The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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WHAT ads????

this is the adv below every thread I have seen for almost a month. . .personally I don't care for EITHER the before or the after.

Merle
(who doesn't use the ad block software so she can see what the regular mbr might see on WP.)

Bellyfleshgirl is way more annoying than the Latter Day Saints ads or that gyrating dancer silhouette.

Z

There are some things that people just DO NOT need to see regardless. Eewwwwwwww! That ad is also on a few other sites I've been to.

I won't repost the disturbing image, but I have to disagree, Merle. The stretch marks are iin exactly the same position.

What you aren't seeing it the giant crocodile clip she is wearing, in the "after" picture, round on her left side. It is dragging 50% of her midriff around there, out of sight.

What appears to be her navel is what took her a months to do, as it is a tattoo, and she hadn't done any self-tattooing before.

(smacks forehead) Silly me! Chuck! do you sell those giant crocodile clips in the diet aids asile at your drugstore, and those henna mendhi kits for home tattoos? I want to skip the diet and exercise and go straight for the svelte figure!

Merle

Yep. We gots 'em. Maneuvering them into position and wearing them is a bit ...erm, unwieldy:

This is our Tennessee AlligatorTM model (known as a "gar" to outsiders).
For use while swimming only, as they do not breathe air:


The SnapperTM can be used while
swimming and/or while on land,
and will likely never unlatch.
A more versatile possibly permanent solution...:


...while "problem areas" can be diminished by "Big Al" TM.

Note: some of our helpful "clips" have escaped the stores.
Word to the wise, take a look before opening your door.
Be svelte only in ways you've pre-planned!! !

The home tatoos - we sell them, but as
their name suggests -you will have to apply
them yourself. Tatoo artists seem to be reluctant
to assist clients who wear our clips.

My sister knows, because that was her own birth year (along with Oscar Wilde).
Here are some photos taken of her over the years:


you can get her to sit still if you play music that she enjoys:

this is a picture of us, the last time we traveled together:

You can't see the ping pong gun she has poked in my ribs.
I was that close >< to being out the window.
You can see that I'm pissed and about to start whining.

Last edited by Chuck on 29 Jan 2009, 4:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

I gotta admit... ...this might just work! Thanks Gromit!
I just hope we don't get into trouble with the Brits as we float by, my sister with her ping pong rifle firing away. I hear they've got darts....

What I recommend is attaching a Rhino BumperTM to your van. First, you will need to raise your own rhino (they, like Scottish terriers, bond only to one family and are "reserved with strangers"). :

The Woolly Rhinocerous Ice Age DNA KitTM ought to produce a fine bumper for your Canadian climate. Alternately, you can produce a couple, and train them to serve as "attack" rhinos to protect your van. (No one has to know that they are completely harmless sweetypie huggy bears!) :

(Or, if you are a fan of unicorns, you could use The Elasmotherium sibiricum DNA KitTM):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elasmotherium

Speaking of Elasmotherium sibiricum, ...erm, ...ummmmmm ...?
Now where did my thoughts go?!?

Thought police... Dream police...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiVscqYrtfM[/youtube]

As an act of protest against thought police, I hereby post a link to the Least Appropriate Commercial Placement EVER, from the Canadian airing of the season 4.5 opener of Battlestar Galactica (WARNING: EXPLICIT violence, EXTREMELY dark humor, major spoiler for episode "Sometimes a Great Notion"):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW2_2ihIuzI

A stunning juxtaposition!! ! BRAVO!! !! !

Here's another'n:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odvV9dj-QKI
(fast forward to the 36 second mark)

i have offended the gods, somehow. maybe i was supposed to leave whiskey at stonehenge or something....

the old cat, the one with what we thought for years had a diagnosis of "chronic idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis" had a lung blow out over the weekend. not bad enough to collapse, but enough to let air into the pleural sac which made it hard for him to breath with what is left of his lungs. so we took him to the doctor tuesday night. i'm now $550 poorer, the cat is much better, and we found out that all these years he has NOT had "chronic idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis" but a long-standing infection of some sort.

sigh. all those inhalers, the trips to mexico to by drugs for the cat cause we couldn't afford 'em in the usa, the treatments, the worry... and all that money down the drain for nuthin. infection. it's just been a damned infection. the vet is waiting for the results of the fungal panel, and if it's not fungus he's gonna start the little hairball on antibiotics.

i hate our old vet. i love our new vet and his turban.

sigh.

damn, that's a big alligator!

...seems strange that he would have a chronic years-long infection without an underlying disorder of some sort (eg, chronic granulomatous disease, feline AIDs, etc.) I've read that cats in your area are more prone to cryptococcosis. Glad he's doing better now though! Here's hoping this treatment's the cure! <---(happy cat)

dunno. he was found with health problems as a kitten. a dog had gotten to him and savaged his face, they had to wire his jaw back together. and he had what we think was an infection or birth defect as a very young cat (one of his eyes was out of the socket and infected, the other one was shriveled up) when they found him. he was really young (less than 12 weeks old), so we think he never was sighted. he's negative for feline aids, we know that, and feline leukemia. we've had him tested for everything - they said they ran every test there was to run and were talking about lung biopsies about five years ago when we told them to just stop, as it wasn't going to make him better. funny how the one thing that came up on a simple, ordinary "old cat" blood panel was the tell-tale. vet says you only see the elevated protein level, without any other elevated levels, in cases of long-standing infection.

the cat does relatively well in summer, but when it gets cold he has problems. his lungs are damaged, we know that much (we are now in posession of all his old x-rays and they're showing his lungs to be pretty much a mess). anyway, i leave an oil-filled radiator-type space heater on for him all the time in the winter and he says pretty close to it, but he went off his feed while we went to london and .... somewhere over the weekend he went into one of his coughing fits and tore a hole in his lung, poor guy. they supposedly did a fungal panel years ago and it came up negative, but i have some suspicions that the old vet billed us for tests he never actually did. but we can't prove that.

he's eating like a pig and doing much better now. but, dang, i am not having good luck with cats lately.