The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I can relate, but you won't find me living in the desert (not voluntarily, anyway) anytime soon. Toooo freaking hot! (Already spent too many years there!) I was off-the-charts brilliant in the tests in high school, but had no direction whatsoever. Given that the culture where I was indicated that I would end up "just getting married and wasting a college education" I never really got any mentoring at all. Nobody ever really asked what I liked, or checked to see what I'd be good at. I certainly had no idea how to figure that all out. There were almost 1,000 kids in my high school graduating class and they just shuffled us through like the machine that it was. Having someone who knew the ropes sit down with me now and then to talk things over would have really helped, I think, because I had nothing - I had no clue what to do other than get up and go through the motions at school every day. No clue about the future and none was supplied by anyone around me. Literally.

I would love to live high up on the side of a mountain, somewhere, in among the trees. Where all I did every day was like take scientific measurements or look after livestock or watch for fires. It wouldn't bother me at all if they had to drop in my supplies by helicopter, or if I had to go into town once a month to stock up and never had to interact with another living person in person at any other time. But those jobs are few and very far between and I'm within shouting distance (or at least it's on the horizon) of retirement age, so that option is highly unlikely for me now. Too bad, I would have made an excellent fire-watcher. Or librarian. But it's too late now. Have to muddle through with what I've got and am thankful I have it, at least, after all this time. I'm tired of fighting it out. I'm just tired.

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On the how to deal with obsessions and daily things. The obsessions have to wait. The things that HAVE to be done, working to pay the bills and looking after the animals, HAS to come first. I had to just pick something that would allow me to earn enough money. Liking it was not an option, it was all about the bottom line, the $$$ I can bring in. It's never been about "what I like" it's always about "what can I possibly do to earn enough." The obsessions have to wait for when there's time for them, otherwise I'd be engrossed in them for 20 hours a day, every day. That's hard to do, to put them aside, but that's the only workable option I've found. I set aside time every week (I have that luxury now) when it's just "me" time and I can follow them as far as the clock allows. Then I have to put them back on the shelf until the next allocated time. It took a long time to learn how to master that, how to shelve stuff for weeks at a time, because there was no time.

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My turn to rant:

On the A/C front. It seemed so straight-forward. Go to Home Depot, pick one out, and pay for it. So off we went after work to Home Depot.

Home Depot had no models in stock that fit what we need (or the space in the wall). I asked if they could specifically order three different models (one of which appears on their web page), and got a lot of "huh? special order? You don't like what we have? How about one of these great portable, roll-away units?" When hit with a polite but firm, "NO", I got back "Have you tried Lowes' yet?" This was after explaining what I was doing and WHY what was in stock wouldn't work and after telling them that I'd hit Lowes, Walmart, Sears, Target, and Kmart already. They did not answer my question about special ordering the unit. As my "d'oh" tolerance limit was hit at that point, I came home and decided to deal with it another day when I might be able to find someone there with a functional brain cell.

On the Handyman:

I phoned this evening the wife of the Handyman - she books his appointments. I said [almost verbatim here]: "I have an existing through-the-wall A/C unit with sleeve in place. The sleeve is fine, what I need XXXX to do is come over and remove the existing A/C unit, leaving the sleeve in place. Then I need for him to put the new unit that I'll buy up in the sleeve because I cannot lift it. It will be a few inches smaller in all dimensions than the old unit, but I'm willing to deal with that - they have "universal trim kits" that are made to fill in the extra space. I'll install that myself, all I need is for XXXX to come take the old one out, discard it, and lift the new one into place because I cannot physically lift it myself. Can you give me an idea of if and when he might be able to do this, and what it would cost?"

I got back "Well, there'd be the stucco patch after we put in the new sleeve..." to which I said, "Why? He's not touching the existing sleeve, not replacing it, doing nothing to it. It's fine. He won't be disturbing the stucco."

I got back "Well, it has to be at the right angle or condensation will drip into the wall...." to which I said "It's fine. There's no condensation dripping into the wall now with the existing sleeve. Why would there be condensation from the new unit dripping into the wall if the sleeve is already properly installed?"

