New here, looking for some help.

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Yes and no. When it comes to forums, where the interests are similar to mine, i can socialice with up to tree other individuals. Else i find myself as passive within a few seconds, unable to cope with the fast changing subjects. Therefor i search for a excuse to wanish, or i simply disapeer in to my own world, loosing contact to "real world".
When it come to social cues, i simply can't read it unless pretuned for whats goin' on. And Yeah Bullying still happens on a nearly day to day basis. And also did from some colleagues, until i got my official dx. roughtly a month ago (on 4. mar.) - When they were told about me having AS, that changed! - I had a previously dx (MBD) that they didn't know about, cause i didn't feel it was the real me! Got that dx age 10, in'77.
Oh. Nearly forgot. cant hear the small differences in tone that make NT's humour ect. I have humour but others seems to find it odd...
Thou, since im a little hearing impared, i can read some facial expressions, but has taken the hole life to learn!



They fall in to tree categories! - The ones that knows and accept what it means. - The ones that knows, but dont get it... - And those that aint informed!
My father in law, knows and accept it, But my wife hasn't fully coped with the fact that she's "lost" the battle about my bad short term memory and energy... we has been together for 17½ year! - And is slowly getting more tolerent. accepting that i am who i'we always been, and that its her wish'es she has to adjust...
My thildren, and rest of my family dont know yet. In time they will, but i hasn't had the oppotunity yet. - And the kids aint old enought to, fully, understand what it means.



Since the old dx were a little aside, i didnt take it serious. But as i were dx in 3. grade i was a bit behind. I got ½ a year of help 1 hour a day after school to bring me up to level. and after that i did not recieve more help in the different educational systems. At a time i tried but were told that they didnt believe i could succeed study. - So i did, on my own...



Plenty as they didn't know why i acted as i did. - I finished education in '92. - Two years before AS were accepted as a dx here in Denmark.
There were plenty of small-talk due lectures, and teachers that didn't matter, they'd just stare at the blackboard, mumbling!
And the other students? - NT's talking about Aspies lack of empaty...



Not directly, as being a technician, but misused in a matter making me leave? Definetly!! ! Two times! - One of the jobs, the boss were pushin me to work approxematly 42 hours a week (five days week)
When really should have had 27. - Over a period of 3 months! When i asked for payment he just laughted and said it were "interesttime" - Saying that he didnt order me to take these extra hours.
But he knew i took things litteraly, and pushed on giving me more and more work, saying he expected it finished same evening... - The other job were about way to much bulliing from colleagues, and a manager that didn't mind! - He were a quarter drunkard, and expected me to take over, also knowing about that i had a "disability"...



Once i the primary school, 7. grade, i were bullied wery forcefull, both in classes and in the schoolyard, by one student, for nearly 4 hours. Throving things in my neck in class, and pushing, hitting ect. in the yard. At last he got me cornered, and kicked to the ground. I got caught by panic and hit him, and then i just went black, Later i was told i started humming and swaying... I remember that when i hit him, the pictures of all the bullying before that day, flushed trugh my mind. And after that sorrow, shame and emptyness. - That was the worst day of my life!! I have had other meltdowns and blackouts.
But this was the first major one! It took several days for me to find myself again, and nothing were the same anymore. - As i saw the beast within!! !

Sorry - Has to be it for now...

Just gotta say, Hauge, I feel for you. I'm glad you've managed to pull through the bullying as I did. One of the hardest times I've had (and you, if I've got you right).

Guess I've been lucky with the NT's I've met, they've mostly taken me as quirky/eccentric from high school and onwards, even got a few good friends during high school who started a gaming organization. We used to have LAN parties (at which I became sort of a legend in Reaction Quake 3 ), board game weekends and other fun stuff, but since people started with university studies we haven't seen each other that frequently. Still consider them to be friends, or close acquaintances.

Hauge: Wow, you have quite a story! Thank you for sharing it with me!

I have a couple of questions:
"...I had a previously dx (MBD) that they didn't know about..." What was the diagnosis? I'm assuming the MBD in parentheses is the diagnoses, but I'm not sure what that is right off.

