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Hel
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19 Mar 2006, 3:53 pm

Hey there

My name is Helen and I'm here 'cos I strongly suspect that I have AS, even though I've never been diagnosed.

I'd just like to say that this is the best AS forum I've been to so far, you seem like a really friendly bunch :lol:

My mum and dad both seem to have autistic traits, I think my dad may have aspergers (he has certain obsessive behaviours that drive my mum mad but it hasn't occurred to either of them that autism may be the problem, so I can't talk about it at home which is driving me crazy. I found out that an aunt of mine may be autistic too)...

I never really fitted in at school but everyone I ever met labelled me as shy. The shyness label always felt wrong though. I was bullied more or less non-stop throughout my school life and eventually one of my teachers commented on the fact that I never made eye contact during conversation with people..but still noone mentioned autism.

About six months ago I was talking with friends about a guy we knew who seemed to have autism..it was really strange because I knew next to nothing about autism at the time but it never had occurred to me that autism could be his problem, he was quite clumsy and rude at times and people thought he was a bit 'slow'. Something was bothering me though; I had always felt a natural affinity with him. One of the things we had in common was a tendency to take critcism REALLY personally for example.

I found the autism idea really intriguing and found myself researching it on the internet and what began as an attempt to understand my friend turned into a journey of self-discovery. I knew I didn't have full-blown autism but there was a distinct possibility that I may have aspergers-the more I read about it the more it seemed to fit.

I have issues with personal space, sensitivity to touch and sound (hearing babies and toddlers cry makes me want to rip my ears off), weird phobias (was terrified of butterflies as a child). I have black and white thinking and like my routines. I am very blunt with people and find it near impossible to make small talk...I have always found it really easy to copy pictures and to play piano by ear but I can't compose to save my life...my mum and dad used to joke as a child that they could count the number of foods I would eat on the fingers of one hand. I can't go to the dentist because I have such a sensitive gag reflex I can't stand having his hands in my mouth. There is loads more but I don't want to bore people.

Helen



Morlock
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19 Mar 2006, 4:11 pm

Oh my god. My ex-girlfriend (she's moved away since) is named Helen, but we just called her Hel.



Tequila
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19 Mar 2006, 4:15 pm

Hi Hel. Welcome to WrongPlanet. How's it going? Glad you like it here and I look forward to you contributing on this here forum.



DivaD
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20 Mar 2006, 5:37 pm

hello Hel :D welcome to wrongplanet.

Hel wrote:
I never really fitted in at school but everyone I ever met labelled me as shy. The shyness label always felt wrong though. I was bullied more or less non-stop throughout my school life and eventually one of my teachers commented on the fact that I never made eye contact during conversation with people..but still noone mentioned autism.

same here :( everyone always said i was shy and quiet, but inside i am anything but shy and quiet. it's just that i get overloaded when i'm out and around other people so i always felt forced to keep away. i got bullied a lot too, cos the bullies always pick on someone they can get a reaction out of. and the teachers didn't care to stop them, in fact they bullied me too :evil:
Quote:
I have issues with personal space, sensitivity to touch and sound (hearing babies and toddlers cry makes me want to rip my ears off), weird phobias (was terrified of butterflies as a child). I have black and white thinking and like my routines. I am very blunt with people and find it near impossible to make small talk...I have always found it really easy to copy pictures and to play piano by ear but I can't compose to save my life...my mum and dad used to joke as a child that they could count the number of foods I would eat on the fingers of one hand. I can't go to the dentist because I have such a sensitive gag reflex I can't stand having his hands in my mouth. There is loads more but I don't want to bore people.


i get a lot of that too, especially the sensitivity to sound and needing a lot of personal space (i hate being accidentally touched or bumped into, so need lots of space). i used to be scared of pylons and aerials :? i was and still am a very picky eater.



larsenjw92286
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21 Mar 2006, 5:49 pm

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!


_________________
Jason Larsen
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Bearsac-Debra
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25 Mar 2006, 4:34 am

Welcome to WP

love Bearsac and Debra



renaeden
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25 Mar 2006, 6:52 am

Hello,
You're not boring.
You could have kept writing, it was interesting.
:)



CockneyRebel
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25 Mar 2006, 6:56 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet. :D



Hel
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25 Mar 2006, 9:21 am

Thankyou Renaeden, but you do realise I will take that literally and may write some more now? :lol:

I am not quite so picky with my foods any more, although I am quite a strict vegetarian. I will not eat meat or fish and I try to avoid animal by-products (gelatine, cochineal, leather etc). The thought of eating something that was once alive repulses me.