I got back "Well, if the angle of the sleeve wasn't right, the condensation will pool and drip into the wall. So he'll need to check that and if he has to put a new sleeve in he'll probably need to do some stucco work, too." [Excuse me here!? Am I missing something?] To which I said "He won't be doing stucco work. He won't be replacing the sleeve. All he has to do is take the guts of the old unit out of the wall and cart it away. Then put the new unit in place. That is all. I'll take it from that point."

To which I got a minute of silence, then "I'll have to ask him then how much he thinks it would be and if he can do it. It'll probably be about three weeks, though." I said I was fine with the timeline, if they could just get back to me quickly to confirm it so that I can get someone else in if XXXX can't fit us in, because it was a medical necessity and we needed it done before the real heat hit this summer.

Then I said "Shipping on these things is running anywhere from $100 to $200 if I have it delivered to my home. There is no charge for shipping if I have it delivered to the store and pick it up at the store. Since I cannot lift it, and I don't think it will fit in my car, would it be possible to pay XXXX to pick the unit up at the store if I've paid for it and have them have it ready at "will call" for him?"

To which I got "Gee, you know, with the price of gas and his time, he'd have to charge you for all that." To which I said "I know. That's why I asked if I could pay him to pick it up." I got back "It could be like $75? You wouldn't want to pay that much, would you really?"

So I said "Yes, I realize that it will take him about a half-hour to do this. But if they're going to charge me from $100 to $200 to ship it to my door, it's cheaper to have him pick it up." To which I got a "Huh, ... hey, yeah, you're right! Let me ask him. Have you looked at Home Depot?" [Home Depot charges about $150 to deliver. Not including installation, if I understood the droid this evening with whom I spoke. Who couldn't quite comprehend the concept of a special order.]

Now I'll be sitting, waiting for Mrs. XXXX to speak with Mr. XXXX to see if he wants the job, when he can do it, and how much he'll charge. I just want a yes/no, dollar amount, and time from them. Because if he can't do it, I need to find someone else. A "Yes" or a "No" would be a good start here, quickly (as in, not a call back in two weeks).


~Sigh~

So, given all the research over the last 48 hours, I've identified several units that would work that are 12000+ BTUs (one that's 15,000+BTUs and that would be perfect, I think) and that are small enough to fit into the existing sleeve and that are 220v units. Most have internal chassis that can be slipped out of their case so only the chassis will need to go into the wall sleeve. I have no idea about their reliability, as nobody I know seems to have much of an opinion on any of them one way or the other.

None, apparently, are stocked at any of the actual stores locally. A few can be shipped to either Home Depot (oh, god, no!), Walmart, or Target at no shipping charge. Others with good prices are online sales, but I'm leery of them because if there's something wrong with the unit I have to go through the hassle of shipping the damned thing back to them. Which, if I can't lift it, is really an issue. And because of like the $175 shipping charge and doing business with a vendor I know nothing about. If I order it and it doesn't work or isn't as advertised, I could get screwed and end up with five times the hassle this is already.

~Sigh~ again.

It doesn't seem like it should be this complicated. Find the unit. Buy the unit. Have the unit shipped in to a local pick-up point. Pay someone to pick up and deliver the unit. Pay someone to take the old one out and lift the new one in. Pay someone to haul the old one to the dump for recycling. This has already taken me about 20 hours' of work.

And now the geriatric cat has decided he needs company at 3 in the freaking morning when I have to get up for work in a couple of hours.

I am so freaking sick of dealing with people it's not EVEN funny.

And I'm gonna kill me a cat if he doesn't shut up with the incessant "meow, meow, meow" that he's doing if I do not have him on my lap and constantly pet him this morning.

Somebody just shoot me now? Before I go berserk the next time I have to speak to anyone at Home Depot or the cat hocks a hairball in my shoe or the kid wakes up and starts whining about how hard life is?

Congratulations on 5000 posts Merle!! !
I have truly enjoyed meeting you through your thoughts in your posts!