This isn't really related to my paper, but I'm curious: When you speak of the tones you cannot hear that make NT's humor, I was wondering if sarcasm falls under that category. Do you get sarcasm? Are you sarcastic at times?
Also, I have to tell you that I know plenty of people who don't have AS whose humor is odd!! ! Myself included!

I think it's great that your wife is coming around to your diagnosis. I've read some stories about people who have been diagnosed later in life and their families just don't get it and insist it's something the person can control. I also think it's great that you succeeded in school on your own. I think that says a lot about you!

"There were plenty of small-talk due lectures, and teachers that didn't matter, they'd just stare at the blackboard, mumbling!
And the other students? - NT's talking about Aspies lack of empaty..." Can you expand on this? I'm not entirely sure what you mean.

On your employment issues, I have to agree that that is discrimination. They should have had more respect for you and accommodated your needs by saying only what they meant. That's awful that you had a manager that didn't stop the bullying. And the fact that he was drunk on the job tells me he shouldn't have had the job in the first place!

I find it very interesting that you remember with great detail the bullying event that occurred in 7th grade. It must have been awful for you. I've heard of people with AS "going" somewhere else in their minds when they're upset, and from what I understand it is very difficult to pull them out of it. I'm so glad you found yourself again!

What you have told me so far has already been very helpful, and again I thank you for sharing your story with me!

Tosoth: Bullying is tough to get through, no matter what reason you are being bullied; I'm very glad that both you and Hauge got through that difficult time in your lives, and seemed to stay positive throughout it all!

No worries about not knowing of any particular stories at the moment. You've already given me so much information!! If you do think of anything, definitely feel free to post it or pm me! I'll continue to work on questions, but I'm not sure how many more I'll be able to think of!

Everyone: If you speak to anyone on here on a regular basis, I would really appreciate it if you would recommend they comment as well (of course, as they feel comfortable). All the help I can get will be extremely appreciated!

Minimal Brain Dysfunction were a old "broad" dx witch i were explained as a kid, were about attention disorders. Later i were told that it was a "dx-umbrella" including ADD ADHD and similar. I got mine on the fact that i had a tendensy to withdraw and be "remote", and also caused by my disability when it came to learn things that didn't interrest me... Also, my mom were told that they believed that i had a braindamage, as the eeg's shoved odd curves (wrong levels, in different parts of the brains, where not expected, on different stimuli) they believed were epilepsy, but not documented, and they couldn't provoke any attacs! Tried to control those anomaly with tegretol and deprakine. - Needless to say that didnt make me function better. - Actually tegretol made me sick, and deprakine so drained of energy that i could sleep 12-14 hours a day...



Hmm seems theres a sort of understandment(?) that i dont hear. A quick remark, in a discussion, is exactly so much out of phase, that i can't shift to decode fast enough ect. Seems to be out of the same reasons i cant small-talk? fast changes in phrases that goes on so fast that i cant change interface quick enough. - Does this make sence?
If i'm in a situation where i know it's about humour, and can consentrate about that, theres plenty of good laughts to tell about. I love Monty Python, Fawlty Towers and so on, But also love to find odd or errorus phrases in homepages ect.
And i do understand sarcasm, and can use it myself. - If tuned in to the contect/situation... - That was one of my fathers main tools to terrorise his surroundings, so i had to learn, in a wery young age, simply to "get along".

An example of my odd humour:
At work, all my coleagues, and the youghts, (I'm working at a social boardingschool, as IT-admin/Tech ect.) - were "ordered" to show social/national regarding World championship in football.
I'm not interested in football, but did as told. it was quite boring untill the others were warmed up... Then i came to look at all the odd behaviors, and the social hysteria, they all had! - It made me laught nearly uncontrollably! And after a short period of time, 3 minutes app, i were asked if i didn't have something else to do...! That made my week!! !



Thank You for that kind remark!

