hi all

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hello there, im a new member , based in the uk.
stumbled across this community whilst doing a little research into aspergers, have been convinced that my daughter has aspergers from the age of 3 , but up to now never had her diagnosed( didnt think it mattered, shes mega high functioning, and very like me in all her oddities, and im not diagnosed either lol)
have started considering finding out more , as she is now 15 and in her final year of comprehensive, flying high at school, but struggling still with certain social situations, and having problems transfering her thoughts onto paper for essay based exams, (lives for science and maths and has always wanted to be a vet so can probably get by on limited social skills lol)just looking into whether theres any actual 'help' she could be entitled to that i may be denying her by refusing to 'label' her(personally i think its perfectly fine to not want to waste words on people who you have nothing in common with , but i also know that probably isnt helping much .
if it turns out that theres no real practical point to having her diagnosed then i dont think its an issue at all, as i have always believed that she will get through life just fine as i have in my own muddled way lol, but either way im already loving this forum ( just had a quick look round) and im sure she will too.
sorry for rambling

Welcome to WP!

Hi & welcome!

HEY!! !

Welcome to the WP neighborhood, cat42.

Hello cat42, welcome to WrongPlanet!

I don't know what help you may be able to get for your daughter where you live. It isn't the same everywhere! You can probably find out what is available in your area best & consult your daughter, as she'll have to live with the decision!

To WrongPlanet!! !

The only practical point in diagnosis is to help in getting help for things we can't get past. The way people without "normal" social skills are treated in our societies is brazen racism, and isn't likely to change for a while.

My conjecture is that knowing of the disorder (aspergers) can bolster defences against that sort of discrimination and save the sufferer from some of the rejection and insult that accrue to him/her. I've little real evidence for that so far (only been diagnosed a couple of years) but lots for its flip side.

Salve!

Hey cat42 and Welcome to Wrongplanet

Hi, Perhaps your daughter can do oral exams, you need to check that out. She is very persistant in what she want and she has the potential? Why shouldn't she become a vet. Can she get a job as an assistant or anything to do with animals so so knows how much work there is involved and the cleaning etc? It will take 8 years to become a vet that is longer than becoming a doctor for people. There must be a way around it so your daughter can achieve her dream. She needs to get an occupation and for everything you do you need to study, or is she going to be one of the many unhappy people that end up doing low paid jobs like cleaning? There are many people out there who do that kind of work, not because they are stupid, but they lack certain skills that are required by the 'normal' crowd.

I am just finished reading 1984 by George Orwell, perhaps you've read the book yourself. Nearly at the end of the book your man (forgot his name) keeps saying to himself that he is not insane, although he is the only one who can't accept that Big Brother is right and he is wrong. Everything is the otherway around in the book. People are not loud to have any feelings and children spy on their own parents.

Coming back to the 'normal' crowd, people end up seriously depressed and suffer from anxiety because of working under their level, what a waste it would be for your daughter. If I were you I would do anything to get her enrolled into a study to become a vet. After all you can always fall back on discrimination.
Good luck.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

to be honest she not only has the potential , but also the determination , and im pretty sure she will get to where she wants, but i need to make sure school are helping her out with the problems that are occuring witrh the essay work.
as far as the A/B grade required is concerned that is what they are predicting her anyhow, but she then got 5/13 for spelling grammar and punctuation in her last exam( she has tried to explain it to me and she says she thinks too fast to stop to put in paragraphs or she will forget what the next bit was going to be), and her spelling has always been abysmal, her speech is slow and deliberate when trying to explain anything , or answer mundane questions, but when shes interested in something she can be very eloquent , and uses amazing vocab in her descriptive/imaginative writing.
i have a strong suspicion that she has dyxlexia to some extent,as part of, or in addition to her ?? aspergers. and i think that is where she can perhaps benefit from help right now,as getting marked down for spelling is obviously going to lower her average and make it much harder for her to cope with the essay exams. as for getting her head round the actual types of question, i can nurse her through that if school drags their heels, and have bought her all the study notes etc, luckily lots of her exam questions so far seem to be based around zoosand wildlife, but she has a shakespear resit coming up and actually graded D for that exam. the reason for that became obvious to me today when she showed me the questions, as one example was explain how the relationship between A & B ( charachters, im useless with names lol) is important to the plot,or something along those lines.now seeing as she doesnt 'get' relationships, or characterisation we have a small prob, but im working through that with her, and luckily have all my old english A level stuff hanging around.
either way , she will make it, i will see to that, but if theres somethingn she should be getting then im fighting her corner,