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Jakki
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16 Mar 2021, 4:39 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Jakki wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Someone I know has them and they have a railway.

Alpacas and a railway,, that’s a combination !


Yes. A garden railway.

Father had one of those in the house , I was born in . Only saw the result of the Railway tracks after we had moved to a new house . He had tried to save it . During the move . Never saw what became of it .. This is the first ever heard it called a garden railway. But had seen one once since them over 20 yrs ago.


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Double Retired
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17 Mar 2021, 12:47 pm

StarSprinkle wrote:
Hahaha, let her cut your hair!
(a) I'm already supposed to keep the beard. I'm not looking for changes. I am uncomfortable with change. Now, as a diagnosed Aspie, I can even say "I have a doctor's note for that!"

(b) I'm a husband--have been for 21+ years. I can be good at not hearing things. I'm pretty sure you didn't say anything. Or maybe you were talking to someone on the phone... Yeah, that's probably it.

:roll:


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Jakki
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17 Mar 2021, 7:06 pm

Double Retired wrote:
StarSprinkle wrote:
Hahaha, let her cut your hair!
(a) I'm already supposed to keep the beard. I'm not looking for changes. I am uncomfortable with change. Now, as a diagnosed Aspie, I can even say "I have a doctor's note for that!"

(b) I'm a husband--have been for 21+ years. I can be good at not hearing things. I'm pretty sure you didn't say anything. Or maybe you were talking to someone on the phone... Yeah, that's probably it.

:roll:


Sounds like a nice lovingly long marriage ... congradulations on hanging in there ! Does sound like it could be a typical symptom of marriage .


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StarSprinkle
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17 Mar 2021, 10:28 pm

I gotta learn this trick. I didn't and I'm sure that has a lot to do with me having not been married 20+ years like my new shaggy haired friend. Or one year. Or any unit of time... If I could pretend every moronic thing I was asked to do by a significant other was actually stuff they were talking to their mom on the phone about... Well... I'm not sorry things worked out like they did for me but I'm super happy for people who like to share their space with others and get to do so happily. I started to get resentful of it and refused to share my blanket even though I shared the bed. That was the compromise to the argument where I'm not allowed to want a whole room for myself. It isn't normal to want a door that zero people are allowed to open or bang on or dance around outside of. One of these days, I'll have that door and it will be like a beautiful wedding ring to me one day.



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18 Mar 2021, 3:33 am

Hello there Star and welcome to WrongPlanet :)



Jakki
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18 Mar 2021, 7:31 am

StarSprinkle wrote:
I gotta learn this trick. I didn't and I'm sure that has a lot to do with me having not been married 20+ years like my new shaggy haired friend. Or one year. Or any unit of time... If I could pretend every moronic thing I was asked to do by a significant other was actually stuff they were talking to their mom on the phone about... Well... I'm not sorry things worked out like they did for me but I'm super happy for people who like to share their space with others and get to do so happily. I started to get resentful of it and refused to share my blanket even though I shared the bed. That was the compromise to the argument where I'm not allowed to want a whole room for myself. It isn't normal to want a door that zero people are allowed to open or bang on or dance around outside of. One of these days, I'll have that door and it will be like a beautiful wedding ring to me one day.


Hope you may find your room and .door one of these days and find that special Ring .


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18 Mar 2021, 10:52 am

Jakki wrote:
Hope you may find your room and .door one of these days and find that special Ring .
Ditto...for everyone!

Four observations:

(1) She's ADHD, I'm an Aspie. That took awhile.

(2) Something that helped (related to that), we had that time: I wouldn't leave; I'm an Aspie--I don't like change. She's ADHD; she was too busy to move all her stuff!

(3) Me retiring helped a lot, too.

(4) Having senses of humor may have helped most!

She leads a busy life so (pre-pandemic) I typically had the house to myself during the day. She was living her busy life while I lead my secluded life.


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StarSprinkle
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19 Mar 2021, 7:45 am

Those factors do increase your odds!

I started realizing I had to move out of my long term relaionship of 9 years when I returned home from taking my kids to see my parents for a weekend and found he drunk rearranged all our furniture. Again. Like it's the only thing to do when he's drunk and alone
Andd this time he moved the special working pile of mess and trying to organize whatever was current about my life. To this day, he doesn't think it was a mortal sin to repeatedly do that. I mean, if I hadn't specifically told him with the care you give to someone you love but is hardheaded... Lol, to this day he rants about stuff like "I did everything for you! Everything you needed! You wanted psycho things when you wanted me to put up with tin foiled windows so our baby could sleep!" It sounds stupid to any listener. He really was a confused and ultimately lazy man. He wanted to be seen as a hero when he out forth a minimum effort.

I'm going to get my new man on the Appalachian Trail or some other similar example of that we couldn't have met there if you didn't live a life similar to mine and actually can and do want to do the things you say you want to do. I'm tired of future faking myself. It would be hard to save for a hike like that so they'd have demonstrated they could save for a part of their life to be lived entirely off savings. They'd know stuff, like I do, about how heavy liquids are. Just so on and so on. If I can't meet him looking like death from not bathing and walking for weeks, then I don't want him to see me any more cleaned up than that and for the same to apply to him. Minimalism... On and on in that direction.

My daughter thinks it is laughable and unlikely and I agree. Good thing I don't bank much on that fantasy.

Thank you for people who welcomed me again!



Jakki
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19 Mar 2021, 11:42 am

That’s a difficult situation on the very best of days , sorry you are going through that .


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