Actually I wanted to talk a bit more about sensitivity to noise etc as I find this subject fascinating. As I was growing up some of the things my sister would do were unbearable to me. For example she would sit next to me and hum constantly or start to whistle (whistling is one of the noises I can't tolerate). I never really thought there was anything strange about that at the time, it was just annoying and really unfair because I would tell my sister to shut up and then my parents would tell me to stop being so miserable.

The interesting thing is, I think my mum has similar problems to me (although I've never spoken to her about this). She is proud of the fact that she never tolerated screaming or crying from me or my sister when we were growing up..(the thing I am trying to work out is whether we didn't make noise because we were naturally quiet babies/toddlers due to autistic tendencies, or because we learnt that we would be punished for making noise so we were frightened into being quiet all the time). She also used to tell me and my sister off for singing a lot, and would punish us if we made any noise when she was watching tv or reading! My mum and dad are both mystified by "loud people" and frequently comment that they "don't understand why people have to scream" when they go on funfair rides or are scared, in fact they describe such behaviour as "showing off" (???! !)

Noises I find it hard to tolerate include;

Babies/toddlers screaming or crying
Shouting/screaming (thinking about this now, I'm not sure how I ever coped with being in the school playground!)
Loud people generally (I had a occasion recently where I was stuck in a car with noisy people and the car stereo on quite loud at the same time!)
Ice-cream van music
Whistling, humming (if it's out of tune it's doubly painful haha :lol: )
Sirens (ambulance, police etc)
Road drills
Motorbikes
Lorries
The low rumble from some car engines (I don't think it's just a coincidence that I usually wear my walkman when I am out)
Quite loud music or really bassy music, low frequencies (music that is at a comfortable listening level to most people can be unbearably loud to me. I also found out I can hear some frequencies that others don't-we had an animal scarer in the garden that emits frequencies supposedly too high to be heard by people, but I could hear it)
Certain musical instruments-I used to be intolerant to fiddles but since I started listening to folk music this has eased off, interestingly
White noise-I am a really light sleeper, I need things to be really quiet before I can drift off (can't usually sleep in the daytime) and have real problems staying asleep, especially if I am somewhere new or unfamiliar.

I am also sensitive to things like paper and plastic bags being rustled near me if I am really tired or trying to concentrate on something- there was many a time I would be trying to do homework and my sister would get a telling-off from me if she was messing around with plastic bags or similar and I finally think I understand why.

I have problems talking on my mobile if there is anything else going on around me (which kind of defeats the point of having a mobile, if there has to be complete silence around me for me to use it??!). This is also a problem talking on the phone at work. (In fact I hate phones in general). And I get really annoyed when I come into a room and the tv is on too loud. Again other people tend not to have a problem with the volume, which is what makes me think I am sensitive to noise. I can't carry on a conversation with someone if there is music on in the background because I end up focusing on the music..used to think this was because I am a musician but now I look at it a lot differently. I can't shut the music out without a great deal of effort. I can't talk to someone about how my day was if the tv is on, again this would worry my mum when I was younger. Thinking about it one of her main complaints was that I would come in from school and go straight upstairs, I think it was some kind of coping mechanism as I couldn't talk with the tv on or stand too much noise. I am learning surprising stuff about myself all the time, when I took my exams I used to study with music on in the background (what teenager doesn't?) I thought it was helping me but I've since realised that I can't physically do two things at once if I want to do either thing properly. (I understand that, as a woman, I am supposed to be able to multi-task?)

I am fairly sensitive to smell, there have been several occasions that I have been able to smell rotten food in the fridge before anyone else. I gag at the smell of bleach too.

I can't stand it if clothes don't fit properly, it is a nightmare going shopping for shoes etc (especially if the shops are crammed with people or there is nasty music booming out everywhere). I have to pick my shopping days and times very carefully. Labels in clothes make me itch, or more frequently, I get this weird prickly sensation on the back of my neck or waistband...

I would love some feedback from other people regarding this

Cheers