I am not new but I signed up awhile back but never posted anything thought I would post on here in this section to introduce myself. Well, I am Catherine. I am 20 years old. I went to my psych doctor and she brought up that I have some characteristics of Asperger Syndrome. So, I looked it up since I have never heard of it. When I read them I didn't really understand what they meant. Then I asked her some questions, and if some of what I do and did when I was younger is with Aspergers. She said yes. So, then I was interested in learning more. I have been watching videos of people Aspergers, reading a lot and such. I really feel like this is me, like I finally belong somewhere and I am not a total freak in this world. Always thought I was alone and gave excuses I remember other people giving for why they didn't do something but actually I had no idea why I didn't do it. Things such as brushing my teeth but I found out from my doctor because I never made it a routine, so now I have so it is easier to remember I need to do it. I have always tried doing what other people are doing, and when I did I either gave up or just couldn't do it like they do it. I have been made fun of, bullied, beaten up and been in fights but not fighting back since first grade to high school, though now a days I do get made fun of for things, and the most person that rips my heart about is my sister. I get remarks from her such as ret*d, weird, stupid, and such. I do take things to hurt from a lot of people and even though people say don't do it I just can't ignore it. I always knew I was socially different. I have always strayed away from talking to people, I am just a really shy person. It's either I don't communicate at all because I don't know what to say, what they are talking about, what they think is funny or that I just don't even want to try because of past interactions. Sometimes I just like to be alone. I was diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder at 7, which I definitely have all of that. Now I find out, those with Autism/Aspergers have that or some of it as well. I really can't talk to anyone about thinking or knowing I have Aspergers because they either tell me don't put a diagnoses because you don't need one or something about not getting a diagnoses or something. Than other times I get no you don't have it just forget about it you just have characteristics and such. But all the the things I have and all the diagnoses I have had in my life all go in with Aspergers. I did ask my psych is some with Aspergers are immature with certain things. Because for me I act like a kid, like kid stuff and things, but then I can have adult conversations. The only thing I basically don't have is a one interest thing I am interested in. Since I grew up I never really had interests because I was failing at school and all I knew was you need to be smart to go to college and everyone goes to college or at least I was told that. So, since I basically was pushed through the system but wasn't taught the way I needed to be taught or found interests. I have realized through my whole life all I have ever loved was writing, writing poetry, drawing, painting, and photography. I was never a good at writing until I spent more time online, also learned to spell better. I learned that I am a visual learner, and more stuff about me online that I have in high school. I basically have difficulty in social interaction, communication. I was told I have problem in oral expression, I have always. No one really worked with me, what I do is I try, then I give up or write it down or draw it. I thought that all people with Aspergers were smart and new big words, I don't have a big vocabulary I am probably in 6th grade vocabulary though have learned a few new words since high school. That's why I thought I was stupid, college isn't for me since I couldn't even understand high school words and such. I guess this paragraph, is basically a big blob. My apologies. But it's a little bit about me. I mean there's more, but then again I will be posting other threads and such. I will also add I have hypersensitivity to sounds when I was younger I was told I have keen hearing like a dog. I have been diagnosed, but do I need a diagnoses or is it just something I should ignore like other people saying that?
Thanks for reading, for anyone who does read that big paragraph. If you have any questions you can ask? I am on here wanting to talk, read more about autism/aspergers.
Hi everyone!
- Catherine
19 Dec 2009, 3:55 am
