I am a newbie. (edited for additional info)

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Hello everyone. I just joined the site a few moments ago, and I just decided to jump in and say hello.

Growing up, I was always known as kind of an odd-ball. No matter how hard I tried, I never felt like I fully fit-in with any particular group of people. I was always told by my teachers that I was smart, and I guess I was in a book-sense to some degree but I've always been somewhat socially inept so to speak. My motor skills were never the greatest either. One example is that I was never good at playing sports. I was always the one kid no one wanted on their team for any type of team sports. I attempted little league baseball for a couple of years and never got past the intermediate stage. Another thing is that I was never able to ride a bicycle. It wasn't that I never tried, but it seemed like my feet always slipped off the pedals while starting out and I fell over. After several attempts I said 'screw it' and to this day, my feet slip off the pedals at times when I work an exercise bike. Needless to say, I missed out on some things growing up.

Once high school hit, I tried to fit into whatever group of people I could. Since my music tastes leaned to the classic rock/heavy metal side, I hung with the headbangers as we were so called at Hunters Lane. I was accepted to a degree, but once again I did not fit in like I wanted to. I was not invited to outside school activities very often. I was also dumped on the evening of my 16th birthday. I worked part time at a couple of different places while in school, but found I was spending my time at home, and miserable for a lot of the time. Oftentimes I wondered what was different about me.

Then, my sister told me about Asperger's so I looked it up, and felt like a punch in the stomach. I was reading the symptoms and suddenly clicked. I got tested for Asperger's last year, and was not diagnosed officially, but that I had a combination of ADHD, a learning disability of some sort, and something else I can't remember at the moment. I am still sticking to my self-diagnosis due to the traits I know I have, in addition to what I described below:

1. I have extreme interests, mainly movies, music, spirituality, football, and politics. From time to time one or two of these interests will dominate the others, and they switch back and forth.

2. I would flap my arms in front of the TV as a child. When I was little, I was obsessed with watching game shows, Sesame Street, The Electric Company, and anything with lights and patterns. I loved (and still love) Star Wars, so I watched Buck Rogers and Battlestar Galactica for the space action.

I feel a sense of relief in a way. I now can put some pieces together to realize why my life has taken the turns it has. Am I bitter? Not really. I know that God made me the way I am for a reason, and maybe now I will get to discover why that is.

Hi Al-Bone

My son was diagnosed with Aspergers last year at 19. He has just turned 20. He sounds just like your description of yourself when it comes to likes and dislikes.

He was determined to ride a bike and he learnt - but with Shea we had to wait until he was ready to do it. Its like a lightbulb goes on when he is ready to do something. I think he got sick of seeing his brother (23) and sister (19), their cousins and friends all riding their bikes around the village and not being with them because one day he just got on his bike and did it.

We lived in a little village that was attached to a prison so it was just staff and their families there. It was great because everyone knew everyone else, the kids were all friends (and those friendships are still there now 18 years later even though the village has gone). I also think that because Shea was in the middle of the family that it helped with the socialising.

The boys now live in a little rural town called Te Awamutu and their sister lives 20 minutes away in Hamilton. They are all very close and their friends are all kids who grew up with them from the time they were little so Shea and they are all like one big extended family. He is so well looked after by everyone which is fantastic.

Shea took years and years to learn how to walk in scuffs and jandals (I think you guys call them flip flops) and only learnt when he was at high school.

He loves music particularly heavy metal and rock, has an incredible knowledge of music (not just those two genres), is very spiritual, loves sports particularly rugby (thats our national sport - its like American football but the players dont wear padding - check it out its a great game), loves reading and comedians like Billy Connelly. He has a wicked sense of humour and is a genuinely great guy (he is very particular when it comes to girls and will not go out with a girl if he thinks she is skanky (sleeps around). He has very high values and morals and I never had to worry about peer pressure because if he didnt agree with it nothing would change his mind!!

He had major problems at high school like you and after a run in with a jumped up little jerk of a teacher (who had small mans syndrome) he refused to go back to school and that was it - he was 15, but you can leave at that age over here. He cant keep a job either because his fine motor skills are not that great but he gets a benefit to help him because of the Aspergers.

He doesnt give up trying though. I believe that the right job with the perfect boss will find him.

I think God makes you this way to teach the rest of the world to be more open about accepting people who are different. I would not swap Shea for all the tea in china and neither would our friends or family. Even if he does obsess over different subjects and doesnt do the manual labouring jobs. Shea puts other people in the shade when it comes to sensitivity, empathy and humour. In fact I am blessed to have him as my son and I say thank you every single day because my life is so much better with him in it.! !!

Welcome to the Wrong Planet, fellow-traveler Al-Bone.

Thanks for the welcomes.

Minniemum, I appreciate you telling the stories about your children, particularly Shea, since I can relate to his situations.

Rugby has a cult following here in the states, particularly among universities. It takes a real tough exterior to play.

BTW, not sure if you are a fan, but I love the music of Neil and Tim Finn. When MTV started in the early 80's they used to play Split Enz videos, and they were one of my favorites from that era.

To WrongPlanet!! !

You sound a lot like me. My motor skills suck, too and I was always a joke in gym class. I can ride a bike with training wheels but not without. I've tried many times with no luck. And I've never been able to fit in anywhere no matter how hard I've tried. It's good you see you have a more positive outlook on having aspergers. I wish I could, too. I mean I know aspergers is only a label, but even without the label my life hasn't been the greatest and now at least I have a reason for how some things have been but it doesn't seem to help. Anyway, I guess I'm just blabbering. Anyway, welcome to the site.

welcome!!

Welcome to WP!

Welcome!

I can relate to the bike thing. I would only dare get on a bike if my dad was holding onto it so I wouldn't fall. My "friend" once witnessed this, and spread it round school that I'd got to whatever age we were at the time without being able to ride a bike unsupported.

I'm bad at sports too. I think that's mainly because of the confusion of everyone yelling at me to "catch the ball! Go to the left a bit! No, the other left! Oh Gina, you IDIOT...!" By Year 7, I'd started replying to this BS with remarks like, "Why? Who dies if I don't catch the stupid ball?" I've recently discovered that nobody really cares if I just sit at the side singing under my breath the whole hour instead of participating - at my old school, the teacher would have sent me back into the middle of the game, but at my new school they don't seem to notice.

This apathy towards sports often earns me detentions for "lack of effort", but I don't really care because detention is more fun than sport. PE class should be optional, IMO, so that people who enjoy sport can do so without people like me who detest it getting in the way, while people like me can enjoy some nice, quiet, indoor activity without being yelled at and hit in the head with basketballs.

Anyway, yeah, welcome to WP.

Guess what Al-Bone? Neil and Tim Finn come from Te Awamutu (if you check out their original band's (Split Enz) music you will find Te Awamutu mentioned in their song Six Months In A Leaky Boat).

Te Awamutu is where the kids all grew up and the boys still live there - I have moved back over to the east coast to the Bay of Plenty region.

Nice little town, both Neil and Tim went to school there - the same high school as my kids. I have met Tim once - he came back to town for an old boys reunion of like minded musos who all hung out together at high school and I was working at the pub where they had the reunion. Te Awamutu is very, very proud of their local boys who have done so well.

And yes, we are all big fans of theirs.