The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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This was in my pre-aspie days! I'm learning to disregard the body, become still inside and listen carefully as one particular boy flails around me.

I wasn't even thining when i posted that comment

...er thinking. I am trying at thinning!

For a lighthearted read on the subject of sussing out falsehoods, I recommend The Truth About Lies by Andy Shea (a former London police officer) and Steve Van Aperen (an FBI-trained polygraph examiner).

From the Sydney Morning Herald online book review:

http://producten.hema.nl/

I think Merle beat a lie detector test one time. Pretty sure she posted it someplace on WP. Perhaps she will enlighten us on the methodology.

Wouldn't it be great to have your very own lie detector? I could hook myself up and find out inner truths.

Did you take your pill last night?
Yes. [BEEP!! BEEP! BEEP!! BEEP!] I did so.
Did not. The machine knows.
Does not, only The Shadow* knows.


*American idiom: "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!"

I had to find out, didn't I...

http://www.spam-uk.com/info/info_i.asp

then Products, and the standard can.

double postie

Congratulations on the job Lemon...I must have missed a page though...what are you going to be doing?


Lying...I find this a really interesting topic. I followed a thread here about it and there seemed to be some aspies that could lie and others not...so not sure if it really is a "trait",though I thought I had read that it was, I have read a lot of misinformation about AS,so...hummmm.

Personally, I think this is one of the most disabling aspects of functioning in society for me. I can't seem to tell when people are lying. Unless I see concrete differences in their behavior and what they say they are doing or believe...I always think they are telling the truth. Sometimes it even takes several such occurrences for me to believe they are lying. Even if I can understand "why" people do it, it just seems do bizarre from a "gut feeling" to me. Maybe that is one example of my "lack of theory of mind" I will actually concede to being real for me.


Since I was a really young child, I recall so many times when I was accused of lying when I was telling the truth, this hasn't improved as I've gotten older and causes the most problems for me at work. Yet, I can say things "in-jest" that people totally seem to believe...I think, because I say them with a "straight face"? I have ben trying to figure this out, since learning about AS. I am wondering now, if this is because of a cognitive glitch in my responses to people.

EX. A manager will ask me a question about something in the past (5 min or 5 days,doesn't seem to matter). First there are the usual sensory difficulties...other people talking, I am currently engaged in a task that has my full attention,etc. Then I have to do the normal processing of...what did they say...(people are not very precise in their use of words.) I may have to ask them to repeat themselves several times before I actually understand "what" they are asking me. Having them rephrase the question before it takes on some semblance of logical question. Then I have to try and process their tone of voice...are they really asking a question, making an assumption or accusing me of something they believe to be true...and why do they think that information is correct.

Once all that is worked out...I have to try and remember. I store information a bit differently the other people, so that can be a problem. Mean while...they are waiting and probably "interpreting my nonverbal information"...which I have no clue about. Once they have adequately misunderstood everything I have said, I have to figure out what they "thought" I was saying,so I can clarify it.


I do lie by omission occasionally, when I feel it is morally justified(even if I'm wrong or deluding myself). Like when I didn't ell my parents I was sneaking out of the house to meet the boyfriend they forbid me to see because (they said),his parents were divorced and he lived in the bad part of time(ie was poor). Even that is not easy but...I do it.


I may also lie if I am getting in trouble for something I did that I think was the "right action". This happens all the time. Like when I give a dog some of the "good" left over pet food of a dog that has left because they are not eating the crappy stuff that we offer for free(and most of them hate). I think I maybe a socialist. I know that this is against the rules because...what if they have an allergic reaction to it...we could get sued. I also let the cats out of their kennels (in a locked room, one at a time) so they can get some exercise...while I am doing my cleaning because I know they are ignored in the day time and get stuck in those little cages. I know they could get hurt, unlikely but less safe then keeping them locked up all the time....(I am a lawsuit waiting to happen.) I do try and bring these issues up and ask for suggestions of a better way to do something that doesn't break the rules but is more considerate for the animals(or the disabled guys I use to work with)but they just get mad at me...so I do it my way and "hope" nothing bad happens because of my decisions.


Anyone relate? Is it aspie not to lie and have trouble believing others are lying? Have you found ways around lying while maintaining your own sense of how the world "should be"?

I believe anything I'm told still too Krex. Don't feel alone. I think its partly because I can't understand why someone would want to lie in the first place. Especially to me, I'm no threat to anyone. But I have learned over the years to keep in mind some of the best advice Ive ever gotten from a friend of mine in California would really did care about me. Her words still echo in my mind.
"Don't believe everyone's as honest as you are Taylor....cause they're not!"
Shes who taught me that some people will lie for absolutely no reason other than it sounds good to them.
And I guess somewhere deep down inside me...I still want to believe that the majority of humans are good and decent. (no matter how many times I'v been screwed over,)
However I can lie to authority and keep my story perfectly straight with a poker face and get away with it.I can also lie plausibly, and with a straight face if its going to protect me and also for "shock value." I faked out a whole race-track into thinking I was deaf one time just so I didnt have to engage with other people.
Iv read books on body language interpretation, ("picked the brains" of two cops also)and know what they look for, amd am able to consciously affect those tell-tale signs by constant monitoring of my every action.
When I lie to authority I almost feel as if I'm at a hugely heightened sense of awareness, I think maybe its because I always knew I was up against a "worthy adversary" They knew what to look for so I had to be extra-careful.
However, if someone who is not in a position of authority asks me a direct question, I will answer without any hesitation the truth, pure, plain, and simple without a second thought.