Oh no! An invader from Earth!

Post Reply New Topic

I suppose I could understand that. Because as of now part of my identity is simply being odd. Yet, if the world were tailored for me I'd not miss that. I had a time in my life when I thought about what people thought of me, but for me it's always been more "if they don't like me, they are going to hurt me" than "if they don't like me then I can't be one of them and that's a problem" I know I can't be one of them.

I had no speech delay. Not uncommon in people with asperger's...and what really gives me that diagnosis rather than high functioning autism. I actually talked fairly fluently, albiet in odd ways and not to too many people, as a child. I still do talk in a rather odd manner according to most people.

A conundrum I've had is that I care that other people think that I shouldn't care what other people think. So my very sensitivity to this cultural or sub-cultural value betrays an inability to live up to it. I kind of choose the values I adopt, but it's not always a rational process, because if it were, then I would not choose to value independence of a greater degree than I can live up to, which makes me unhappy. But then, there probably is some appeal to it, which is perhaps the implicit dreaming of these so-called "greater" things.

I wonder how much I could learn to accept things?

I wonder how much more accepting of others I could be if I accepted myself better? I think I often accept others more than I accept myself, but that could just be an illusion in a sense. Surely people can be and have been insulted by my self-berating: if I'm "stupid" for not having achieved X, what does that make the person who hasn't achieved X-1? So that bit of non-acceptance extends to them, and I could make myself less harmful all around by letting go of that. There's not much difference between thinking I should be better than everybody else and thinking I am better than everybody else.

edit: That last statement might be inaccurate - there could well be much difference that I disregarded in my interest in the similarity. A more precise statement: "There is a similarity between thinking I should be better than everybody else and thinking I am better than everybody else, in that I artificially elevate my own ego, potentially at the expense of others, and also at the expense of true self-acceptance."

The difference between confidence and arrogance perhaps?

(Despite the screenname, also NT)

at-at, at-at, at-at-at-at........at-at!

Oh excuse me let me just switch on the universal translator. Welcome earthling!

I too see shapes in the wallpaper. Mostly faces too.