The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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If you're finding it isn't getting better, ask for help. Don't give up until you get it.

And believe me, it's possible to get to quite an advanced age, and still be wondering when the "adult" sensation is going to kick in.

*Nod* Surely.


Haha.

That makes me worry a bit less.
Even though I'm a worry wart by nature.

I fear responsibility.
Like a vampire fears sunlight.

ARGGH! NOOO!!

That kind of feeling.
I'm just sure i'm going to mess up on taxes or something.

No one ever tells a teenager what to expect at the fatal strike of the 18th birthday, you know?

Can you still be sued if your chronological age is 18 or over but your mental/emotional age is less than 18?

Hello and welcome Introspective Loser and The Chosen One (Hey, how can you be The Chosen One when I'm The Chosen One? Can there be Two Chosen Ones? Sounds like a mathematical equation. Richie? Lau? Sleepy D? I'm not good at maths.)

At any rate, prime rate will do, all of this talk of chronological age and mental age brings to mind BD's line, 'Ah, but I was so much older then I'm younger than that now.' which I so strongly identify with. I think it's one of the best perks of Asperger's. Reversing the order of things. Growing younger and wiser at the same time. Yeah, you tend to get creaky and sometimes crabby, but your mind is always up for a new challenge cause you're looking through the eyes of youth and regeneration. And when people throw stones at you, you don't have to throw them back, cause you're too busy groovin'.

My Back Pages (Bob Dylan)

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin' high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
"We'll meet on edges, soon," said I
Proud 'neath heated brow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Half-cracked prejudice leaped forth
"Rip down all hate," I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull, I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Girls' faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, thought, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

A self-ordained professor's tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
"Equality," I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My existence led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now.

Sue me.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAkKPPsfZH0[/youtube]

I feel old.

It's an early-summer day out there. The sun is shining, the birds are having branch-wars, and the kids are getting ready for final exams next week.

Someone got access to the chalk-line machine that they use to put lines on the soccer fields and has run amok with it all over campus - rather artistically done, but....

Before I had my first cup of coffee here, our student worker said "do you know what day today is?" and I thought, "Gee, someone remembers!" so I said "no, what?" and she said "National Donut Day - see, it's here in the newspaper". As it was. With a photo of a donut.

I was somewhat taken aback. I said "it's also something else day today". Co-worker said "the anniversary of prop 13, that relieves the tax burden on homeowners in California." Which is also true.

But I said, "Yeah, but it's also the anniversary of some other very important day" and they said "uh, gee, what? - "

And I said, "well, besides it being the 40th anniversary of the day Robert Kennedy died after being shot, it's D-Day".

And two of the people in the room (one of whom has a degree in Political Science), plus the student, said "What's that?" The student didn't know who Kennedy was. At least the PoliSci person knew he was "like that president's brother, right?" "D-Day" meant nothing to them. There was no flicker of ever having even heard of it on their faces.

And I feel very, very old. And sad.

Nan.......I had the same experience when I worked with teenagers who had never heard of the term Nazi and knew nothing of the death camps ...all I could think was.....

Those who don't remember the past are destined to repeat it. Watched a movie last night about the assassin of John Lenin and had a very disquieting thought...aspie or schizophrenic. Although, I don't want to hold such persons up as "role models", I don't think it would be bad to admit that there might be some aspies, who if not given proper direction in their obsessions and understanding for their neurological differences, could use them in destructive ways. Maybe he was just an attention hoar but it did make me curious about his childhood...may have to read up on it. I know the movie said his father was absent and emotionally unavailable and his mom was stuck being 20 year old mode.

I also watched a movie called "Mama's Boy" that presented the guy who was in Nepolion Dynamite" as having every exaggerated negative trait of AS that there is...from obsessions to pedantic speech to intense self centeredness. It was like a caricature of AS. It was pretty funny movie, even with all the stereotyping and they never mentioned AS...seemed to imply that his behavior was all because his mother was over protective and his father absent....and he was just a jerk by nature. I wonder what the long term effects will be of such examples of AS...without naming it and attributing it to something psychological, will do
to those "professionals" when DXing AS behavior.....well,as my psychologist was so fond of saying..."you think to much".

Good things can happen, too!

First good thing happened a couple of days ago. 'Gana saw an advertisement that had come in the mail, offering some sort of drawing if you bought the right brand of cigarettes. One of the items pictured as winnable was a guitar - which happens to be one of her perseverations. She brought the ad to me, and said, "Daddy, guitar! Play, strum? Careful, scissors!" (Which, of course, I translated easily as, "Daddy, could you please cut out this picture of a guitar so I can pretend to play it?") As I've said before, her communication skills are fine - it's not her fault when other people don't speak her language!

As for the other - you may remember we're trying to move out of here. We'd gone to look at a house for rent (and the realtor seemed really interested after we asked if the owner would mind our making improvements to the place - it needs a lot of gardening, and some new lighting fixtures), but we didn't like the look of it. So on the way home, we stopped by an apartment complex that we'd designated one of our fallback positions, just to see what the place looked like. The first good sign came when we got out of the car, and saw a young mother watching over her kids on the lawn. Said mother was wearing a hooded jacket with bones printed on it (ribcage, spine, and arm bones, all appropriately located). Then, when the agent on duty was taking us to look at a sample apartment, we mentioned that we'd prefer a ground-floor apartment because one of 'Gana's stims is jumping on a mattress. She said she understood, because her son is autistic. Then, after we'd been thoroughly impressed (it was a lot bigger that the floorplan made it look!), we returned to the office to discuss price - and when H mentioned that J was coming home from Iraq soon, the agent said that their complex participates in a plan with the Army base. They don't charge deposit or application fees, and the rent comes straight out of J's paycheck, half each payday. So H filled out the forms, and dropped them off on her way to work, along with a power of attorney J had given her when she had to arrange their proxy marriage in California last summer. She wasn't sure if they'd take it (another complex had denied it, because it didn't specifically mention rentals), but they said it was fine. They just need to process my form (which will be forthcoming tomorrow, as H had to get one for me, and take it to work with her), and receive just over $700 for prorated rent for the rest of the month, and we can move in on the 18th!! !

I'm am so happy for you! I am glad that you and your family can get out of that hell-hole where bullets go flying! It seemed that your path was liberally sprinkled with signs that it was the right place to move, too.

Yea Deacon. Such good news. It's about time, don't you think. Sounds like a great place for you and the family. Best wishes to you all.

Lurking, getting around to cleaning the house (we actually have guests this evening!), considering leaving the house on Sunday...