How do you deal with bullying???

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We moved from the town in which I was raised when I was 16, just after my Freshman year in high school. I moved from a tiny town in which my parents were fairly high in the social strata to a much larger, cowboy town, where my Mom was another stay-at-home and Dad was a working stiff. I decided during this move that I was not going to put up with any more bullying. At this time I was tall, but very skinny.

Shortly after starting school I was targeted by one of the very large footbal team members as his prey. He stood in front of me in the locker room, where neither of us had any clothes on and bean to try to intimidate me. There were many of my classmates around. I continued with what I was doing and didn't look at the bully, but I did talk to him.

In a fairly loud, monotone voice, but not shouting, I told him, "You are large enough to beat me up, if that is what you want to do. However, once you do, you will live the rest of your life looking for me, because I will attack you every time I see you. In the hallways, in class, in the Principal's office, in the police station, at lunch, downtown...any where I see you, I will attack you and you will have to beat me up again.

"The only way you can stop me will be to move out of this town or kill me.

"Now, if you want to beat me up, get started."

He not only backed off, he would intervene if he saw others start to bully me. We were never friends, but he would pass the word that I was just too crazy to be worth the bother.

Pops

Remember, bullies get a sense of satisfaction when they can tear someone up.

Just tell your kid whenever anybody calls him that, let him say quietly "well, I am sorry you think you are stupid, it's a shame really".

Unfortuantly, as we grow up there are really big bullies out there, look at Mugabe and Bashir, or that evil boss who loves pushing his workers around in his evil chess game.

Sorry I can't help much here. I'm being bullied/verbally harassed online and harassed in real life by a group of people and I tried virtually everything to get them off my backs (if only it were easy, they harass me in real life to). I try my best to ignore them, but they're always trying to provoke me.

Tell him that the bully's a dork for calling him that. He doesn't need to say anything to the bully, he just needs to know that.

I think it's important to make sure your son realizes that whenever people choose to do something mean for no reason, it's always about them, the perpetrators, and not about the person being targeted. He may need to be reminded that just because someone calls him dork, it's not a reflection on him and he should not start believing that maybe he really is a dork!

I beat the snot out of a kid that was bullying my younger brother in middle school, that was pretty satisfying. After I moved on to high school, he tried to start in on my brother again, so I taught my brother a modified judo take-down. My brother grabbed the kid from behind in a hallway, put an elbow in his face, and threw him over his knee, after which he pummeled him so ferociously on the ground that he had to be dragged off the guy. The funny thing was that when the school found out the history, my brother was told not to do it again, and the kid got the cops sent to his house because he'd been making threats that he had a gun. I don't know which was more satisfying, beating the guy myself, or by proxy. I've had a lifelong hatred of bullies, and truly believe that the pacifist approach does not work, and may make it worse. These days, simply calling attention to the large and ominous bulge on my hip is usually enough to convince some overly aggressive person to find an easier target, but most people don't have that option.

I have been bullied my whole life. The best way is too ignore them completly than they get tired of it. It takes the fun. My mother always told me but I do it now and it works.

I'm not sure this thread belongs to the welcome forum, but here it goes:

Different approaches are effective in different situations. I was lucky in that I was invisible up to the third grade. I was then targeted by two six-graders by an unknown reason. They were twice my size, so I had no other choise than to turn to the authorities at school. I went to the teacher's lounge and explained the latest occurence. After some questions, I got to pick out the bullies from some class pictures. I don't know what happened thereafter, but they left me alone.

Second bullie: One of my best friends started targeting me in an attempt to rise in the social rankings. Very early on, we had an loud argument in the school hall and he slapped me in the face twice, once on each cheek. After the second slapping, I did not want to get hit anymore so I took hold of his arm and shuved him along the wall of the corridor. This effectively disabled his arms. We walked alongside the wall for about 6 meters. During that time, I was able to verbally convey him my dislike of his recent actions. Soon after releasing him, the teachers got involved. After hearing both stories, they decided to punish him and he never bullied me again. This was on sixth grade. We remained friends but I never trusted him again. At the end of the year, we went to different schools.

I upper elementary school (equivalent of junior high school). I was teased, but I ignored their attempts except for two occasions. One, in which a backpack was thrown on my head, I immediately went to the headmaster/school principal and explained the events. Again, I was allowed to pick out the person from class photographies and he never did anything of the sort again. The other event was during my final year, a peer of mine, real skum of society, decided to target me. On his approach to do me physical harm (he spoke of it moments before), I managed to avoid his fist and tripple his feet. All his possie was looking and they stopped laughing when they realized their "champion" laid on the ground. Needless to say, none of them ever attempted even verbal abuse after that. This incident kept me secure all the way through high school.

I do not condone physical retaliation of any sort, but sometimes defence that temporarily passivates the aggressor, is called for. I believe the most effective way is to have the bullie know that such behavior is not tolerated both in school and at home. The difficult part is to get the bullies parents to accept that their "poster child" could ever do such a horrible thing. The earlier the intervention, the better. Sometimes, all it takes is a bystander stepping in between the aggressor and the victim. Ideally a peer or another (older) student.

Just joined so I am a little late to this thread but I will jump in.

The first thing I would check is if the school has an effective bullying policy (if the first thing they talk about is there no tolerance rule you can be very sure they do not). If they do not, then ask them why (if you do not know what is involved in a comprehensive bullying policy read Perfect Targets by Rebekah Heinrichs)? Then insist that they implement one.

If you live in the USA then your state should be in the process of implementing legislation and regulations to comply with the NCLB gang/bullying prevention section. If they are resistant then just put the same policy in place in you child’s IEP so at least they will have to implement it in his environment and for those who come in contact with him (for practical purposes this means the whole school.

My child’s district is just in the process of drafting the local policy. I made sure to be a member of both the district and local school’s committee.

Just calling an IEP meeting over the issue will send the message that you are serious about it.

bookwormde