The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Spike likes muffins, but likes millet better. It's still pouring rain. Which is good.

lelia should try superglue on her head problem, or maybe duck tape....

Toy bicycle? OMG!! Helmet is still advisable for this form of transportation, I have found. It works, but so far I have only managed to find Ohio. If I had had full skate boarding paraphernalia or knights armor, probably the better, but I didn't. I would have chopped off a few finger, maybe a nose or two, when the visor would keep falling down when attempting to get further then Ohio in one evening event, or more preferably called an event horizon.

"The beer scooter:

This final property is by far and large the most useful. It has long been theorised that this property is the key to teleportation of distances previously unknown. The theory is as follows:

After imbibing a few steins of the amber nectar, one is under the influence (unless one is Diego Garcia, in which case teleportation is only a few enchiladas away). It is possibly that, after large consumption, a person can partially or entirely forget how he or she got home. The lack of memory is directly proportional to the number of units taken into the blood stream.

Of course, it is only popular myth that you actually get home by normal means, when in fact something more counter-intuitive happens. One rides the Beer Scooter home. Not ride in the conventional sense, but more through the fabric of time and space. This is obviously a dangerous thing to do (akin to stepping inside of the event horizon of a black hole, or pissing on a female grizzly bear) and so it is not uncommon to end up with scars and scratches a plenty in the morning.

However, physicists have been working on a way to use this to civilisation's advantage. If a lever, for instance, can be created that would tap straight into the blood stream of the Traveller, and inject vast, vast quantities of alcohol, that person would be able to travel vast, vast distances in, what would seem, no time at all. And so, teleportation has been cracked."

I could tell you were the above came from, but you just don't want to know. It's better than Scientific American. Actually I'm not sure how one can put those two words together. Poetic license I guess.

lelia

You sound stressed. I have run into a similar problem, when the folks (parents) would return from work. Now I had been doing all of the cooking in an attempt to lessen their stress. I used a special oregano for a spaghetti dinner for them one evening. But not too much, one can't over spice it too much. Not exactly true, just sort of depends. I then watched them during the evening. Better then TV. It worked. No, I didn't mean the TV. I don't think it was even on, although they might have been watching it.

However in your case sewing, super glue, Duck Tape(TM), Nan's muffins, have been given as suggestions for attachment of a head. I have perfected a very, very old family and ancient secret muffin recipe, which I invented in 1968 and perfected in 1970. I have stated very clearly here, there are good muffins and there are evul muffins in the Cafe'. No not always in the Cafe's sometimes you need to call for take out, sort of like calling the pizza guy. However, my person philosophies tell me that neither exist, good and evil. But I couldn't deny that muffins exist. I have been enlightened and endarkened in my philosophical pursuits (I even visited Ohio once.) for THE question, I don't give a damn about the answer. Muffins are one of the fundamental building blocks of the very universe, that and human stupidity. *"Some people... some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say, There is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of gods grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!"* You might rarely hear me say, rarely mind you, I mean I'm really rare, when I say, Why don't you come over here, my lovely cupcake. Sometimes they do and some times they don't. However as for me, yes as for me, I prefer the muffin. I have a very special muffin for you. (ok so I made a bakers dozen.) It has no screws in it, but it will screw your head back on and you will see one of fundamental building blocks of the Universe. And you won't see the muffin, because you ate it. The green stuff in it? It's just oregano, trust me. If you don't like the solar green color in those, I have another recipe that has butterscotch chips in it. Yes they are too!! Trust me.

How about a little mood music? But before I do, how about a little Bible story? See there was this crowd and they were about to stone to death this woman that did things differently and Jesus said let the one to cast the first stone be the one that hasn't been different in some way too. Well a stone did come out from the crowd and he said, Gee Mom I hate it when you do that. At least that's how I think it went, Rusty on my Bible story's. Boy I bet she got an ass whippen when she got home, talk about different.

Now I have no idea what that story and the song have to do with anything. Dylan is just plain strange. I don't know if he likes cupcakes or muffins better either. He might like brownies for all I know. But he sure knows enough not to wear brown lipstick, it never looks good on anybody.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUogzf1h2UY[/youtube]


and *"goodnight Austin Texas, where ever you are."*

*Frank Zappa

I'll order a dozen if you'll put sweet potato frosting on them.
Oh, and by the way, did any of us grow any boojums yet?

No, I'm sad to say. I got the pot ready for them, it sat in the back room, other wise known as the cave, but then had to move it out onto the back deck. I will get a favored plant in here, but not until I can get the "flow" going again in here. It's frustrating me badly.

muffins defintely help the flow!

muffins and hot mug of something is the base rock of the Cafe. Keepin' the flow.

and I rather like the image of walking around with your head tucked in your arm -complete with hat!

Merle

sheee walked the bloooody tower
at the mid-night hour
with her head tucked underneath her arm....

i hate that. it's a bit of a tune my dad used to sing to me when i was a toddler and it's all i can ever remember of it.
i had a weird dad. a bit of a spectrum individual, really.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Boley ... c_.26_song

WITH HER HEAD TUCKED UNDERNEATH HER ARM
(R.P. Weston / Bert Lee)
Stanley Holloway (Monologue)

The Kingston Trio's cover of that tune was popular in our house when I was growing up.

wah.

Last edited by Nan on 19 Feb 2009, 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Lurking and stimming....

wah? Don't worry Nan I heard they replaced the Shannon Duty Free store with a WalMart. Go to a local and pretend you're in Ireland.

So why the alteration of the post? No need to answer, figured I'd just bump up the ol Ex Cafe' a bit. You know, stir up some trouble.

aaannnnndddd, they gave me a prescription for speed today. How cool is that!! !! !

hey, Nan, you still have a job?

Merle

I do, but they called the kid and she didn't get the one she interviewed for (mom pulled strings to get her that interview). We're now trying to get her in to the state vocational rehab program to get certified so she can call "accommodations" as needed.

Last edited by Nan on 20 Feb 2009, 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ohyeahdude, that's what YOU need. a brain torqued even more....

No bonus last week, no bonus this week.....Think I'll take a dip in the chocolate hot-tub....