The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Usually the original is the best...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWB8jhxDmGI[/youtube]
However, Ann WIlson certainly has taught me the words! I've never heard(understood) them before.

Me think us should been penning an singing.

The "Us am them Aspie Rag".

Or... "Sing-along-a-Aspie".

hartz,

sorry to hear about your father

glad you can offer him support and help, just be mindful of taking care of yourself also

sometimes I think the family is forgotten by shunting all attention to the patient even if a little could be spared for family members

take care!

I categorically deny whatever it is that she found out about what happens during full moon, not that anything does happen, full moon or not. In fact, I deny everything! Nothing happened, it wasn't me, it was an accident, Chuck made me do it! (Chuck's away, isn't he?)


But I am humble now! [bounces forehead off floor, offering Swiss chocolate]


You probably mean radio programmes. I expect the code I occasionally write would make Lau hysterical, but it's never intentionally funny, I am sure it's not even unintentionally sarcastic, I don't know whether it might be cynical.

So, radio. Here you go.

Hmm. There is still something missing. Let's see...
Funny? Check!
Sarcastic? Check!
Cynical? Not really.

All right, Marcus Brigstocke should press all the buttons (I really mean it, stay away if you're sensitive about religion):
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY-ZrwFwLQg[/youtube]

Last edited by Gromit on 26 Nov 2007, 12:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nice one Gromit. I particularly liked:

1. genius, n.: A chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with "bright."
   
2. genius, n.: Person clever enough to be born in the right place at the right time of the right sex and to follow up this advantage by saying all the right things to all the right people.
3. Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
   
   1. An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
   2. An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
   3. The energy required to change either one of these states will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so much as to make the task totally impossible.
4. Giblet's Law: Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
   
5. Corollary of Giblet's Law: Following the rules will not get the job done.
   
6. Gilbert's Discovery: Any attempt to use the new super glues results in the two pieces sticking to your thumb and index finger rather than to each other.
7. Ginsberg's Theorem:
   
   1. You can't win.
   2. You can't break even.
   3. You can't even quit the game.
8. Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's Theorem. To wit:
   
   1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
   2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
   3. Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.
9. Ginsburg's Law: At the precise moment you take off your shoe in a shoe store, your big toe will pop out of your sock to see what's going on.
   
10. giraffiti, n.: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
    
11. glibido: All talk and no action.
    
12. Goda's Truism: By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
    
13. Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
    
14. Gordon's Law: If you think you have the solution, the question was poorly phrased.
    
15. Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2.
    
16. grasshopotomaus, n.: A creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once.
    
17. Green's Law of Debate: Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
    
18. Greener's Law: Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
    
19. Grelb's Reminder: Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.
    
20. Griffin's Thought: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
    
21. Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.
    
22. guillotine, n.: A French chopping center.
    
23. Gumperson's Law: The probability of a given event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
24. Gunter's Airborne Discoveries:
    
    1. When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
    2. The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
25. guru, n.: A person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the phone call you are about to receive from your boss.
    
26. guru, n.: A computer owner who can read the manual.

Marcus Brigstocke has a follow up. Less cynical, but far more sarcastic. Hear the humanistic healer:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yewj9FaMgAU[/youtube]

Thank you, Gromit and Lau. I am now adequately cheered up and do believe I can begin cracking the whip once again. Gromit, I have some lovely shrubbery that needs some trimming up. I believe you'll find herring in the fridge. And when that is done to my impeccable standards you can read me a few chapters of "Soul Music". You wouldn't happen to play the cello, would you? Oh yes, and about that Swiss chocolate..........

Last edited by blessedmom on 26 Nov 2007, 3:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

We had the same bug hit here last month. There were many people missing work because of it. How are you feeling today, Reika?

still dizzy a little, felt waves of nausea this morning but no reverse peristalis (puking is ugly but easier to spell ) reading "the meanest welcome to someone here ever" glad I did't get welcomed like that or I would have never met all of you.
This is day 3 so I hope this is the end of my sickness. Thanks for a time frame and my heart goes out to you Hartz. Loved the list Lau, haven't watched the sarcastic dude yet but allready know I'm gonna laugh, as I'm no fan of organized religion. Bono summed it up for me
"The God I believe in isn't short of cash Mister."

I do believe that's what the intelligence community calls "backsplash", when you do what seems like a good idea at the time and the result is that you end up not just up the river without a paddle, but that you hear a waterfall with the ambition to become an imminent experience. Well, not exactly a waterfall...

Oh, did I say that out loud?

Mam! Trimming the hedge with the herring! Yes, mam!:salut:

With a hedge trimmer, usually, for that full-bodied sound.

Here, mam! Swam the Atlantic to fetch it. All in a day's work, mam!

Last edited by Gromit on 26 Nov 2007, 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Reika, That is a very disgusting display on that thread, isn't it? I have no idea how someone can be so ignorant.

You should start feeling better soon, Reika. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

its getting worse by the minute the thread I mean

What a lovely bash at religion! Thanks for the video, Gromit!

She was pulling this crap with nan the other day, too. Just sit back and watch while she digs her own grave.

Shes done it to me once also, i kinda feel sorry for someone who is constantly argumentative with all of their interactions. It must be lonely and sad in its own way and it makes me wonder what happened to them, to make people become like that.
However my pity will not allow me to just stand by and let her be cruel to others.

am trying to remember to use the spell checker as my thoughts go much faster than my fingers.

Last edited by reika on 26 Nov 2007, 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.