I'm New, But Feel Quite At Home!

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My name is Surreal and I'm an Aspie.

I say that without formal diagnosis and qualify it being reminded of this quote: "When we make the admission, help becomes available."

Until this year, I had no idea that there was such a thing as Asperger's Syndrome. Because of this, I just thought I was a basket case. While I know none of you, I find identification in so many by reading your stories and seeing so much of me in many of your different situations. I have always had Wrong Planet Complex, poor social skills, lack of empathy, and other traits germane to Aspies.

Recently, I took some of the online tests. And before anyone flames me for attempting to use these as a proper diagnosis, I took them simply at face value. I answered the questions as honestly as possible (sometimes not honestly enough).

First, I took the AQ test and got a 35, the next time was 38. I figured, okay, that test can mean any number of things. Then, I took the rdos test. The first time, my Aspie score was 128 while my NT score was 90. The second time (after a week or so), my Aspie score was 146 - my NT score was 75. Obviously, both times, the results said, "You are very likely an Aspie."

Complicating matters is the fact that even a so-called professional could conceivably misdiagnose. Still, at some point, I plan to get a formal diagnosis.

Now, while this might explain a lot of things in my life, let me say that I view these scores with a bit of trepidation as there are some negative implications here as far as the broader society is concerned!

First, there is the label of mental illness and that I have something that needs to be treated/medicated to make me a "NORMAL" human being.

Then, there is the fear of somehow being labeled mentally ret*d; that I will always be considered less than capable as far as mental functioning.

I have already lived with enough labels in my life, whether from family members or some co-workers or others.

One of the things that has been therapeutic for me has been recovery from addiction in a loving and caring environment. It really hels with communication and social skills issues. But even they will acknowledge the fact that we sometimes need to go other places to get at the root of all our problems so that we can try to become whole. I am so grateful, though, that I started there since those problems would only get worse unless or until I sought help there as a starting point.

I started hearing about Asperger's and High Functioning Autism (HFA) on the news and on Yahoo! recently. Then I started doing more in-depth study, only to feel like somebody's been following me around recording things out of my life. I realized that was ridiculous, but I also realized that nothing happens by chance. I heard something on the radio about Asperger's one day and they mentioned WrongPlanet. I've been lurking here for a while, but I actually joined today.

Today, I'm glad to know that I don't suffer from any uniqueness because there is a name for what I might have and there are scores of people who have been where I've been and feel what I feel and go through the things I've experienced.

It's hard for me to feel connected to anything. But when I do get connected it's for something that really means something to me, and WrongPlanet means a lot right now because I'm relieved, but confused...happy, but sad...smiling, but crying inside.

Welcome, don't worry about the professional DX stuff. We don't stand on ritual here. Feel free to poke around a bit ...

^^^^

Oh, now there's a bit of humor! Aspie's not standing on RITUAL!

If you think a DX can be helpful, find a professional who specializes in ASDs. Welcome to WP. Diagnoses or not, it is good to find out about AS when you never knew what was wrong. I found about it when I was 14, and later got a DX.

^^^^

Yes...well...I've already had that sneaking suspicion all along.

But...gee ...t'anks for remindin' me, Mack.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Greetings, fellow-traveler Surreal, and welcome to the Wrong Planet community.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

To WrongPlanet!! !

As for feeling "ret*d" some of us my be excellent in the cognitive functions but
deficient in executive or social areas.....A little something I keep among my notes:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#617364
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#452181
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#452397
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#452511
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#496788
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#512898

richie wrote:

SteveK wrote:

9CatMom wrote:

Some things fit me, others don't.

Things that fit:

-Unusual interests, both in intensity and type
-Ability to organize and remember a great deal of information
-Tendency to be clumsy and do "dumb" stuff, despite being intelligent
-Mild prosopagnosia ("face blindness")-not bad, but enough to be embarrassing
-Uncomfortable in social situations and dislike of crowds and enclosed spaces

Things that don't fit:

-No monotone voice
-I don't think literally. I understand idioms. I couldn't have received a Master's in English without that knowledge. I also know the historical basis of common expressions. All idioms did have a literal, historical basis, so there is nothing wrong with this.
-No serious deficit in self-help skills (except for cooking and driving)

First of all, I don't have a masters degree in English, or deficiencies in cooking. My only deficiency in driving is that I end up giving myself a wide berth. Other than that, you just described ME!

