Q: You punched me in the nose! Picard would never have punched me in the nose!
SISKO: I'm not Picard.
In descending order:
Benjamin Sisko: Strong, confident, refused to take being the Emissary of the Prophets too seriously, and cooked jambalaya aboard a distant space station in the 24th century.
James Kirk: Often imitated, never duplicated, nailed every alien chick they ever found except one (the unnamed Romulan commander from "The Enterprise Incident" - she had the hots for Spock).
Jean-Luc Picard: Had the guts to keep his bald head (come on, they could cure cancer as an outpatient visit and had a medication to cure nearsightedness - do you really buy that they couldn't cure baldness?), could have nailed every chick they ever found but chose not to. Marked down for his reluctance to engage in violence, even when it was obviously called for, and for his misapplication of the Prime Directive (which forbids interference in pre-starfaring civilizations - this does not describe the Klingon Empire).
Kathryn Janeway: Managed to integrate the Maquis, self-conscious rebels against the Federation, into her crew, and looked better than any other Starfleet captain in a tight tank-top while carrying a compression phaser rifle and a bandolier of stun grenades. Marked down for refusing to take the Caretaker up on his offer to 'port them home in the first episode, and for abandoning other promising technologies (for instance, sure, the slipstream drive was a gimmick, and would only work for a couple of hours at a time - but in those couple of hours, they traveled farther than in days of high warp. Why not use the slipstream for a few hours, then use warp drive until the slipstream was available again?).
Jonathan "Asshat" Archer: The weakest of the captains, he never did overcome his basic xenophobia, could never remember the various lessons he learned from one week to the next, almost started an interstellar war because he didn't want to apologize for his dog piddling on someone's sacred tree (and why was his dog along on a first-contact mission anyway?), and, in the end, blew off any mourning for the stupid death of his closest friend in order to go make a self-aggrandizing speech at the founding of the Federation. (Come on, even I was able to write a better death scene for Trip than that last epi had, and even included a funeral scene - and the whole thing would have taken maybe an extra two minutes of screen time! Cut the bit with T'Pol fiddling with Archer's tie before the speech, and you've got plenty of time...)
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Sodium is a metal that reacts explosively when exposed to water. Chlorine is a gas that'll kill you dead in moments. Together they make my fries taste good.