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Asuigeneris1
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06 May 2009, 12:26 am

I love movies and rarely even entertain a critics ideas on a movie unless I've seen it myself and concluded my own opinion. My boyfriend however tends to read reviews and then absolutely refuses to spend time watching a movie if he has concluded it holds no merit {because someone said so}. : P

He also tends to prefer slapstick type humor, which I can watch...but sometimes it offends my sensibilities to be honest, I do it mainly to spend time with him.

As much as I love comedies, I love dramas as well...and he can't bring himself to watch them typically, I like to think it's because they stir emotion in him.

...he does tend to say he doesn't like them because they are sad, but sometimes I wonder if it's just because they strike him so differently than most people?

Is it possible he "knows" that they are supposed to stir emotions and he feels awkward that they don't elicit those kinds of feelings in him?

He does tend to laugh at the most inopportune times typically and sometimes finds very disturbing things beyond comical, though I know he is very sweet and gentle inside.

He perplexes me...and I wish I had someone to watch more flicks with, kinda sucks.

...I am so behind in my movie watching. :?



redplanet
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06 May 2009, 1:23 am

Yes I'm not able to watch any sort of drama at all because I find them too painful to watch. I have undiagnosed AS/autistic traits but I also have a very high level of empathy and I react to events on screen as if they are really happening. I remember when Vera died in Coronation Street and when I saw Jack slumped over his seat at the funeral service I had physcial pains in my stomach from the grief. I can't watch Casualty, The Bill, Eastenders or anything else with a high level of emotional involmenent. I have to give the news a miss most of the time too.

It's entirely possible that your boyfriend really does find the dramas too sad and that's why he prefers comedies. I'd rather watch a comedy anyday. Many people with AS actually feel too much empathy rather than too little, but it just doesn't always translate across to NTs.



irishwhistle
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06 May 2009, 11:41 pm

I avoid the news too. I don't think people understand that. But I don't understand how they can go on content from day to day with things like that on their minds.

As to dramas, it would depend on what you mean by that. Could you give some examples? I mean, when you look at what is classified as a drama in movie stores, well, it covers a lot of ground, from lighter things to fairly gritty ones. I don't like "chick flicks" usually, at least, not the pack of women bonding over their dirty little life secrets variety that so often star Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts. I don't like it when a movie takes the emotions too far, hooks you with some very universal sentiment and then ruthlessly drags you through Hell as you linger hoping all will come out well in the end. I don't like a movie that makes people cry. I don't cry at movies that other people do. I've never liked Gone With the Wind. One danged problem after another, all surrounding a chick you couldn't possibly like. I like my drama seasoned with humour, carefully crafted romance instead of cheap plotlines and gratuitous sex scenes, genuine feeling not stretched to the point of cruelty, and dramatic elements that make sense instead of being thrown in to wrangle around the viewer.

But give some examples of what you mean and I might be able to address the question. I do like Frank Capra movies, but I don't like the parts where "the man" almost crushes the hero. There's always something like that.


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Asuigeneris1
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08 May 2009, 6:23 am

Been a rough couple of days, feeling lonely and ignored...again.

...as for examples, really anything dramatic.

From Juno to Mask to anything that jerks the heartstrings in most people I know.

Personally I found Juno humorous, but the subject matter made Nick refuse to watch it...same with Mask, Seven Pounds, pretty much anything that isn't Monty Python or Aquateen Hunger Force. : P



irishwhistle
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08 May 2009, 9:26 am

Yeah, I don't generally like being jerked around... emotionally. I'm unstable enough without having my state of mind set on it's ear by a made up story. I suppose that means all the stories I write will be shallow. I can live with that. One of my many favorite movies (probably regarded as a drama, ironically) is Sullivan's Travels, and tells about how in hard times people need to laugh.


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08 May 2009, 1:06 pm

Dramas don't interest me much, I need to escape from so called real life, not watch it as well as live it.


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08 May 2009, 7:03 pm

I will watch some kinds of dramas, but I hate "chick flicks" and romance. I prefer action movies.

PrisonerSix wrote:
Dramas don't interest me much, I need to escape from so called real life, not watch it as well as live it.

Ditto. I also don't need to be reminded of what my life "could have" been like if I was a more "normal" person.



Asuigeneris1
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12 May 2009, 6:56 am

Thanks for the replies everyone, it did give me some perspective...I suppose one reason I have wanted to share things that have touched me {as in movies, music etc.}, is because I feel some need to confirm that he has similar feelings and is touched as well.

...but in all honesty.

I know in my mind that isn't the case, it's just my heart that holds on to that idea.

He feels and sees things very differently than I do, it's just so strange loving someone who you know never intersects with you on the most basic emotional levels.

I just yearn for more understanding of that inner sanctum, that place where mental and physical connect and touch each other...movies can reach very deep within me at times and force me to feel things that on a normal day I would avoid at all costs.

Yet I don't understand that place in him, I don't really know what's in there really...sometimes it feels like there is a short in the wiring and perhaps he never has those moments where the mind and body connect like that.



irishwhistle
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12 May 2009, 2:58 pm

Could be... I don't really get this mind and body connecting thing you're talking about. If there's a way to make 'em connect more than they already do, I must not have run across it. I have inspired moments but I don't expect anyone to share them. That's the trouble with a thing that is so personal that you feel it resonates with you particularly. You can't expect a movie that touched you deeply, or an epiphany that changed your life, or just anything that was a particular revelation to you to mean as much to another person. You can share enjoyment. You can achieve comprehension or understanding. But you can't count on a divine melding of souls over a motion picture that means something to you... If it just doesn't do it for someone else. A lot of people are deeply moved by a lot of movies that I think are a lot of crap. I personally love some movies that bore my husband to tears. He enjoys movies that put my lights out similarly. We both like The Philadelphia Story, His Girl Friday, and movies of those genres. We both like riffs on cheesy movies. And we both like superhero movies. But we are as intimate as you can get in other ways. Sometimes you just don't connect on every level. It can be disappointing. It's just not the whole picture. It just makes you individuals.

