The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I don't think you found my real blog

Did you know these guys coming home have 2 years from discharge to report any problems?
2 years that's it. PTSD and some other things don't even show up till later a lot of times.
You think Walter reed has trouble?
They constantly f**k up, it's a mess.
I thought I had seen it all the in almost 15 years I've been going to the VA,
they never cease to amaze me what they can screw up next.
You can go long periods of time with no doctors at all available.
They are overloaded, have a waiting list now..the list goes on.
I asked another doc what was going on with the gas prices.
I'm not the only one that can only do so many visits over a given time.
Some can't get to the further places at all and he was disgusted.
I'm talking guys that are worse off then I am.

But, I will say one thing, when I'm at the main hospital
I never ever go by any staff that doesn't greet me with a smile.
A few exception but you know on their faces there's something important going on.
Yeaah I know they train people to do that, but this is the real deal.
Hell the wife and I were walking down the sidewalk and there was a guy mowing the lawn,
a maintenance guy, he smiled and waved from across the road.
Most really do care, it's the system that is still broken.
Walter Reed what a joke. That's just close to the newspapers and in Washington.

The old GI bill paid for itself many times over, many times.
You could go to school actually get through school and when you did you made more.
Your tax rate went up and they made it back with interest.
Free med, doctors, you could stay healthy and when you can you're more productive.
It is a social system and it worked. Meds are way cheaper too, they bargain the prices.
And when they see Wal- Mart going cheaper, they tell you.

As broken as it is, it could be fixed.
Just with the computer talent on this site alone,
it could be improved immensely.
Whom ever is the systems admin needs their ass hung.
You can't imagine how many times I've told them how to run their desk top computers.
"Oh, I didn't know that." Why the hell not? It's your job.
I don't say that really I just smile and know they'll be better at what they do.

Like to learn how to take out a tank with barbed wire? Doesn't even have to be barbed, but it helps.
You cut the oil seals behind the treads. Doesn't even have to be a tank, but it has to have oil seals.
The odds of getting it done? Humm I wouldn't want to wait around and watch. But I've seen it happen.

The only trouble is they have the better toys now.
You couldn't be more correct, 2nd Amendment is just that.
Part of it and a big part of it.

I often wonder if we aren't making the same mistake the Germans did on the Russian front.
They couldn't repair their equipment near the front.
They had to send it back to Germany.

Believe me I understand PTSD, that of the vet's (was part of the women's group at the Vet Center for a few years), and my own due to other things.

PM the real blog? I'm interested. If not wanting to share, I also understand

I also understand the VA is whacked. My father in law, before he passed was refused admittance to a VA nursing home suddenly, because they decided he wasn't a Vet, also suddenly. He had been in VA hospitals and nursing homes before this. He was a Vet. My mother-in-law (they were divorced) instead paid out of pocket for a nursing home til he died, which was less than a year at the end for him. My dad has shrapnel in his legs from Korea, his papers say his injuries aren't related to his service. Just gotta love it.

"Hello, Chuck? this is Nan. I have a fuzzy assed bird and thought of you, immediately!"


Merle

Oh I don't mind giving out the address for either of them, both are X rated, even though I detest the rating system itself I use it.
And another place is linked from my main as well. It's an uncensored playground I like to play at with mostly aspie's I guess.
But if I were to allow access from here for my main, even though I put a warning on it, if a kid were to see it it would be all the more reason to go in.
They would be disappointed. But it would freak out some that I would dare even bring up Lolita, which happens to be very well written and, well.. screw censors.
But here I don't like the rules, but attempt to live by them, if the kids are here, they need to be told the street part of it and to do it, well it isn't pretty.
I have no rules at either of my blogs and if you come after me that's part of it too and I encourage it. I think the family label here to be self defeating, but I understand it's intent.
I go from full play to as serious as I get about anything on the first, the second is play but those that comment
are mostly outcast from here and they speak the truth in their own language and language is free, what they talk about, well some is just plain fun,
some isn't and when it's described some one would want to throw an x rating on it, it isn't pretty, but I think and they think important to say in their own way.
So in that sense I'm careful who is allowed to be my friend on MySpazz, which I dislike for several reasons, but it's where they are.
It's blocked to public view, because once you're on my friends list you can see comments left by others. I respect their privacy.
I'm not hard to find for a link for my main if you know how to do a search, it's boring for the most part I just do it to write out my own things.
Sometimes I even try to write seriously, I still throw it up even when I'm cringing badly at it.
Sometimes just writing them out is enough to help see it better. A lot of recovery type things as I visit those places a lot.
I suppose I should go in my blog here and get a message up to just ask privately for the real ones.
But I can scald the hair off a monkey at 100 meters with my language.

