The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Hi y'all. There's not much to say; just I'm here reading all your posts and can't believe about Bhutto!

The woman that ruled in a Muslim country. . .
Oh, Benazir! Benazir. . . you knew it was too good to be true and you embraced your destiny with grace and determination. How could you not know in the same place your father was hanged that you would meet your own end.

The woman that ruled a Muslim country. . .they couldn't let you live after that.


Merle

I had a very nice holiday until I visited my in-laws. They always know how to push my buttons Why must people always feel they have to comment or question my/our current living situation - that is - my daughter & her family living with us. The thing is, they already knows the answers to the questions they ask me, because obviously there is a "mole " in the family that is telling them my business. Business that is none of their business. I don't ask them personal questions, I don't comment on or inquire about any of my in laws or their familys beyond the niceties of "How's everybody doin', oh what beautiful kids so & so has, you guys have a really nice yard" - all of that kind of stuff. When I go to said SIL's we sit around the kitchen table and that is where the "grilling" takes place. Funny thing is, my husband is sitting right there, but they direct all of their comments and questions to me. I guess it's not going to stop unless I tell them straight "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS". Everytime I go there I swear I will never return, but I do, for my husband's sake. He's oblivious to it all.

There - I feel better.

Last edited by cosmiccat on 30 Dec 2007, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

And you visit these people, where you are made miserable repeateadly, why?

I feel like I owe it to my husband, out of respect for him. If I say I don't want to go, then he gets all bummed and says "then I'm not going either", and I become the evil woman that keeps him from seeing his family. He may be catching on a little, because this time when my SIL brought up something about one of my oldest daughter's sons, my husband looked at her and said "How would you know that? Who told you that?" Her answer to that question gave me a clue as to who the mole might be. The infuriating thing about that was, she had it wrong, wrong information, wrong boy. So whomever else she imparted this information too, also got it wrong. It's insidious.

But, my mind is made up. I will never ever ever step a foot in that house again.

Cosmiccat, you were enjoying the joy of Christmas!!

Some how or other, our Cristmas has slipped intosimplicity. No more rushing to this family and that family (his and hers) It just evolved that way. Our Christmas is a bit slapdash.

I had to interact with my sisters yesterday at a funeral. I sat there thinking about WP and I was glad to get home again!

This year we did no visiting except for the "pilgrimage" to see my husband's mother, as we do each year. She lives about 50 miles from us in another state. My daughter and son-in-law did all of the decorating, tree trimming and cooking.

We got to use the GPS I got him for Christmas and that was fun and interesting. As I predicted, he wasn't happy with the routes Magellen calculated and refused to "go that route", but the thing was gracious and recalculated each time its advice was rejected. It was cool, being reminded by a little dinging sound when to turn, and shown all streets and points of interests as we approached them. This year was the first time in our forty-eight years together that we did not buy gifts for anyone but each other. He gave me a very nice skirt, shawl, and beret.

We leave for the Florida Keys on the 31st and will be there for a month or so.

Last edited by cosmiccat on 28 Dec 2007, 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Reading these stories of fall-out from Holiday family doings just reminds me to be grateful that I stopped walking on that old treadmill. Had a lump of grief in my throat all Christmas day, and kept berating myself for calling my mother. My step-brother had called her and "tattled" on me and my brother for making nursing home decisions about our father without consulting him. Still acting out dramas from childhood. The only comfort I got, was laughing at him with my brother. We despised him as children, and he is still behaving in ways that can only arouse disgust.

This is why I called it a treadmill. If I didn't make the decision to get off, I'd still care about these silly little dramas. Now I can laugh at them.

It sounded infuriating, cosmiccat, to know that someone is spying and sharing info - incorrect info, at that. That goes on a lot in my family. My mother likes to twist innocent comments that I may have said, so that my siblings will get angry at me. She has completely turned them against me, and what do I do? Call and say Merry Christmas!

Hartz wrote:

The treadmill is a good name for it.

Robyn wrote:

That's funny and touching at the same time. That you think of WP even at a funeral.

As long as you were just thinking about WP and not laughing at the funeral like some of us are want to do, I'm sure no one noticed.

I was all prepared fo the treadmill and had an escape plan and had considered all of the worst case scenarios and it turned out to be the best time I've had with my siblings and parents in years. My kids and I spent most of Christmas day with them and then went back and spent the evening of the 26th with them.

I am glad it happens only twice a year, though. Seven adults, 6 kids and 4 dogs was a little noisy.

I'm glad to hear that you and your family had such a nice time.

sounds like your hubby learned long ago to ignore it and takes you along (he won't go withOUT you, right?) to run interference.

He owes you really big after all these years!


Merle

who was once told people 'grill you for information' because they CARE about you. . .

Merle wrote:

Great observation, Merle.

Whoahaha...One) Right on for deciding to not step into that house again. If hubby wants to see Mom and that family, send him alone, or meet them on neutral ground and not on the holiday; and Two) Yes, I agree with Merle. He needs to take you somewhere nice, a nice restaurant, or whatever delights you heart and soul.

Merle, your tag about relatives grilling you...yeah, they love us. Yeah. We all know it's to make themselves feel better, even if they don't understand that we are way cooler anyway. And I'm a crabass on top of it.

Metta, y'all, Rjaye