He also might have a different idea of what basic emotional levels are. But too much stock is put on having enormous amounts of common ground in order to have a successful relationship. Commitment with all it entails is more important. If you have enough in common, or the right things, and each party is willing to sacrifice, to not make petty issues become serious ones, and to be patient with times when things cease temporarily to be wonderful or even good... well, then you have a chance. Because they stop being good sometimes, and you have to remember why they were, and how good they really are... and that they get better.

But you were just talking about movies... Eh, well.

For what it's worth, one of my favorite love stories is Spider-Man 2.


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The world loves diversity... as long as it's pretty, makes them look smart and doesn't put them out in any way.

There's the road, and the road less traveled, and then there's MY road.


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12 May 2009, 3:26 pm

I often giggle at the wrong times. And I point out logical flaws as well, which annoys people. Oh, and the sarcastic comments I can never bear to keep inside my head without saying out loud. I'm basically the most annoying person to have in the room when you're trying to watch TV. :lol:


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12 May 2009, 5:56 pm

I watch a lot more tv now than I used to. Back when I was a teen I would have never given any live action show a view and I hated most of teenage programming because of my inability to relate.

Now that I am older I watch CURRENT teenage shows such as 90210 and The Secret Life of the American Teenager with absolute enjoyment (mainly cause I know it's completely unrealistic and ridiculous the way some of these shows are even portrayed that it's funny). I hate comedies...especially hate romantic comedies. I've been watching "Grey's Anatomy" this year but I probably won't watch it anymore cause I'm getting bored with it. Romantic comedies in movies are even worse because they're so unoriginal and predictable from my perspective. The only reason people would go and see this movies is to see how the main couple ends up together by the flick's end.

I can't enjoy much of Hollywood anymore because everything's either a book adaptation or a comic book adaptation. It's all gone to the geeks and while you think that maybe a good thing it's sucking away all originality in Hollywood from the other extreme. I was friends with a lot of film geeks in college and I never understood their tastes for indie films or Academy Award winning films with dull sounding premises.



Asuigeneris1
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13 May 2009, 6:49 am

Honestly, he and I have so little in common it's pathetic...but he also seems to have so few interests and so little interest in anything new that he himself doesn't choose.

...yet I still feel connected to him for some odd reason?

I love movies that make me think of what I might do in a scenario or movies that are idealistic in nature compared to what I live. Mostly I like odd movies that have more bizarre story lines. I tend to like Indie flicks for that reason.

Some of my faves are Phantom of the Paradise, Leon: The Professional, Forrest Gump, Mask, The Green Mile, American Beauty, Life is Beautiful, The English Patient and sooooo many others.

My fave Disney type flick was "Alice in Wonderland" and I loved watching "Willy Wonka" each year on the tube as a child.

As for TV, not a huge fan anymore...everything seems so stupid.

Have enjoyed "House" in the past and loved the HBO show "Six Feet Under".

...as a kid I loved Twilight Zone and Night Gallery episodes and of course, Sid and Marty Krofft were awesome and weird as all hell. :lol:



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13 May 2009, 10:22 am

I did remember one last note on the watching dramas topic. I've always been uncomfortable with strong or inappropriate emotion in something I'm watching. I'm not sure which it is. Excess, maybe? Here's some examples... everytime someone cries in a comedy and their crying is supposed to be funny, it really bothered me as a kid. It still does now sometimes. I hate the many commercials where crowds of people act totally immature over the product, fighting or racing or lying to get it, too.

But I do also enjoy movies with weird characters. I do not like thinking about what I'd do in a random, totally unlikely scenario. Like that question people always seem to throw out about what you'd take if you were stranded on a desert island. Well, who bloody cares? You don't get to pick, that's why it's called "stranded".

I enjoy an old movie, from the 30s mostly, that's so far removed from this time that there's not one single slang word in common.


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"Pack up my head, I'm goin' to Paris!" - P.W.

The world loves diversity... as long as it's pretty, makes them look smart and doesn't put them out in any way.

There's the road, and the road less traveled, and then there's MY road.


Asuigeneris1
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14 May 2009, 4:02 am

I also really like The Fifth Element, I like to sing the Diva's Theme. LOL



irishwhistle
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14 May 2009, 12:14 pm

Asuigeneris1 wrote:
I also really like The Fifth Element, I like to sing the Diva's Theme. LOL


I looked up the aria and the soprano just because they made it sound so beautiful. But the song was so sad and the soprano didn't seem as good in anything else... so I just enjoy it in the movie.


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"Pack up my head, I'm goin' to Paris!" - P.W.

The world loves diversity... as long as it's pretty, makes them look smart and doesn't put them out in any way.

There's the road, and the road less traveled, and then there's MY road.


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14 May 2009, 12:36 pm

Asuigeneris1 wrote:
I like to sing the Diva's Theme
I like doing the Mangalore voice "FOR THE HONOR"