The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I don't know if you can do anything with this information or not, but it may be of some help to you.
My cousin is the VP of Education for the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America. Ginger Gray. She is a wonderful person and has had a difficult but productive life with Crohn's and is now using all of her experience to help others. The website is www.ccfa.org. You probably already know about the web site. Sorry you are having a bad Crohn's day. I don't know much about Bi-Polar disorder, but I'm guessing it would not be fun, so glad you don't believe your husband has that. Hope everything moves along well with your day care business. Good day care is so hard to find.

My family and I are well. Yesterday, it was very hot here, and of course it was the day we had to put up our tomatoes for the winter. The kitchen is not air conditioned and it was hot as hell with the pots of tomatoes stewing. It was my job to peel the hot skins off before they went into the stew pot. I put on a pleasant front for my husband's sake, but I hated every minute of it. He was pleased as punch for my help so that made it all worthwhile.

This morning started off bad, funny now that I look back on it. I went out on the screen porch with my coffee and a letter I was writing to another cousin in Louisiana. We have been nursing a robin back to health and the thing dive bombed me and I spilt my coffee all over my skirt. So I recovered, arranged my skirt so the wet part wouldn't be on my legs and shrugged it off. Then as I prepared to write once again, the bird flew at me and into my coffee mug. Now I was thoroughly pissed and went inside. My husband said it was I was the first one onto the porch and the bird was hungry and that's why he flew at me. So from now on, I will either feed the bird before I get comfortable, or I will not be the first one on the porch in the morning.

Nursery Rhymes for the Current Generation, in honor of the high quality television shows to which I was subjected last night during "prime time" hours (I knew there was a reason I rarely watch TV). After watching all that, this is how the rhymes probably would go for the kids today:




Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

********************

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

********************

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now she's got a son.

********************

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon ,
"Pies, you Dumb Ass"

