40 Year Old Virgin
I just saw it and he seems very much like he is AS. He is more concerned with his action figures than people for instance. Terrible social skills (though he learns them pretty well). Clumsy. Obsessive hobbies. Never learned how to drive (bad coordination?). I can totally relate to him
Interestingly, Steve Carell appears to have AS in "the Office" as Michael Scott---Terrible social skills, total unawareness.
I relate to him less in the office because his unawareness leads not to cute innocence but obnoxious rudeness. (but he is still funny and I can relate to a certain degree)
Cascadians
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 4 Mar 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 197
Location: Oregon City, Oregon
I'm a 47-year-old virgin woman. Fine with me. And, I don't drive a car. Terrified of cars. I could learn, but I don't know if I could go zooming around out there with all the distracted not-following-rules drivers, without having a heart attack. The other cars seem to be going too fast and coming way too close. My family was killed in a car accident and I've been run over a few times, so I'm not fond of cars. I do want to learn to drive though, because it's even more frightening to not have that mobility and independence.
Are virginity and non-driving common Aspie traits?
Sedaka
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i thought as much when i last saw the 40 yov....
funny thing is, first time i saw the movie before knowing what AS was... i just thought that he was being weird (as he is type-casted for such odd characters) and never gave it a second thought.
then i saw it AFTER having found out about AS and it was extremely weird fro me to watch...
whole new persepctive.
i was probably just being over introspective though
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Are virginity and non-driving common Aspie traits?
Virginity probably is(because of will, special preferences, and social problems), but non-driving likely isn't. As you said, you pretty much need to drive. I didn't like that I had to become more agressive, use to the close proximity, and the speed, but the trepidation is pretty much GONE.
Steve
funny thing is, first time i saw the movie before knowing what AS was... i just thought that he was being weird (as he is type-casted for such odd characters) and never gave it a second thought.
then i saw it AFTER having found out about AS and it was extremely weird fro me to watch...
whole new persepctive.
i was probably just being over introspective though
well the stereotype for the nerd is pretty much aspergers.
actually I have noticed a lot of people with AS have problems driving. It has to do with coordination and awareness. I drive, but I've been in a lot of accidents. of course most people with AS do drive, but having AS means you are more likely to have difficulty with it.
Sedaka
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for me... it was more his side to side glances and weird sounds he would make even in small talk and his awkward humor when trying to converse with people...
humor is a big thing for me... i suck at TRYING to be funny. i get people's jokes and such but am not funny myelf... i think is how to word it
that and his shut-in-ness and obbsessive collections
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KaliMa
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Joined: 8 Feb 2007
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I've never posted before, hope I do it ok. I don't know how to copy someone else's post in a white box like I see people normally do.
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Run Over A Few Times? OMG, I thought it was dangerous to be a pedestrian here in Boston!
I'm a 45-year old female virgin. You're not alone. When I was dating, I tried to have sex once and had the worst panic attack of my life -- I couldn't move, speak, or even blink for a few minutes. I was so freaked out I had to leave, which must have been delightful for my poor boyfriend. I finally realized about 15 years ago that I was just dating because it was expected, that it was stressful and I actually had neither the desire nor the interpersonal skills to do it.
I do drive, and I hope you get over your fear of it. It opens up your options. There's a lovely wooded park, 400 acres, a short drive from my home. I like to go there at first light, before it fills up with loud, obnoxious people, and leave an hour later when it gets noisy. It's always great and I never regret making myself leave the house and go there. Maybe there's something like that near you.
KaliMa
I really want to see it, but Mom won't let me. I'm eighteen years old for crying out loud!! In fact, she's barely let me watch rated R movies and is skeptical about the ones I do watch. At least I finally own some myself now (Christine, Man on Fire (much to her dismay), and Hide and Seek).
Oh, you MUST see it! The awkwardness is just terrific in the movie!!
Very funny.
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Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 4 Mar 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 197
Location: Oregon City, Oregon
SteveK, thanks for the response, encouraging, was wondering if I should try or if other Aspies found they just couldn't learn to drive.
KaliMa, I'm so glad you posted! I always thought sex was gross, and remember as a young girl voicing that and my cousins proclaiming that I'd change my mind when I got older. 47 and it still seems extremely disgusting, LOL I wanted to be a nun, and met a spiritual good man who wanted to be a monk and didn't want to have sex; we practice Kriya Yoga (Paramahansa Yogananda) and keep our energy in the heart and above. Well, I still do, but after 19 years of marriage he had a severe mid-life crisis, went insane and ran off with a married crazy (certified) woman, and I've never heard from him since. He filed for divorce the day he abandoned me and ran off to her. I had never dated; we just met at church and wanted to be together. I really loved him deeply and it's very difficult to heal the pain in my heart or forget about him. I believe in Eternal Love. But he became a monster.
The change in him, horrific, once he started fornicating with Janice, was so fast and dramatic and hellbent that it convinced me even more that sex is a bad thing.
Thanks for the encouragement about driving. It would take so much fear and anxiety out of my life to have that mobility. I worry about smashing everybody else out there with my spatial clumsiness, and lawsuits, impossible insurance rates, etc. I'm hoping to learn to drive and then actually doing it at 2/a when there's few other drivers out there. Plenty of 24/7 stores so I could survive on my own if I had to
Do Aspies on this forum date and get along? KaliMa, maybe another Aspie would be a good match for you? I bought a house with my boss after our husbands went beserk and we both took the Aspie test yesterday. I'm a definite Aspie and she's 1/2 NT and 1/2 Aspie so we're able to get along well. It's wonderful to have a friend.
I don't think I'd ever be comfortable with sex; I was born with a religious aversion to it; but I'd like to have male friends like I did in childhood. My husband wouldn't let me have any friends, so I'm starting life over now. He ran away 3 years ago.
steelback
Deinonychus
Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 332
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
I'm close enough to 40 now that when I heard that there was going to be a movie coming out called "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," the first thought in my mind was that my co-workers would immediately target me for jokes about my virginity. I don't hate my coworkers, but they do tend to crack jokes at times about subjects that I would think of as sensitive, like virginity. Fortunately, though, that didn't happen.
BTW, Did you also see Steve Carell in Anchorman? That character might be even more Aspie than he was in 40YOV?
42 year old virgin woman here and likely to fit the stereotype of the "Crazy Cat Lady." I don't drive, but know I will someday need to. There are a lot of bad drivers in my hometown and one particularly bad stretch of road has been the scene of many accidents in the past year. Too scary!
I'm an undiagnosed aspie who has a son who is diagnosed. I never learned to drive either, now my husband is trying to force me to learn, and I am scared to, but if I don't I'll never get to go anywhere like to consignment and antique shops,and flea markets or to museums or the aquarium, Things both my son and I love to do. We are getting so "Ansty" being inside bored all the time.
Cascadians
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 4 Mar 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 197
Location: Oregon City, Oregon
I can so relate to the "daze out." I love trees and have spent my life looking out car windows and staring at trees and the passing landscape and I worry about being able to keep my attention on the road in front while being aware of all the crazy drivers doing bad things on the periphery.
Imagine driving is like any other learned skill; an aspie can put his concentration on it, learn it and be good at it. It's all those other drivers and their unexpected fast moves that worry me.
If you've ever been in a crash you know how fast it happens and how loud very loud crash bang crunch screech crumple; these cars are just thin-skinned tin cans.
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