About empathy, and lack of?
What i meant were that i didn't recieve any myself! - The other students were aware of my problems. The first day at "tech college" i told my classmates, and teachers, that i were hearing impared, and that i had MBD. - None the less there were only two teachers and one(! !!) student that tried to take notice, on a dayli basis. And as lectures took part, the other students rambled along while teacher ignored and just continued. This was wrong in 6 out of 8 classes! - I tried to talk to the headmaster about it, and it helped for one to two week(s), and we were back to square one.
My classmates either couldn't or wouldn't see what they build up around me! - These three years, are without any doubt the worst part of my life! - And when over i tumbled in to a deep black hole called depression... it took over a year.... - And no more about that!! !



Only glad to help!! !
After all, were all here to help each other. And can my story, be of any help or releave to others, the whole purpose of being here, is met!

Best regards

Are you one lucky man!! !
At school i had two friends, who only helt untill about the age of twelve. - But i had a great family (exclude my father) who did anything to make my day as untroubled as possibly! - I wish i could give some back, but most are gone...
Today i have tree good friends and a couple of acquaintances, mostly older than me in their 50 - 60'ies, that i share interests with! - So can surely relate to Your IT story...

About bullying, at a time i hope, and think, You, as i, learned to withdraw in to a parrallel dimention where the sounds, and persons, simply were filtered out? Right?
I surely wouldn't go that path again! It took all to many years to get (well nearly) the selfesteem, up to a decent level...

Oh Forgot!
Gender=male

It has been brought to my attention that I am not showing appreciation for your help. I apologize for not having been on the forum recently, as I have been extremely busy in my schooling, work, and volunteer activities. I'm currently working on my paper; it is approximately 1/2 to 3/4 of the way completed. I'm trying to find a way to post my completed paper publicly so everyone who has offered their story to me can see how I have used it within my paper. If and when I find a way to do so (short of copying/pasting the whole thing into a message like this), I will definitely let you all know!

Again, I want to extend my sincere thanks to everyone who has participated in my research activity! It has been a pleasure working with all of you on my project and learning more about your lives! I have learned so much from all of you!!

Again, I apologize for my absence on the forum. I will try to keep everyone updated!

Thanks again!

Ashley

I also wanted to let everyone know that not every piece of everyone's story is going to be in my paper. Many of the things I asked you did not pertain to discrimination, and thus, did not pertain to my paper. I was just very interested in your stories, and I'm so glad you all volunteered to share them with me!!

You are all awesome, wonderful people, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! I'm working hard on my paper, and should hopefully be done with it soon!! Hopefully I can find a way to post my paper so you all can see the finished product that you all had a part in!!

Once again, thank you!!

Ashley

Hi Ashley!

Good luck with Your project! - I'm really lookin' forward to see the result!

Best regards

Welcome!

Okay, everyone! My paper is COMPLETE!! (Woohoo!!) I have found a way to share my paper with you all, unfortunately, I need your email addresses to be able to allow you access. If no one would like to share their email address (which will only be used to allow you access to the paper. I'll probably leave my paper up where it is for about 2-3 weeks to give everyone time to view it, should you choose to...once that time period is over, I will delete your email address.), no problem, please let me know and I will just copy and paste the paper into one of these messages....it's just long and easier to read as a word document. If you are interested in viewing the paper where I have it, pm me your email address and I will add you to the allow list.

I just want to thank everyone again for your time, for welcoming me and allowing me here, and, most importantly, for sharing your stories with me. I hope I did you all justice in my paper!!

And for those who do choose to view it I just want to note that the final draft that I turned in, I did cite this forum and all of your messages, but have taken all of those out to protect everyone's privacy. If you share your email address and view the document, please tell me what you thought of it!!

Thank you all again, and again, and again! You're all amazing!

Ashley

I have found a way to not need email addresses and allow you all to see my paper!


Here's a link to the paper:
https://cid-07012ace806db15c.skydrive.l ... N8HReE4%24

You'll have to copy and paste it into your browser, as it won't work if you just click on it. No email addresses are needed!
Let me know what you think!


Thank you all again!