********************

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

************ ********

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

********************

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

********************

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.



~~~~~~~~~~~~
No, I didn't write them.

I would say you are probably right. Did you know that childcare professionals frown upon teaching the old nursery rhymes because they are violent and dark, but the kids watch that crap on TV with their parents all the time. It is really pathetic. I'm not supposed to show dayhome children Disney movies because they are politically incorrect. This society is really sad.

I rarely watch TV anymore. I do occasionally watch movie channels, especially the classics. I watch the History & Discovery channels, PBC, BBC, BRAVO and The Learning Channel and Home & Garden TV. I hate the news channels and only watch if there is a catastrophe or major news event that interrupts regular broadcasting. Most sit-coms will not hold my interest, or they're too bizarre or trashy. I watch Seinfeld reruns and I hate to admit this, but I like DOG, the bounty hunter. His wife and kids and family are so interesting. I especially like his wife, Beth. I watch American Idol, and I used to love Project Runway.

Thank you for the website, CC. I must admit that I have gotten a little complacent when it comes to finding out what's new about the disease. I was diagnosed 23 years ago so I sometimes even forget that I have it. It's almost like having glasses, don't think about it often because it just is.

Wonderful news, The Wife got a clean bill of health, in other words no cancer. Glad we both don't have to make those kinds of future plans. Relief spelled with a capital R. It was really looking dismal.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, once upon a time, not to long ago, it was a dark and storming night and..... I came across a chicken about to cross the road, so I asked why. He said, "It's none of your business.". So I cooked him and ate him with a side order of fava beans. I passed on the wine and had a fine fruity kool-aide instead. For those not intuned with the national wildlife here in the States, every state has it's own state bird. Little known fact, Delaware's is the dead chicken along the side of the road. Don't believe me, take a trip down the Delmarva Peninsula and take a body count. Now as you travel this highway of your choice, you'll see a lot of bumper stickers saying "save the bay". What they mean is to keep the polution out. I have a better idea, "pave the bay". Just remember, you can only get the fresh oysters on months with an R in it. I spells it Relief they are just so good, but that isn't a month, that's a life time. The Wife and I had a good project there, we still think about it and we can both think and talk about it for a lot longer. Love is a terrible thing to waste.

But they did tell me at the end of the procedor that she is "loopey". Now I know what they ment and she knows what they ment. But damn, talk about a straight line from medical authorities? My god you might just as well have handed over the keys to the vault. She'll never hear the end of it.

Very happy for you and SwampBlossom, PP. Will you understand if I break into song? This is what came to mind when I read your jubilant post:

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Every fiddler he had a fiddle,
And a very fine fiddle had he;
Oh there's none so rare, as can compare
With King Cole and his fiddlers three.

Probable, possible, my black hen
She lays eggs in the relative when
She doesn't lay eggs in the positive now
Because she's unable to postulate how.

Excellent news, Postie. Oh, and you've switched to eating chicken, then? Does this means you've given up on dogs?

Very twisted nursery rhyme, this:

Sing the past to me
'Cause I'm the one who wrote the song,
I made the words up next week
So they'll come out all wrong.
The past won't keep you warm tonight,
The future is blown to bits,
And everything you believe in is really full of.....

@sinsboldly: seeing that richardbenson only came out with these remarks yesterday, I don't think it was the alcohol talkin'. Yes, coming off an addiction is hard, I get that. But that was just plain bloody rude. I'm lucky enough not to be too invested in my outward appearance (oh, SHUT UP! ) but for any woman reading that comment, if she were feeling fragile and vulnerable, or had a poor self-concept, or were trying to work up her courage to enter the "meat market" in the hope of finding a partner - well, that'd make her feel quite low, wouldn't it?

@blessedmom: I will pass along your good wishes to Xan, and many thanks!

These are some of the twisted "rythmns" of my grade school years......

It's raining it's pouring
the old man is snoring
He bumped his head
peed in the bed
and drank it in the morning
(How did he do that,pee in a cup in bed?)


Whistle while you work
Hitler is a jerk
Musaline bit his weeny
now it will not work(or squirt)


Good night
dont let the bed bugs bite
and if they do
take off you shoe
and beat them 'til
there black and blue
(This had me laughing hysterically at a sleep over in 2nd grade
I couldnt figure out why someone was wearing shoes in bed,though???)




The baby robin is alive
baby is adorbable
aspie kids are doing wonderful in school
blessedmom is going to inspire a new generation of kids in her care
swampbloosum is loopy but no cancer
Postie is in fine form is his chicken rambelings
Robyn is recovering from her flu
Produce is peeled and canned

All seems well in the cafe until the dark "specture" approaches,lurching towards babylon seeking solice and drawn by the aroma of warm zuccini bread......


Sorry to come here again to purge but incountered another situation that has me "obsessed" and thought sharing might clear the noggin.

I was driving to work last night and saw cars breaking in front of me....it was a herd of geese tryng to cross a 55mph highway.The car in front "breaked" briefly and then continued to hit a goose and drove on.I was driving at a crawl and stopped my car,put on my hazard lights and ran to the goose.It's neck had been run over and it wasnt moving but its body was very warm as I picked it up and carried it to the side of the road.There was a goose there,crying it's head off.(I assume a mate).There was a nother goose on the other side of the meridian hovering over another hurt goose that was on the side of the road and out of traffic.......Mean while,a car put on it's breaks and swirved into the next lane and stopped....He said."Lady,I almost hit you,get out of the road" another car slammed on it's breaks and stopped right behind me.I jumped back into my car and went to work.I was shaking and could not ge the fel of those warm feathers off my hands.I felt the tears and feel them now.
I was shaking from anger that people did not stop in time and hit the birds....They are large and loud,how could they not see them...the sun had not gone down all the way,it was dusk.I was mad and sad.Such a pointless slaughter of innocents.I could hear the mates of the injured birds squawking the fear and rage......I was angry at the victems....."God gave you wings for a reason,fly dammit".

I got to work and tried to contact the local wildlife agency but it was 9pm on Sunday night.Not a good night to be a wounded bird on a busy highway.I left a message with directions of the injured bird but dont know if they received it.They were gone when I went by in the morning.It was not until later that night,as I was cleaning that it occured to me in detail what my body would have looked like if those two cars behind me had not swirved around me or breaked.I had put on my hazard lights,(There was no "sides" on the road,so I was in a lane,)and I thought that "protected me",gave me immunity from being hit.I wasnt trying to be "brave",had I been able to invission my body broken by a car,I probably would not have stopped and rationalized the death of the bird as part of natures cycle.

The End


I wont be on much for a few days.I am putting myself on WP probation(I am grounded... ) until I clean the house.

That was a very terrible and sad story, krex. I can picture it in my mind and hear the geese crying. Bless you for caring and feeling so deeply for creatures.

Chop Chop. Get your house cleaned. I should take my own advice.