The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I love reading your posts, you crusty old man, PP. You always have another slant on things and you (usually) make sense.

Saves me having to think too.

Made sense to me Postie....but rambeling is my native language,so...


CC death is an interesting topic to me. I think it is the only thing that causes some people to see beyond the trivia that clouds our lives and get down to the bones of what matters....like an Xray? What does your friend think about death ? Is she frightened of the unknown, excited for the journey, sad to be losing her current connection to the people/things/self, she loves? (Just wondering because those are the things that I think about). I can understand the grief of the people that the dying leave behind because I have felt Buddha leaving me like a part of my body was being ripped from me...it hurt physicaly. BUt my whole life I have had people leave me and death doesn't seem that different to me...they were dead to my life.

I am just constantly amazed by people who hang on to life, who fight for it to continue even when they are in constant pain. Maybe I will do the same (maybe I did, even during the suicide attempts?) What is that life force? Right now I think....if one more thing gets piled onto me....I am going to have to leave this life. The balance of pain and pleasure are just to out of balance. How do people keep going through all that pain? I stay here out of guilt at abandoning my cats and BF....if they are gone, I wonder if I will find some other reason to stay?

I hope this isn't the wrong place to ask these questions. I'm not asking for any hugs or attention. Your friend just brought up some questions I havven't thought to much about in awhile.(My mother and sister are also in a great deal of pain and hanging on by there fingernails and my half sister who had such a hard life I can't even imagine spending 10 years like that..just died.)So now I am thinking...how do people do it? How do THEY keep living through the pain?

Yes, sometimes seeing a face, whether human or animated, makes me uncomfortable, and I want to scroll past it.

Good topic, Krex. I often ask myself why I stay. I have had well meaning people say all sorts of things when the pain of living gets intense. Some of them were definitely the wrong thing to say, such as asking me to think of "so and so" or my pet, etc. For my particular set of troubles, the ones that I find most challenging are managing to stay motivated with this chronic illness that I have. And like you said, I am not asking for hugs or attention. I just wanted to point out that for me, quality of life is definitely missing. This is what makes me question the validity of going on. And like you, I do think of the people it would hurt most, like my daughter and my cat. That is why I hate it when people tell me to think of them, as if I had totally forgotten them. But the more limited my life gets, the more I would like to shed it like a snake skin.

krex & Hartz,
I don't have any easy answers. I understand that you are not looking for attention or pity. I also understand that above all, the will to live has to be rooted in the self, in love for the self, in love of life its self. However, having people, children, pets dependent on you, and having a desire not to cause suffering of those we love, (which taking one's life would do), is the single most powerful factor in preventing suicide or for ruling it out as an option. That doesn't solve the problem of lack of will or desire to live in spite of one's troubles and pain, but with that option out of the way, one can at least focus on more positive ways to reduce or put an end to the pain and troubles that are pulling you down into despair. It's very hard work, but with practice and determination it can be achieved. By it, I mean the departure from self-hatred and the arrival to self-love. Speaking in a completely personal way, I find it helpful to think of myself as a child, to realize that that child is still alive in me, and wanting more than anything to protect and love myself as that child. I think all healing takes place in the psyche when it is directed towards the inner child and with the desire to reach, love and heal that child . The adult protects and loves the child, the child once healed then passes that healing on to the adult. Each loves, protects and heals the other. Do everything in your power to make your inner child happy and safe, in return, your inner child will do everything in its power to make you happy and safe.

!!LOL!! ! I have to run my cursor over each one just to figure out what the facial expression means. some of them, if they flash, I have to cover over if I want to read the post.

Merle

to just drop my body like a soiled garment, and beam on into the next dimension! Me? I eat anything I want and walk when I want to. I have often thought that a dire fatal disease would be a relief. my cat goes back to the same wonderful shelter I got him from and No moaning of the bar when I put out to sea, let me tell you, give me a bon voyage party, I am ready to shove off!

Merle

I just did a search on WP and didn't find one thread that had to do with getting their motorcycle endorsement on their driver's license. hummm Iwonder why that is?. . .I must admit, the shifting the cluching, the choking the rolling on and off. . .

whew! sounds really involved.

I'll let you know how it goes

Merle

reading and lurking. ( No Smiley!)
Know nothing of alcoholism except I left my ex-husband because he was one. I had decided years before that No one would EVER hit me again, and being drunk wasn't enough to justify it in my mind.
As for deathI'v found out enough out about it recently to not want to talk about it.

Wow! Just spent the day with SleepyDragon, her 2 sons and her Mum + NannaRob (my Mum) and Dad. My husband hung around for a couple of hours then 'escaped' .... of to golf with her friends.

My sons LOVED SleepyDragon and her boys. They've asked me 22 times when we are going to see them again and can we go to their house (it's only been 2 hours since they left).

SleepyDragon is fabulous! Her boys are fabulous!

Helen

since i'm bad with words so often, it's for me the only way to 'be' here in some way, i'm visual, and even when not great with facial expressions in real life (though i do copy them automatically, even when not needed, we talked about that earlier, like copying the smile of a bully) i use the smileys all the time.

the smileys are pretty clear i think, as merle says it is even displayed what they mean when you roll over them (wouldn't that be great in real life ! !)

so if i'd not use them, i'd hardly be here, or i would but no one would know

My boys and my mother and I had a tremendous time at Helen's place! So awesome to meet Smelena, AussieBoy and UbbyUbbyUbby in person (and Liam and Mr. Cool as well). And it did my heart good to see Robyn & Jim again. Already looking forward to next time!

You should be in bed, Sleepy. As I should be. We had a lovely day.

Just started reading this thread. Very interesting, over 40 +++. Now I am over 60. Yes, things have spun out of control here in the USA. I have been hanging on by my fingernails financially (like many people) and the price of fuel has sent everything out of sight. I cannot afford rent, food or transportation. It is difficult enough when you get old, but to be priced out of existence is sort of silly. I have my gun ready, my insurance policy to get out of pain. I just have to find a safe place for my two dogs. Fortunately, our humane society will take them in.

I have a dear friend in the US who survives with financial help from his family and a food parcel from a friend once a month. Now he is older, he has health bills all the time. The phone has been cut off because he couldn't afford to pay the bill. Yes, sounds bad for some people.

It has become intolerable for many people here. The social services "safety net" has been financially gutted by the Iraq War. Bush's plan to help poor and disabled is to hand them a glossy pamphlet telling them they should help themselves. Good advice if you are not unhealthy. USA has hatred for poor and disabled. I wish they would give us a place to go and die safely.