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Otaku87
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Joined: 30 Aug 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 11

01 Sep 2019, 12:36 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
No worries.

I am not really a quick thinker, but I am a very deep thinker, with a slightly above average IQ level. I think very well in picture form as I have a very visual mind. I will take a subject I "Latch onto" and explore and explore and explore and will keep on and on changing angles as I explore. Like a terrier, I won't let go until I am finally satisfied with the results. This could take years of bringing the subject back up with another angle on it.
If I am not able to latch onto a subject, I can find studying it difficult, and hard going. I generally want to avoid the subject to avoid mental stress. But subjects I latch onto are luxury. I acytually unwind exploring them! And I am a massive daydreamer! Haha!


When it comes to academics, I am a slow thinker, otherwise I think fast.. though most is incoherent. Even I think 'whaaatt, stop for a moment..how on earth did it get here!', it becomes ridiculous and sometimes quite funny!

Yes, I also think visually. I realised I picture all things and then suddenly a very unrelated thing enters my head, so as a kid I related certain words to unrelated objects. I learned in a group for AS, that such things can happen. I know it is well known, but at the time I knew so little that it was all overwhelming.

I also get very absorbed with topics and interests! if a person says one bad thing regarding it, it is worse than personally attacking me...

I too find daydreaming relaxes me, so I relate. I always daydream, often I get a bit lost. I create many scenarios, mainly very mundane to the point 'why am I daydreaming this!?'

Sorry, is it ok to talk so much on this intro message, I get worried I'll be told off?!

I may be told "Post outside of your own 'Hello' thread, strange new person!"



Mountain Goat
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01 Sep 2019, 4:23 am

Carry on talking away. Sorry. I went to sleep as it was 0500am. Yikes! Haha. I awoke at 0938 I think though I was awake earlier and just lying there. My sleep patterns and time goes all over the place after a few stressful days so it takes time to even out. Also I get absorbed into the internet, which I do use to mentally tire me out so I can sleep easier as sometimes my body can be tired but my brain is awake and trying to sleep is pointless.
I am normally ok at sleeping if I have not been stressed. I also had the runs at 0430am onwards... They didn't seem to want to come out before and that was the time my body decided it was time to let them out. Haha!
Anyway... You're fine. Chat away. Everyone is used to everyone else being different. We are nearly all an understanding lot.


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Otaku87
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01 Sep 2019, 2:51 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Carry on talking away. Sorry. I went to sleep as it was 0500am. Yikes! Haha. I awoke at 0938 I think though I was awake earlier and just lying there. My sleep patterns and time goes all over the place after a few stressful days so it takes time to even out. Also I get absorbed into the internet, which I do use to mentally tire me out so I can sleep easier as sometimes my body can be tired but my brain is awake and trying to sleep is pointless.
I am normally ok at sleeping if I have not been stressed. I also had the runs at 0430am onwards... They didn't seem to want to come out before and that was the time my body decided it was time to let them out. Haha!
Anyway... You're fine. Chat away. Everyone is used to everyone else being different. We are nearly all an understanding lot.



Ah, I understand that! I am usually awake at night. I had periods of working a few years, then get overloaded and can't. I overworked a lot in my last job for 4 years straight.. until I kept having dramatic moments and my boss asked me to take time off. Before, I had some kind of routine.

Do you find this? I luckily have a really supportive Mum, since at the moment I can't go outside, so she helps me with shopping. I feel like such a loser not being able to do basic things suddenly.

Ouch, that sounds harsh! I hope you feel better today :)

Thanks, I once was on a forum for social anxiety but had bad experiences with misunderstandings and accidentally said something wrong. To this day, I'm still not quite sure what it was... but this was before diagnosis. Now I'd prob know! I am quite tactful naturally so kind of wonder if was just a character flaw of mine, as we all have them. Woops!



