The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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No. Just click image. No print.

Last edited by lau on 17 May 2008, 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

• Karlson's Theorem of Snack Food Packages:
  For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING package of snack food.
• Karmageddon:
  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Katz' Law:
  Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
• Kaufman's First Law of Party Physics:
  Population density is inversely proportional to the square of the distance from the keg.
• Kaufman's Law:
  A policy is a restrictive document to prevent a recurrence of a single incident, in which that incident is never mentioned.
• Kennedy's Market Theorem:
  Given enough inside information and unlimited credit, you've got to go broke.
• Kent's Heuristic:
  Look for it first where you'd most like to find it.
• kern, v.:
  1. To pack type together as tightly as the kernels on an ear of corn. 2. In parts of Brooklyn and Queens, N.Y., a small, metal object used as part of the monetary system.
• kernel, n.:
  A part of an operating system that preserves the medieval traditions of sorcery and black art.
• Kettering's Observation:
  Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence.
• Kime's Law for the Reward of Meekness:
  Turning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks.
• kin, n.:
  An affliction of the blood.
• Kington's Law of Perforation:
  If a straight line of holes is made in a piece of paper, such as a sheet of stamps or a check, that line becomes the strongest part of the paper.
• Kinkler's First Law:
  Responsibility always exceeds authority.
• Kliban's First Law of Dining:
  Never eat anything bigger than your head.
• Knebel's Law:
  It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
• knowledge, n.:
  Things you believe.
• Kramer's Law:
  You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.

Keep in mind always the four constant Laws of Frisbee:

1. The most powerful force in the world is that of a disc straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this force is technically termed "car suck").
2. Never precede any maneuver by a comment more predictive than "Watch this!"
3. The probability of a Frisbee hitting something is directly proportional to the cost of hitting it. For instance, a Frisbee will always head directly towards a policeman or a little old lady rather than the beat up Chevy.
4. Your best throw happens when no one is watching; when the cute girl you've been trying to impress is watching, the Frisbee will invariably bounce out of your hand or hit you in the head and knock you silly.

Aha! How lovely. Nice to hear your voice.

Well, off to the party.

Wow lau, that's wonderful. Been a while.

*CanyonWind goes all aspie*

Always found it strange that Lear is considered the founder of the limerick as a popular verse form, but his limericks are really dumb, then the same guy could write something as utterly beautiful as The Dong, fusing the ridiculous with the depths of human emotion.

Shouldn't have got me started.

Yeats told the same story in The Song of Wandering Aengus. They were both Irish, and I'm sure Yeats was familiar with Lear, can't help but suspect a connection.

Aengus was an Irish mythological character, an immortal who fell in love with a human woman, lost track of her, and he's been wandering the world looking for her ever since.

Yeats turned a really cool trick. He made Aengus mortal, so while he's wandering around looking for her he's aging, pissing away a limited human lifespan. But he keeps looking anyway.

http://www.poetry-archive.com/y/the_son ... engus.html

Somebody with a little more sense wrote a parody:

I caught a mermaid in a net.
Her scales were slippery, she was wet.
I bore her home by neck and tail
And cut my hands on fin and scale.
I launched her in the downstairs tub
And hied me to the nearest pub.

When I came home quite late that night
The mermaid was nowhere in sight,
But water on the bedroom stair
Suggested she might be up there.

A moments thought, or thereabout
Concerning William Yeats, his trout,
And I took off and left my myth
Among things best not reckoned with.

the Song of the Dong with the Luminous Nose. . .
read by Lau.

Thank you Lau, I could not read it, but listening to it reached my consciousness.

Merle

Last edited by sinsboldly on 17 May 2008, 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No, the HEIGHT of lazy is the fact that you can, this very day, purchase a car stereo - with a remote control. You're sitting right there!! You can't even lean forward to reach the controls???

In re: Murphy's Law, never forget O'Toole's Commentary: "Murphy was an optimist."

Sort of like this?:

**********************************************************************************
Edward Lear is always a good source of material for posting bizarre stuff about other WP members...

Well. Lau . you have made it to my Favourites twice!! One is your web cam and now your voice reading The Dong. Bravo!

How are you, DeaconBlues? Are you still looking for new accommodation?

Lurking.

tell me you're kidding, please?

Last edited by Nan on 18 May 2008, 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm glad you got the A/C installed. As a person who cannot tolerate heat very well, I can truly rejoice for you!

It was lovely, thanks. Came home baked (in the most traditional sense of that term). Stood in the shower until I could think again and turned a more healthy color. Then plopped myself down in the living room under the a/c and stayed there for an hour's nap. Was lovely. Just lovely. (sigh)

nice lau ! (the poem)

That sounds like whatsisname ( neil?) in The Young Ones.

Where's the webcam nannarob was appreciating?