don't forget the premiere of 24 is tonight!

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3rd rule of 24: the more friendly and helpful some random person is to jack bauer, the more likely it is that person will eventually be killed by terrorists while helping jack, or right after helping him.

The 24 Rules of the ‘24’ Universe:

1.Given the chance to kill Jack Bauer, an evil-doer will not do so.

2.Given the chance to kill another major ‘good’ character, there’s a 50/50 chance an evil-doer will do so.

3.Given the chance to kill any other ‘good’ character, an evil-doer will do so.

4.When guarding an exit door, police officers will always stand looking out said door, instead of back at the hallway, making it easy for any evil-doer to slide up behind them and take them out.

5.When guarding an area, CTU and the police will leave one blatantly obvious exit path unguarded.

6.The CTU motor pool issues only large American-made SUVs, typically silver.

7.All evil-doers also drive large American-made SUVs, typically black.

8.Most any problem can be solved by opening a port.

9.If opening a port doesn’t solve the problem, then you must create a protocol.

10.Protocols must be followed, unless you’re Jack Bauer (or Chloe O'Brian.)

11.If you work for “Division,” you only care about protocols and covering your butt in case things go wrong.

12.CTU’s systems can increase image resolution while zooming in to see fine details.

13.CTU’s annual budget request for cubicle walls is always rejected, leading to the inability of anyone on the floor to do anything in secret.

14.All areas of CTU’s workspace are public and visible, except Tech1, where the most-important and often most sinister work occurs.

15.CTU can block all employees’ conversations and emails during times of crisis, but personal cell phone use is allowed without restriction.

16.CTU’s business jets are capable of travel at greater than the speed of sound. (Time the flight from Los Angeles to Visalia in season #2 for proof.)

17.CTU system passwords change seemingly randomly, causing employees to verbally give passwords to one another, thereby severely limiting effectiveness of said passwords.

18.Those on the ‘good’ side get Macs. Evil-doers get PCs. (Not so evenly divided anymore.)

19.Evil-doers will overlook at least one extremely obvious problem in their plans. As a generic example, Chief Bad Dude won’t remember to move his relatives to a safe location before implementing his extremely evil plan.

20.Cell phones will say “No Service” only at the most inopportune times.

21.Cell phone batteries never die, except at the most inopportune times.

22.Tracing a call will always take at least n+1 seconds, where n is the duration of the call.

23.If Kim Bauer is involved, her life will be endangered in some way.

24.You may think you know what’s going on. You’re wrong. You won’t know until at least hour 23, minute 45 or so.

25.Characters never eat; food is not required in this universe.

26.There is ALWAYS a high ranked mole.

27.Try to avoid being the one person that has to “bring Bauer in” to custody. Even if you are best friends, he will more than likely sucker punch you and knock you out.

28.If you have important information for Jack Bauer, you are running a high risk of dying in his arms, having only told a fraction of the information.

AND ALSO, my compilation of "Jack Bauer Facts."

Did I miss 24?

I saw 2 hours season premeir, premier, premere, I really need to learn how to spell.

Was there more that I missed and will there be an encore?

I just thought of something funny.

When Bill was bringing Jack up to speed in the first hour, I would have liked to see Bill mess with Jack's head.

Bill: President Palmer negotiated your release. (A pause) I'm sorry, how could you know? With the corruption of the last administration, a few people thought it would be a good idea to dig up David Palmer's corpse and have him run again. He won in a landslide.

or

Jack: Audrey?

Bill: What? You didn't see her in China? She was the one who arranged for your capture by the Chinese. After they got you, she officially defected and became Cheng Zhi's right-hand woman.

or

Jack: My daughter?

Bill: Wafah al-Madur is fine. After you were captured, she moved to Saudi Arabia and became a terrorist. Actually, she's the one you'll have to kill today.

i wonder how a dead guy would run a country...perhaps a seance?

I can't understand why so many people like these shows. Even people in my family like it and I don't get it. The only thing entertaining I find about them is how their portrayal of things like how computers operate or how locks are picked or how phones are traced is grossly inaccurate to the point that it is humorous.

First off, they "enhance" images far beyond what it physically possible. They've shown a four pixel region blown up to at least a 320x240 region and that just isn't possible.

Then there's lock picking. Did you know you need at least two different tools to pick any lock? You need something to turn it (it's called a torque wrench in the lock picking biz). Then you need something to manipulate the pins (this is called a pick). And even if they do show two tools the torque wrench is usually something that would be totally inappropriate.

Then there is phone tracing. Do you know how long it takes the police to trace a phone call? Is is a minute? Thirty seconds? Nope! If they are looking at your phone call they know where you are the instant a connection is made. This used to not be true way back when you could get free long distance calls simply by whistling into your phone, but now we have a fully digital, computer controlled system making all the connections keeping records of every single thing you do with your phone. The only reason the police would keep you on the line is so that they will have more time to catch you.

Don't be a wet blanket dude.

Well, you conspire to ruin a great thiller so your a wet blanket.

Jack Bauer is gonna get you!

It could have just meant that someone will get so scared they'll pee them selves while sleeping.

Seriously I love IT!! ! (24 not bed-wetters)