welcome into my life

Post Reply New Topic

this is a little bit funny - my first post here - and i'm not quite sure if i'm doing this right - although i did read the rules for the posting and hopefully i'll be abiding by them. I am very very happy to finally be here with you all. I can't tell you how much you mean to me because it's very much heaps. Possibly you've saved my life, but that's difficult to determine. I was diagnosed only a couple of years ago and both before and after that time my life has been both ecstatically good and the complete opposite of that (dependent on whether contact with others was involved!!). I haven't always had computer access in that time but I've lurked on this neuro-different-web-world quite a bit whenever I could and like many of you, been amazed at some of our similarities. That certain wiring in the brain can determine actual life experiences should make perfect sense, yet it seems so coincidental when it comes to sharing our stories. Anyhow I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this (lol!) so it might be for the best if I just leave it at this for now, and then I'll try to navigate my way around the forums and see what to do next. Before I go I really want to express my thanks to you all for helping me understand myself. I always felt happy and free to identify as an individual and now I feel happy and free to identify as one of the aspies of this world! Woo-hoo!! !

Welcome to WP!

Wow! Tim Tex - thank you so much for the welcome! I used to notice you welcoming other new members and always thought it was very kind of you. So I'm quite chuffed. Thanks.

The title of your intro warmed my heart, Sporad, and I welcome you into ours!

Welcome.

Welcome to the RIGHT planet.

Hi and Welcome to here!

Welcome ^_^ I look forward to getting to know you more.

Hi. It's very nice to be here in your life.

Awww man, I remember that same awful feeling where my head went into meltdown - it had simply become too much effort for my CNS to support all that negative energy. Do you feel like your head is in a better place now?

Thanks everyone for your kind welcomes. I really appreciate it.

And thanks for asking munty13. My head is in a much better place these days but only in dependence on certain factors - namely the removal of the cause of the meltdowns (my involvement in society!!) So I settle now for loving everyone from an ever-so-happy distance, which is probably not the best long-term solution as I tend to get resentful when people get close to me, which results in the sudden disappearance of the sadly-only-temporary state of happiness I had achieved!

There's a funny buddhist story of a monk(?) who went into solitude to meditate on patience. Patience meaning to refrain from anger. Anger meaning the wish to harm. Anyhow, one day his meditation was interrupted by someone (possibly his teacher). And he got angry at this person because they interrupted his meditation!! It was then pointed out to him that he must have been meditating incorrectly because an effective meditation influences the way we live and our interactions with others.

So anyhow I identify with this story because I'd like to have an unconditional love for everyone, but only on the condition that they don't get too close!! lol! But apart from that, I'm satisfied that these practices have given me a way to focus my mind in a positive way, a reason to live, and hope for an eventual cessation of the suffering. I may not be able to integrate myself into society, but as I mentioned in the other post - that may be for the best - to minimise distraction so that something significant might actually be achieved.

The only other main hindrance I guess is the 'executive function' part of my brain that has immense difficulty structuring my practices and balancing these with unfortunately-necessary everyday sorts of activities. But otherwise I'm content and happy with the little progress I've made thus far, interspersed with an only-occasional meltdown when certain life events spring themselves upon me and I can't deal with them in a functionally-mature way.

I'm quite confident enlightenment would fix all that though.! lol

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hello SporadSpontan, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Hi SporadSpontan and Welcome to WP! Yay!

I just saw your post in the South East Queensland thread - Another Aussie joins us!
Woot!

You mentioned meditation, do you happen to do it?
Talk about a life changing event!
I had never felt such peace and serenity in my life until the first time I achieved the 'state'.

Thanks everyone!

syzygyish - I'm happy to see that you've also benefited from meditation. And yes, definitely - talk about life changing!! ! lol I don't really know who I am, but I know that I think! lol I occasionally get into the non-conceptual realm and there's nothing like it. Woo-hoo!

I'm sorry to hear of your hurt leejosepho, and totally understand it. I guess the way I turn this around for myself is a technique that focuses the present mind on its future, more 'realised' state. By doing this over and over, through familiarity the mind eventually becomes one with that. If I keep focusing on past disappointments I would feel very sad, but by 'pretending' that my mind has already achieved its future goal it makes me very happy. It may seem like living in a fantasy world, but it's actually the method used by Tibetan lamas and they seem to be very happy.

The other method is one that focuses on wishing others happiness despite my own pain. This broadens the mind and amazingly takes the focus off my own situation. This technique is based on the principle that our happiness only comes from our concern for others, and our sadness comes from our concern for ourselves. HH the Dalai Lama calls it 'wise selfishness'! lol
Because we are the ones who end up being happy as a result.

I've failed at many things over the years, and was unable to do things that I really really wanted to do. But these simple, yet profound techniques have been something I can do - that neither AS or society can take away from me. It's reduced the frequency and severity of meltdowns, and over time I won't be surprised if there are even better outcomes than that. Even when I've been in catatonic states, and suicidal states - I've been able to employ these methods to get me through.

You're very wise, SporadSpontan.

...I'm curious about your username.
Does it have any significance to you you or is it just a random conglomeration?

(Mines based on a complete misunderstanding of the word syzygy, fyi.)

haha syzygyish! - I too have that same misunderstanding of the word syzygy -so feel free to enlighten me! .... I like your signature by the way - gotta watch out for that Vishnu! lol

My username has a full meaning and is definitely not random. When I registered with WP I was asked to type a nickname - hence the SporadSpontan. If I was asked to type a username it would have been SporadicallySpontaneous - because that's me! lol

This refers to both the occasional impulsive (sometimes life-threatening) actions I can be known for that have enriched my otherwise-mechanical existence, as well as the compassionate-spontaneity I wish to achieve in full - which at the moment is only in the early stages of 'sporadic'.

Several years ago I witnessed this spontaneous activity being performed by someone I consider to be very wise, and I believe it to be a manifestation of compassionate mind. I was in a room with other people, lots of tables and chairs, and food was being served. A 'cafe' I think is the word for it. lol! The people standing at the table next to me were about to put their plates of food on the table when suddenly the legs of the table began falling away (it was a plastic table), and the table was collapsing. None of them had their hands available to rescue it. While I stood watching it, my mind trying to process what course of action to take - suddenly, from across the room filled with obstacles of people and other furniture - this woman appeared seemingly instantaneously, and was under the collapsing table - holding it up with her head whilst her two arms somehow performed the action of several arms - catching the four or five table legs (it was a circular table) and reconnecting them to the table.

I knew this woman to be a meditation practitioner. All I could think was that if we train our minds to think solely of being of benefit to others, eventually we'll be able to act spontaneously in ways that are harmonious with these thoughts. Like an instant reaction that's fully imbued with positive intentions. Like superman! lol! That's my dream at least - to be able to do amazing things like that. Logically speaking, I think that if our compassionate thoughts become uncontrived then it will necessarily become evident in our actions.