The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Oh, I do so feel your pain!! So far all Unnamed Deity's I've tried to contact have found great humor in a mother's plight.

I missed you blessedmom...how have you been dng? It has gone green here almost over night...hope you are enjoying the spring flowers too.


Boys in love....now,now...will have none of that sort of silliness. Sit them both down for an airing of Alian VS Preditar and when it is over say....."and that is what love is like"...at least you will be able to say "I told you so" someday...isn't that the last refuge of most mothers...(mine has finally gotten to hear it a few times)

Funny you should mention! We've got, in our video collection at home, four Alien movies and two Predator movies. For completeness' sake (I am an Aspie, after all!) we should get Alien vs. Predator as well.

... I just looked. We have it already.

A viewing of Casino Royale two days ago didn't dampen the ardour at all. I will try your suggestion, though.

Very glad to see you, Lauri! I just knew you'd understand.

Make a compilation of anti love songs, and play it constantly. Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know" will have to be the centre piece of the compilation. Any more suggestions?

Tired of shouting at my son's father. Tired of being irritated and hostile half the week. It's like eating something that I am allergic to; eating it again just as I am recovering from the last "irritation".

Sex with him was good the first 6 months or so, (the first time penetrative sex had ever been good, and that sex of any kind was good for more than a couple of weeks) .

Falling in love; used to do that constantly but it never ever translated into good sex. When I finally did have good sex ( the french father of my son) it was with someone who I felt embarrassed introducing to anyone that I knew ( outside of my family) .

Last edited by ouinon on 26 May 2008, 12:00 pm, edited 4 times in total.

Ouinon, your post reminds me of a funny experience I had with a group of elderly women who also happened to be relatives (aunts & cousins) on my mother's side. They are/were all very kind and sweet to me on my visit. They are mountain people of Dutch/German descent and very religious (Seventh Day Adventist) and very conservative and modest. One of my cousins confided to me especially, but loud enough for the group to overhear, that she hadn't slept well due to a terrible dream the previous night of being raped by a black man. I will never forget the looks on the faces of my cousin and the rest of the women when I said "Oh, really. Well you know what Freud would say about that dream, don't you? Our dreams are our wishes." Oy vey .

I just edited my post to try and make it a bit clearer, because I thought if it reminded you of a "funny experience" I can't have expressed myself very well.

Especially as I am thinking of leaving him and going back to England after 10 years in France because I am so tired of the situation.

Sorry if I seemed insensitive. The memory of my funny experience was prompted by your saying (roughly) originally that the only time you did have good sex was with a guy you were too embarrassed to bring home. I imagined some shaggy vagabond (am I digging myself an even deeper hole here? Probably, but I will go on til I reach China.? Why? [to quote Post Paleo on this Memorial Day] Because I can! ) that your family wouldn't accept as a suitable mate for you. Who can explain such connections? Mine jumped to that occasion with my relatives and the insular dying breed of old white girl mentality.

Break some dishes, maybe? Oui? Non?

Uh Oh, I just took a closer look at your emoticons and realize that you are in no mood for jokes or funny business. Sorry.

Not a shaggy vagabond; that would have been normal, and the kind I fell in love/was intense/stone-head friends with, but with whom sex was almost always washout. This guy, the french father, is travelling technical salesman, 10 years older than I am, met by me when hitchhiking and him in his big air conditioned car and suit and tie, with briefcases, and restaurants and hotels on expenses etc etc. Totally not cool.

Last edited by ouinon on 27 May 2008, 9:18 am, edited 2 times in total.

Ouinon....I don't have any good advice but I caan relate to sexual "issues" and I hope you find away to regain the independence that you had before the marriage. You sound like your moving in the right direction and I can't imagine a worse hell then having to reamin with someone I didn't love OR having to have sex with them. Not a good situation for you and probably costing you more then you even realize in "peace of mind" and "self".


Solent Green remake is on A and E tonight *pm central but probably will replay several times...I'm off to watch and digest my brats<---I think that can take a month or more....eeewww.

"Brats" as in "bratwurst"?

Here in Oz, back in the seventies, people used to call sausages "mystery bags" because anything — and I do mean anything — could, and did, get put into them.

I don't know - she said she was going to watch "Soylent Green" while the brats digested...

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

In between
What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine
Love is so confusing there's no peace of mind
If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good
You teasing like you do

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I'm the one you're using, please don't push me aside
We could've made it cruising, yeah

Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out as a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing only to find
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

I haven't had sex for over 6 years so that is sorted, from my perspective anyway. He misses it.

Feeling a bit calmer today, and somewhat shocked by state was in yesterday. Stress. Total stress over this inspection thing.

I don't know what's going to happen/what I'm going to do. Something, but maybe not as fast as thought yesterday.

Thanks for kind words.

Yes Brats mean bratwurst and it is one of those guilt foods I can only eat "cause it's a Holiday"...they were good. The movie is actually a two night deal....aaarrrrggg. It is nothing like the 70's? movie but I just found out it was written by Michel Crichton....so now I can go get the book which is probably better then either movie. No one has ever watched "Solient Green"?







Some one posted this in anther thread and I thought some of you might have missed it . I went to her web site because it sounded like she is singing about me and my first thought is...(why then, she must be an aspie too. )well, maybe not but I do like her voice.




.ferrononline.com/discography/lyrics/whitewingmercy.html

Ferron, White Wing Mercy

White wing mercy I don't want to stay here
White wing mercy don't you leave me here

It was passed among the rest of them
While playing cards and playing friends
That some of us are crazy
(With a voice that knew who)
I tied up all my laces
I covered up my faces
And staring in the mirror
I'd dare to wonder who

Was it my father with his hunting kit
Was it my mother with her hitting stick
Or was it my auntie who was always sick
Or was it me -- that was my biggest fear.
I wouldn't look at anybody in the eyes
I was afraid they'd realize
I was a crazy in a kid's disguise
And they wouldn't let me go to summer camp next year.

How they never gave my growth a rest
At my etiquette or at my breast
Humility the hidden test -- I played along
But going through my day-to-day
I felt sure there was another way
I was wondering the price I paid to belong.

I left my father as only daughters can
I chose to see him as a monster of a man
I left my mother in her frameless cage
But never could I shake her rage

Now you with your visions
And you with your fancies
And you with your stories
I couldn't understand
My childhood adored you
And naked before you
I stand as a witness as timeless as sand.

White wing mercy carry me away
I hear them singing clear from over here.
White wing mercy I don't want to stay here
White wing mercy Don't you leave me here.

I'm glad your feeling better. Isn't it weird how one anxiety can trigger anxieties that we have shoved into a closet with a note to self (some where.......where did I put that notebook with notes to self.....ohh here it is.....), dear self..."RUN"

I think that is alo what PMS really is....a chemical reaction that brings up all the things we try and bury and throws them under a magnifying glass......"Can you see me now!! !"...at least that is what my PMS is like.

So, has the inspection been sorted out then ?What kind of inspection was it ? I almost had a fit when we failed out apartment inspection and they told me I had to .......clean and orginize...(It's all literally shoved in a closet and the garage now).


It is better to be able to make plans in your own time and not rush into thiings without having some plans. I tend to not make a decission and then....jump, (now I walk lopsided ). I'm working on that though. Trying not to quit my job until I have one lined up. It is hard to be patient and have the energy to make changes when you are using all your energy just to survive the "present".