the ground.

"This demonstrates the value of not being seen."

There are actually plenty of Monty Python-based machinima, including several excellent versions of the "How Not To Be Seen" that use mostly FPS.


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