Otaku87
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Joined: 30 Aug 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 11

01 Sep 2019, 3:19 pm

Also, just realised that my age isn't showing up. I am 32.



Mountain Goat
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01 Sep 2019, 3:48 pm

It's a really nice age to be.

Don't worry about saying the wrong thing. I have done this on other forums I am on. I hide for a few days and slowly test the waters! I am too sensitive, so if I have upset someone, I tend to try to dissapear.

I think I have reached a stage close to burnout or burnout itself. I don't know. So now I am trying to recharge by taking it easy. At the moment I do not want to think about a job for a while. I feel too vunerable.

I have gone from job to job in the past as when things get a bit much, when younger I would change jobs, but then later I would just hand in my notice and leave. Always the last couple of weeks were murder to work... No. I didn't die. I mean... The most difficult times to work through.

I could never work it out why I was not like my Dad. In his early years he did his training at one place, and then had job which he did 30 years in until he retired early due to ill health. I have never been able to stay in the same job for a long time. Having said that, as railways and model railways are my main special interest which I have since I was a dhild, somehow I lasted in a well paid railway job for 9 years. I was quite suicidal at the end of it and when I caught myself nearly jumping out a train I was working at about 75mph, and a passenger stopped me doing it (Though he didn't know he stopped me as I had to see to him first, I came to my senses, so I was quick to hand in my notice, as I was a mess!


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Otaku87
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01 Sep 2019, 10:05 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
It's a really nice age to be.

Don't worry about saying the wrong thing. I have done this on other forums I am on. I hide for a few days and slowly test the waters! I am too sensitive, so if I have upset someone, I tend to try to dissapear.

I think I have reached a stage close to burnout or burnout itself. I don't know. So now I am trying to recharge by taking it easy. At the moment I do not want to think about a job for a while. I feel too vunerable.

I have gone from job to job in the past as when things get a bit much, when younger I would change jobs, but then later I would just hand in my notice and leave. Always the last couple of weeks were murder to work... No. I didn't die. I mean... The most difficult times to work through.

I could never work it out why I was not like my Dad. In his early years he did his training at one place, and then had job which he did 30 years in until he retired early due to ill health. I have never been able to stay in the same job for a long time. Having said that, as railways and model railways are my main special interest which I have since I was a dhild, somehow I lasted in a well paid railway job for 9 years. I was quite suicidal at the end of it and when I caught myself nearly jumping out a train I was working at about 75mph, and a passenger stopped me doing it (Though he didn't know he stopped me as I had to see to him first, I came to my senses, so I was quick to hand in my notice, as I was a mess!


I sometimes forget my age and accidentally tell people I am 30! haha. Kind of makes sense, because 2 years I've been unable to go outside, so it feels like time has stopped. I never let people celebrate my birthday, so I completely forget, unless I think and don't just blurt it out.

I can understand that. being hypersensitive is frustrating and embarrassing for me. I don't think it is a bad trait in others. I personally prefer people like that. Cold people terrify me. It's maybe why I over analyze and over think things. Even posting here, I start to think 'Ah, was this a good idea?' I tend to overshare and be a bit too open. Then I think 'Why did I have to say that?' lol

I am sad to read that.. did you stop working from that point?

I hope your situation has improved, feel free to share plans. Though, if you are like me - you possibly have none! I honestly don't :?

Sorry, I probably haven't answered well. I have a fuzzy brain today.



Otaku87
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Posts: 11

01 Sep 2019, 10:22 pm

Also, apologies in advance... I sometimes make even less sense than now, so may not respond fast! Please feel free to pm me, I am worried that this intro post could make me look self obsessed if I keep posting only here!



Mountain Goat
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02 Sep 2019, 12:39 am

I also spend most of my life either not saying a word, or I am so open that i give out my life story in no time at all, and then I habe nothing left to say that I can speak about! Haha!


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psychogirl
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04 Sep 2019, 1:05 pm

Hello! I'm Katie, nice to meet you :)