Krex - I hate to leave/set aside my art projects for the things I have to do for money in the real world - counting down for when I can just do art because of my love for doing it - without having to worry whether or not anybody would like it enough to buy it. I have always enjoyed just giving it away anyway. So I think I know how you feel. Wouldn't it be such a gift (although I understand that it would never happen) to be given a stipend (mine could be extremely small!! ! ) just to live on so that you could devote all of your time to art? *SIGH* Ah, well.

Nan - I'm sorry you do not have a male friend living nearby who would just do what you are needing for free. All you are needing is a little muscle and an hour of someone's time. If I lived closer I'd do it for you gratis. It's just a simple "lift and carry" job, with some minor leveling adjustments and then (OMG) a finishing plug-in. I betcha didn't anticipate needing Gov. Schwarzenegger's paperwork brigade to accomplish this feat. (Maybe you should just call him? I've worked out with him - he's strong enough for the job. ). Good luck! Hope you get a stress-free break soon!

Chuck
(Hi ev'r'body! Working too many hours lately. Will be back soon. Haven't had a chance to keep up with the cafe, but hope you are all well!)

Found out the young pharmacist I've been helping from Sakartvelo (Georgia) is not here alone, so now I am not so worried about her. I was afraid that she had come here all on her own. She speaks English better than the rest of her family, but is still working to 'polish it up'. Trying to learn Karteli ena, I can see how hard our language must have been for her to learn - the two are so very different from each other. She has done a terrific job! I intend on helping them out as best I can until they are settled in. I figure if they see that I am trying to meet them somewhere in the middle, they will feel more welcome. I have to admire her intelligence - knows 4 languages, and learned English here while going to pharmacy school. So far, I've learned their anbani (alphabet). And not well. I'm sure she's impressed. I hope at least I'm providing comic relief. I figure showing her my struggles with my ridiculous attempts at their words will make her feel better about her skill level speaking ours. She's working in a new country taking care of patients and dealing with the public. Thinking about doing the same thing in hers makes me want to go into "panic attack" mode.

AHAH!! !! !! I found one on Amazon.com with free shipping to our house, and Amazon promises that if it doesn't work the merch will take it back or Amazon will pay for it. I like that part. It even looks like there will be no serious adjustments made. Just a nice 12,000BTU Frigidaire with a "universal trim kit" included to make it look nice in "all standard through-the-wall" sleeves.

Yeah, Chuck. I appreciate the thought, though! Unfortunately, all the guys I know here are either wimpier/smaller than I am, or older than dirt and would kill themselves trying to lift 100lbs over their heads to put in the wall sleeve. Would be tough to drag their bodies outside to hide....Sarah has a couple of "larger" guy friends but they're off at college. If it was a "below the window" unit I could do it myself, with much effort and the proper application of levers. But it's not. It's up at the 6' level in the corner over the piano. As soon as I hear from Mr. XXXX I'll order the A/C. I may order it anyway, if I don't hear from him by tomorrow, and find someone else to get the old one out. We have to have this, and I'm afraid they'll sell out before I can get one bought at that price (which is damned good, by the way).

So complicated, for just a simple thing....

i knew it! i knew it. the feds have honked up my stimulus check. i go to their website, put in my info, the page is supposed to tell me where the stimulus payment is. it says it can't process me, that my info is a mistake. i checked my actual forms, input the info directly off them. there are no errors there.

so i call their phone number, get directed to another number, which directs me to another number. i call. it asks me to put in the same info. i do so. it tells me it cant' tell me anything about my payment.

so i've been on hold for 40 minutes listening to bad classical music, waiting at yet another phone number, to find out where the hell my check is. all the press and official releases said it was supposed to be in my bank account no later than today. but it ain't there. and the fact that the computer won't recognize my info leads me to believe something funky is going on.

not that i'm paranoid or anything.

[25 minutes on hold later: i paid taxes this year. even though they debited my bank account - which means they had my bank account number - they have no record of a bank account number to direct deposit the funds into. so i'll get a paper check, in a couple of weeks. theoretically. but she couldn't tell me for how much. of course. i bet it never comes.]