The last time I was at the main VA center, I saw a raging case of PTSD in a young one.
He had taken "my" seat in the waiting room and that was the first tip off.
It's the safest chair in the room, and I know it is and I know why it is.
I'm not touchy feely, but I came damn close to just walking over and grabbing a hold of him.
I've not seen that full a blown case of it in action in a long long time.
He wasn't even in that room. But thank god he was in the right room.
A full blown stim? Rocking, hand wringing, no eye contact, his eyes covered by his hands,
the blank, concerned far away look on his face and yet it wasn't blank at all, the dark circles under his eyes.
I could go on, but I felt his pain, his anguish. Two f*****g years is all they give them and a waiting list now.
They come home toss a little confetti in the air, pat you on the back and sweep you under the rug.
A little anger? Nooooo, a lot. But that's my axe to grind and I do, count on it.
I will not sit idly by and watch it happen to them.

I don't know why my full records can't be found, lazy on their part, may have been the major fire they had, but they aren't there.
So it's hard to track back a lot of what went on for my days in.
Can't prove anything in other words.
Some of it was buddy's watching out for me, I fear.
Lol, we handled the records it was below officers work.
There was a staunch anti war movement even with in the Army.
But some major med records were lost and I don't think they could have gotten their mitts on them.
Oh they did it with my permission for some, they asked before they mysteriously disappeared.

Like to know the latest trick they pull?
Discharge you one day short of getting your full benefits.
You can't even get your education money back you put in.
My wife's kid smoked a joint, they discharged him one day short of full benifits.
He knew the rules and I suppose according to them he should have been let go.
But to purposely do it that way, is bull s**t.
He has one of the highest non combat medals you can get, it may be the highest.
He did, on his own time, how some the sensitive stuff is handled in Korea.
Probably use it for the rest now. They are not nice people.
And they seriously need a civilian to kick their asses.
Any group that inspects themselves when it comes to a wrong doing is corrupt.
The point is they do it a lot, one day short.
I insisted he get a congressman on it, he wouldn't, he just did not want to deal with them again.
They can snow you with so much red tape and paper work,
I don't even know why they need bullets to begin with.

You ever try and get disability for your fibro?
The wife did a long time ago.
Turned down, but they didn't even recognize it as a real thing back then.
But to have such a request go through the first time is rare.
Get a lawyer and they cost money.
The wife was shocked as hell when mine went through without a hitch.
But the last two were turned down and you did see the one discribed.
The second is where I found out what labels are on the official,
no one had bothered to tell me about the ADHD.
I thought it had been totally dismissed, it hasn't been brought up in years.
I'm beginning to wonder if this current ass hole has even read the records.
It's still wrong, but it's closer to the truth.
Nope not done with them yet, I earned it and I don't put up with their bull s**t.
I mean what are they going to do to me? Draft me? Oops, too late.

Damn that was long enough for a blog post.
I may. Just need to change a few words around here and there.
Toss in a few more cuss words in the right spots, fix any censorship and good to go.

Anyone can send a PM, if you dare.
I should have put a boring warning up, now that would really keep a kid out.
(And any smart adults, you have been warned. )

Yeah, prior to getting married I was on SSI. That ended 3 years ago when his income killed it, but I knew it would. Long story, but basically I gave up what I needed to have a stable family life outside of public housing with special needs kids. Quite the choice there huh?

I had a My Space a while ago, but killed it. Too much drama circulating, and I decided I didn't want anything to do with it.

The safe seat in the room, against a wall no doubt, and able to see everything coming at you, no surprises.

