new here (possibly long...sorry in advance)

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I have to say that these past few months have been pretty strange for me. Name is Rob, I am 29, and I am self diagnosed AS (with a posibility of ADD). Living in lovely upstate new york (where it's cold as hell...yay... )I had been always told by my mother that I had a "touch" of autism. Poor social skills (but very advanced speech), problems being touched, and me being a "little professor" were things that she recalls and I never really thought about it until I noticed that nobody thought and acted like me. I always felt like I said the wrong thing at the wrong time...all the time. So I ended up withdrawing and now I have a few friends that I can rely on.

At 6 I wanted to be a paleontologist. That faded and went to flight and flying. loved machinery and construction as well (still do actually). Now I am the resident computer guru/geek that most everyone turns to for computer advice. And yet I don't have a job...go figure.

I guess once I started reading about AS, something eventually clicked. I never knew why people couldn't understand me, or why I would laugh at a joke that only I understood. I am a storage vault of trivia and articles that I can integrate into jokes or make connections to seemingly vastly different things (similar to 6 degress of seperation I guess). People just look at me and say "ok...that's weird". Or I would make an offhand comment about something, and would find out the person would be upset that I had the gaul to actually say it. In my mind I wanted information....no emotion or intent. Just information..Does that make sense?

My social life is pretty much non-existent. I am the ultimate wall flower. I am so adept at blending into a social environment that I swear people accidentally think I am the potted plant in the corner Oh well, I will wrap this up for now. I will probably have alot to talk about in the relationship forum. Not because I am alone, but quite the contrary. I am a swinger/polyamorist (and no I am not lucky...It's been a rollercoaster).

I hope some people can identify with anything that I am saying. finding people that even remotely seem like me is very comforting.

Robert

Hi solidad30, and welcome to WP. There are quite a few people on WP who went through the same discovery process as you. A lot of us went through school before AS was listed in the DSM-IV, and were therefore simply accused of being "intelligent but lazy and antisocial". It was quite a shock for me when I stumbled upon an Asperger website one night (while researching dyslexia) and suddenly my whole life made sense. This discovery has changed my life in many unexpected ways, mainly because it gave me a way of categorizing my social problems and seeing my specific strengths and weaknesses as a pattern. This gives me predictability and confidence because now my problems don't seem to be so random and disconnected from each other. It's taken me almost a year to really make peace with myself and stop thinking about AS all the time. Don't be surprised if you obsess about it for a while.

Welcome solidad30.

I agree with Jetson that you will find many here who share your experience.

I like how you explained the six degrees of separation thing. My son (dx = PDD-NOS) does the same thing. He is 13 though and leaves out the middle steps...people will be taking about "A" and suddenly he will be talking about "F." Everyone thinks its a random thought but its always connected to A somehow, he just neglected to mention the B-E part. When we have time, I ask him to explain his thought process. Its always very logical. Once its explained.

Again, Welcome.

BeeBee

Welcome here, I am new too and I am self-diagnosed for the moment but I took an appointment with a psy and I am on a waiting list... what you described, your life, looks like a lot of us

solidad30 wrote: I hope some people can identify with anything that I am saying. finding people that even remotely seem like me is very comforting.

I first looked into this website because my son was diagnosed with AS two years ago. I've been obsessing on AS for 3 1/2 years, since my husband heard a radio program about AS and we knew that the description fit our son. I didn't think that my son was so unusual because he was so similar to me when I was a small child. I've always known I was different but I accounted this to factors such as religious beliefs, thinking outside of the box, higher intelligence(it's really not that high, though) and my upbringing. But the older I get, the more my differences seem to show. (Or maybe I've grown tired of trying to fit in?) I have not been formally diagnosed but I don't see a reason to have a dx now. My family members have suggested that I was neglected and possibly abused as an infant. I don't know about that because I was adopted at 8 months. I don't think that that would have the impact on me for that long and mimic AS traits. I don't know. I'm not a psychiatrist. I just know that I related so much with my son, that I didn't realize he was that different because I've come to accept myself so well, that I forget that I'm different! I cried when I read these people's comments here on WP. I couldn't believe that so many people were similar to me! Welcome.

BeeBee wrote: He is 13 though and leaves out the middle steps...people will be taking about "A" and suddenly he will be talking about "F." Everyone thinks its a random thought but its always connected to A somehow, he just neglected to mention the B-E part.

My husband does this. It's as though he assumes that everyone already knows what he know about a topic. I thought this was an ADHD trait. He leaves people confused much of the time. They know that he's smart but he can't effectively communicate knowlege. He just thinks that other people are dumb! and can't keep up with up him.

The point a to point f idea is almost spot on to me as well! Never really thought about it that way. I do assume people know certain base pieces of info about people or things and am constantly surprised at what they don't know. About my only real problem is I don't have enough confidence in anything I do to actually take a compliment. Mix that with being an ultra people pleaser and you get a recipe for a door mat. nobody knows that is how I feel, but I suck up alot of pain and discomfort for anyone that needs help. It's a blessing that I am so calm under very stressful situations, but I really don't have much empathy...I just want to calm the situation down...In social situations, I usually have a very hard time. people always want to know how I am feeling, or what's on my mind so you end up either:

A) speaking your mind and hurting someone
B) not speaking your mind and hurting yourself

Usually doing either results in the "why don't you talk about how you are feeling more often." which I then go into people pleaser mode, and give them just what they want. I almost always ommit 70% of what I actually go through. I mean I am not constantly writhing in pain or doing anything obviously noticeable. so when I melt down, alot of times it's just the frustration of knowing that something is wrong and nobody can really easilly help me. Hehe guess I am in a rambling mood. can't wait to start posting stuff...I can't believe how eye opening it is to realize that you aren't crazy. You just happen to mangle your thoughts and spit them out at odd times.

solidad30 wrote: You just happen to mangle your thoughts and spit them out at odd times.

I like that. That should become a new quote, originating fromt the WrongPlanet. In fact, someone should start a thread of AS quotes here.