The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I remember that, feeling like a god. I made the connection between alcohol and the most out of control times/spirits fairly easily though. It was the much longer term one between fundamental manic-depressive tendencies and wheat, dairy and sugar that I didn't spot and which was such a shock to discover.

I had an uncle who reached the point (after he retired) of finishing off a fifth of bourbon before dinnertime. My aunt finally moved them to a cabin out in the woods in Washington, and wouldn't even install a telephone line until he dried out. He's feeling much better now...

I also have the example of my older brother (not the cop, the other one), who is incapable of relaxing unless he has a few beers. Not a beer - a minimum of three per evening. If denied that, he gets quite cranky and unpleasant.

Given these examples, I've avoided gaining the habit myself (and tried to stay away from other addictions as well, although caffeine has its hooks deep in me). I don't use the Net as an addiction - I use it as a stim, to calm myself when I'm roiled, and as part of the daily routine (I cycle through about five sites on a regular basis, and read six webcomics whenever I remember). I mean, it's bad enough that I have to hand over some control of my life to society, in order to live in it - I'm not about to give more control over to a batch of recreational chemicals, especially chemicals that don't have my best interests at heart.

! !!

I was sober for 12 years before I realized/diagnosed/found out that I was 320 lbs and pasty white because I had hypothyroidism and didn't know I had a medical condition for like, decades. It was only 14 years later I accidentally found out I was neurologically different from the people around me, as well.
all shocks, like a metor fall in your back yard must be a shock.

Merle

I think I've lined up the band for our thousand-page party!

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=l1hqF9nqabQ&feature=related[/youtube]

One of the interesting things about alcohol to me is that I think it made more more NT. NOt just when I was actually drinking,(I often only got drunk on the weekends or went on an occassional few week bender). I think it surpressed the child I used to be...

I had more need to be around people
I had obsessive interests but they were darker...suicide,sex,darker side of humans
I was more interested in how humans "worked"
I didn't "stim" as much (except dancing,drinking,smoking,sex compulssive reading...all NT exceptable stims)


Within the first two years of sobriety, I returned to my childhood interests...biking,rocks, making stuff. I became more detached and uninterested in humans in general and although lonely...realized that being with people didn't make me feel less lonely but MORE lonely. I still tried to be around people because my counclers and AA said it was inparitive to my mental health and avoiding it was causing my depression. It took me quit a while to realize that the opposite was true for me. I was more depressed when I forced myself to socialize instead of spending my time in my interests. That is why I am convinced that most concepts of "healthy human psychology" is based on an NT model that does not take AS mind into account.


Morning After....Not taking a drop of alcohol is not proof that you are not an alcoholic any more then not eating shrimp means you are not alergic to sheel fish. Until you do it....you never know. I was never going to drink because it was against my religion and no one in my adopted family drank. I had seen drunk people and thought they were stuipider then usual, so why would I do that to myself? When my parents kicked me out I was very angry at them and (using 16 year old logic) decided if they were going to reject me, I would reject everything they stood for. I drank out of anger and lonliness and found that it allowed me to be around people and feel less detached from them...that is powerful medicine. I did not becme an alcoholic, I was born an alcoholic. I think it almost killed me but I also wonder if it didn't also keep me alive. It was the only thing that connected me at all to any humans, the only time people let me in. Had I not had that minnimal connection, I don't think anything would have kept me anchored to this world until I could mature enough to make my own reason to be here.

Hello all!

DeaconBlue I was about to send a search party out. The musicians you've chosen for the party -incredible..but dangerous. Too many of our members will be transfixed and forget small talk!

I was going to keep to myself this week in the hopes that i would get over something sooner if I just hung out by myself. I don't think that's going to work and because I have talked about my border collie, Pongo, from the time I started here I wanted to share the last chapter in my life with him.

Pongo was rescued from an abusive situation when he was 10 weeks old. Because of that, he had serious issues with anxiety and submissiveness. When I first got him there were a couple occasions were he bit (pinched more like it) my kids with his teeth for no apparent reason, but over time he got a little better. For some reason, however, that pinching turned into skin-breaking biting over the past few months. As he got more confidence, he became more aggressive. When my ex left, he became calmer and I thought that with the stress of someone treating him badly gone from his life he may have gotten over the biting.