I have some internal battle scars as well, and they will always be there. It wasn't from your traditional war duty, but it was a war. At the end of it I was left with the Fibro, stress related of course, among other things. I've done my best to turn it all into positives. Perhaps I had to go through all of it and collect that experience to be of help to someone else, or to have that understanding. I know that empathically, I'm not available. But some concrete experience to draw on, yes I'm there. I have to think it was all for a reason or I'd go insane. What more I can do with it other than be understanding I don't know. I have and can impart advice to some. I know when not to for the most part. Sometimes I fail at that, but I have good intentions. If all I can do is what I can do, then it has to be enough. At least it's more than nothing.

I know that some need to be hit with the swing to get it. That's how I describe one who must experience things for themselves, rather than learn from other's experience or mistakes. One day at the playground, my son was running near the swingset. I told him not to, because he might be hit by the children swinging. He refused to listen. He of course got hit and knocked down, before he learned not to do it. It fits a lot of people and scenarios.

Today is the first day of the new job training for my son and my husband. I am praying this one works out. Next week my daughter begins high school. Parent orientation is Wednesday night. They want to wait at least two weeks before scheduling an IEP meeting. Preparing for battle even though it might not be necessary.

I recently "came out" to a support person working with my daughter. I told her recently I'm more like my daughter than not, which is why I can tune in to her so well. Immediately she wanted to know how I overcame, as though I'm cured myself! There didn't seem to be any question that I was being truthful. I doubt I'll share this with the rest of the team, unless I feel I need to. You never know how knowledge will be used.

oh hell. i think i just burned spike's mouth. i was trying to warm up his formula - it had been in the fridge up here at work and was ice-cold. so i put the syringe full in a cup of hot water. i took it out and tested it on my arm and it seemed ok, shook it up and retested. seemed warm, but not scalding. spike acted like i'd just poured acid down his throat. i hope i haven't scalded his crop. that would be a slow death.

Yup, you've been on the street.
I have to be hit with swing too, have to see for myself.
But you know that old street sense is very very wise.
You really don't know how the knowledge is used by others.
I play my cards close to my vest.
To the point I don't sometimes share what I should with whom I should.
It's like an auto defense anymore, hard to break it down, hard to get out of the habit, but
sometimes they need the swing shoved at their heads.
I don't play well with others and I like to run with scissors in my hand.

maybe something cool for a bit will help. Poor lil guy. You're a good mom Nan

swing held over head and bashed forward sometimes too

I don't often play well with others, though I can when I have the energy. I have less and less patience daily. I'm getting old ya know.

I would never run with scissors, but I ocassionally will walk fast with the stapler. I have a three hole punch and I know how to use it as well.

I swing a mean knitting needle. Don't even get me started on crochet hooks.

Doooon't even get me near a paper punch.
Those things can be addicting you know.

I have huge respect for a woman that knows how to use the dreaded craft supply store.
SwampBlossom is lethal with those things you have described.
She says she has finally found her calling, quilting.
Now I live in mortal fear of being suffocated in my sleep.

I have not one, but TWO sewing machines!

Oh and I have my teensy sharp scissors for Scherenchnitte as well. Go ahead, look it up, you know you want to

Yeah I had to look it up.The Blossom doesn't do it.
I have seen it before but didn't know it's name.
I like it.

There is another form?
Something about doing needlework and the paper cuts fit into it?
I guess that's about the best I can word it.

And she doesn't have those scissors, but I would hazard a guess she may soon.
They don't sound lethal, but I bet she could poke my eye out.

Ooh! What a neat word, Scherenchnitte , I think I'll keep it handy for the various word games we have in the Off the wall forum...

Lurking. Not getting topic notifications.

I SENT THIS AS A PM, THEN REALIZED YOU WOULDN'T GET THAT NOTICE EITHER!

the web nerds wanted me to ask you if you could look in your profile and see what the email address shows? And then could you go into your 'edit profile' to "Always notify me of replies:and see if 'yes' is chosen, as well as Notify on new Private Message by Email:

if these things are still marked yes, could you mark them NO and then submit changes, then go back in and mark them YES and then submit changes again.

then PM me back with the results (post a 'lurk' in the Cafe if you like;) and send me a PM what the results are. If we need to do more , we will!

good luck, and get back to me,
Merle