Nan, are you having that holiday you had planned? You surely deserve it.

i'm going to do a holiday anyway. screw it all. the week of june 9. the bosses said "hell yeah, go!"

i'm charging the a/c to my credit card. the hell with being frugal. i just ordered it off of amazon.com (Frigidaire FAH126R2T) which is to ship it directly to the house on May 8th. i'll sort out who pulls the old one out and lifts the new one in later. it can sit in the flipping box in the middle of the floor if it has to, until i can sort that out.

we're going to figure out how much we can spend tonight. southwest airlines has flights to SFO for $69 each way. or we could take the train up to eureka for not much more. i'm thinking the train would be a lot nicer, then some time at a b&b, even if only two days, maybe rent a car for a day or two and sight-see. i need trees, cold, no responsibilities, and food. not to mention real sleep.

we'll sort out the finances later.

ps the cat is sick, has to go in for tests tomorrow. thyroid is going out on the old girl. not to be confused with the senile, 19-in-june old male cat, who needs alzheimer's meds.

Chuck...I miss you and your insights and humor. I wish you could work fewer hours and be paid to come here and amuse me.


Nan......(((((hug))))) Hands Nan a plate to throw....


As a person with AS...I am willing to admit that sometimes my brain doesn't do what I ask it to. Multi-tasking,executive function are not to good but.....even with all that, there are so many times when I am talking to people and just get this blank look from them followed by them repeating something "wrong/backwards" that I thought I had so clearly stated.

It makes me ask (to self).....are the "ret*d" or am I insane? It's like I said the words and they heard the opposite. I think there must be some chronic learning disability that is so prevalent among NT's that it goes unnoticed by the "experts". Since this happens more often then not to me, when I try and communicate with people....it makes sense that I would question my own sanity or communication style...after all..."if enough people tell you that you have a tail, you might want to turn around and check"<----folk wisdom,(are these the same "folks" who use to burn whitchs? )


I still don't get it, but it is interesting(though very sad) to see that it happens to other people. It would seem to have something to do with a "logics" gap(their lack of any) and something to do with them not actually hearing the words I am saying because of an assumption they have stuck in their own heads. It's like I have to work to erase that picture before I can then draw another one. They also seem to have a very poor memory....like for something I just said 30 seconds ago, so I have to repeat it.

I avoid dealing with humans because it is soooo frustrating to break through this communication gap. I think it is also the reason that aspies spend so much time rehearsing conversations before they talk with people....not that it seems to help much.
My DR's appointment went so well because i did not say anything that would require her to think. I just said exactly what she wanted to hear..."everything is fine, please give me more meds". I guess the rule is...keep it simple? Don't question thier mis-information or preconceptions about what you need.

As far as government or it's affiliated agencies...That is one of my favorite conspiracy theories. The Republicans want to get rid of all government that involves taxs, so they make sure and create ineffecient systems to frustrate people enough so that they also hate such "services"....of course that doesn't hold up to Occums Razor(sp)...that would be...humans are just dumb.

Hoping for something in your life to go "right".You may have to squint your eyes to see when it does...they are usually really small things, like NOT spilling your coffee in your lap when you take a drink...don't forget to be greatful when this happens

lol...but it wasn't really hot/or your wearing dark clothes...sometimes you have to really stretch to make that lemonaid.

Glad to hear your doing the vacation, after all.

Just lurking and stimming...

ooooohhhh......eeeeeehhhhh.........ooooohhhhh.......eeeeehhhhh!! !! !! !.....

not to be confused with "oeee oh, oooooh hooo. oeeee oh, ooooh ho!"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR0H0cfr_TU[/youtube]

Nan, what part of town are you in? (PM if you're not comfortable with putting it on the forum.) I've still got a few connections down in SD, and I might be able to line you up a nice young man (probably in the Navy) to install the A/C, if Mr. Handyman doesn't want to. Best part is, the help I line up would probably do the job in exchange for a beer or something!