When I took the two dogs to the veterinarian yesterday for their annual check-up, Pongo attacked the vet, biting him in the face and just missing his eye. The vet had simply reached out to stroke his back. The bite marks were deep. Seeing as how it was the first time Pongo had bit an adult, the severity of the bite and the fact that he never gives warning before he bites which makes him dangerous, I had a very hard decision that I had to make.

After much deliberation and a whole lot of tears, I had Pongo euthanized this morning. No amount of affection, training, or hoping for a miracle could fix him and I would have been devastated if he had maimed, disabled or killed a person. I never want to have to make a decision like that again. If he had been ill, or an all-round nasty dog it would have been easier.

So, if I am quieter or more serious than usual, that would be why. I will miss that pain in my butt.

Blessedmom: My thoughts are with you, your family and with Pongo at this trying time.

Poor Pongo. He must have been through hell before he came to you. You did all you could, though - once those instincts have been triggered, there's not much that can be done. Will you be okay now?

Our dog would appear to have fallen victim to a group of thieves (several shih tzus in this area have disappeared), but when H took the box of dog biscuits over to a friend's house for his dog, she came back with a little black kitten we've named Shoushi (Midnight). Hoshi, our other cat, has decided that this is her kitten, and is being a good cat-mother for her.

Lauri, I wondered what was up when I saw your new avatar. My sympathies. May light and colour return for you soon.

Lauri. You did what you could. Unfortunately, those early weeks are really crucial. If a dog hasn't been properly socialised during that period, it's highly unlikely you can ever undo the damage. You gave Pongo at least some good life. The rest had already been stolen.

Deacon...I hope your dog returns. Don't give up yet. I had a cat find me across town once, after I had given him to someone to take care of while I was homeless.

Lauri...that is painful. Not just to lose a friend but to be the one who has to make the decision of what is best for all. I used to watch Animal cop show and they would work fr months with some animals but never regain the trust or over-ride that fear. To abuse an animal you must be insane. Just being in that environment must be so confusing to an animal whose instinct is to be a part of a pack and then to not know who the enemy or the friend is...very painful to be in that much fear your whole life.(Like kids abused by their parents).

I had hoped that your puppy would have returned after having a quick trek around the neighborhood. Why would anyone want to steal a family pet? That is something I have never understood. My faith in humanity is hovering around zero at the moment. I'll bet the kitten is adorable.

I think given a few days we will be okay but I am slightly worried about the two teen Aspies. My oldest son knows exactly what happened because he was with me yesterday at the vet. He is currently very quiet. I have suffered the wrath of my youngest son since he got out of school this afternoon. My younger children have been told that Pongo has gone to live in the country where there are less people for him to bite. And he can dig all the holes he wants. My youngest son sees only that his buddy is gone, not the reason behind it. He figures if we got rid of Pongo, we should get rid of Jedi, as well, because he doesn't like him. I'm hoping that within the next couple days I will be able to get him to see the situation rationally.

Krex, that fear is something that never leaves, as Lau said. When I got Pongo he had previously had his front legs broken and not repaired properly. He had worms so bad that the de-worming made him sick and he had to be on antibiotics. I never could get him to eat his food in the house or play wrestle with anyone. I couldn't re-build his trust in people to that level. That always made me sad.

Lori, that broke my heart to read that you had to put your dog down. But you certainly did the right thing. It's a good thing he didn't get to bite one of your kids in the face!

I had a friend who owned a black lab, which had been horribly abused. She would invite me over for dinner, but since they had to keep the dog in a cage in the kitchen, the racket of his barking drove me insane. Yet, I could detect the fear in his barks; because I was a stranger, and he felt threatened. At some point, my friend's husband would let the dog out of the cage, and he would lay on the floor at the husbands feet, and be petted. I just had to make no sudden moves. It was always stressful for me. I would be torn between empathizing with this dog's fear and past trauma, and my Aspie symptoms threatening to bring on a meltdown. Needless to say, I only visited rarely.