MY definition of monotone might be the same as yours, and apparently is NOT the same as many doctors. THEIR definition is a lack of EMOTIONAL tone. I used to have THAT! I STILL sometimes don't show it.

I ALSO used to think more literally. To a degree, I still do.

As for self help skills..... Aren't AS people supposed to LACK any clinically significant disabilities there?

Steve

Asperger's Syndrome isn't the only form of "High Functioning" Autism.
There is Pervasive Developmental Disorder: Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS)
My speech was delayed and I have intense, almost obsessive interests.
I have excellent low speed dexterity(working with small parts, small precision tools)
Poor high speed dexterity (Typing, playing musical instruments, video games)
Excellent long term memory for facts.
Poor short term memory for names, dates, faces, and tasks.
Some self help skills I learned without difficulty(Like driving, finding employment)
I don't speak in a monotone voice, and I don't have much trouble with idiom.
Some times I do become aphasic, where I cannot connect a 'word' to 'object'.
Am I self diagnosed? Yes. AS and HFA are the only things I know that fit the
descriptions given above. There are many others who have reached the same
conclusions about themselves for the same reasons.

richie wrote:

foreignwoman wrote:

Hello! I also thought I was weird, not in touch with my feelings, frustrated about not being able to connect to people and not knowing why, was called a freak as well at times, and rather hurt by that , didn't think of myself as shy but others did so things just didn't add up Now luckily they do, for me at least. In the workplace people are also a bit mystified, still saying I'm not a good communicator but at least I'm an effective communicator (so I still don't see what the problem is ) But anyway, the struggle to be accepted continues, it just doesn't drain me so much anymore.

I was described as "ret*d", "Brain damaged", or just "different" by many people when I was growing up.
I was always acting silly or "shutting down", I had (and still have) bad motor coordination, stereotypical
motor habits, emotional and mental "meltdowns", and many sensory issues and other co-morbidities,
(ie: tactile hypersensitivity, migraines and bowel problems). Yet I learned to read before the other
students. I excelled in taking math and science exams, but slow in everything else. I was constantly
bullied by classmates. I survived, I graduated high school, learned a trade, got a job, but I was always
the Outsider looking in. I first learned about Asperger Syndrome, and "Higher Functioning" Autism
through various science journals, through WikiPedia I found out about WrongPlanet.
After forty something years I found a home.
By the way Foreignwoman, acceptance among the "normals" and "Neuro-Typicals" is overrated.
"WrongPlanet" is the "Right Address". Welcome!

Yes I am self diagnosed. My first "official" diagnosis was when I was three or four years old.
My foster parents thought I was mentally ret*d. I was either mute or hardly spoke at all,
and it took them almost four years to toilet train me. The doctors thought I was brain damaged
because of poor motor coordination and I was slow in learning new things. I always wanted
(and still do) to be off by myself. Later I went through two other foster homes. Social Services
were trying to have me placed in Willowbrook State School on Staten Island, NY. This was in the
1960s. That institution was eventually shut down because of the terrible abuses going on in there.
For more info on Willowbrook go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School. Fortunately
I was never sent there. My diagnosis was "upgraded" to "Minimal Brain Damage" then later my
I.Q. tested to be 120 or greater depending on the test given or the test conditions. My guardians
kept sending me to one Freudian von Shrinkendork after another trying to find why I "tick but don't
tock, or tock but don't tick". I kept forgetting what I was told to do, had a hard time understanding
people, I did very poorly in school, but I did manage to graduate high school on time. Not many
foster kids got their H.S. diplomas back in the 1970s. And yes I was bullied, and picked on a lot.
I survived. I learned electronics and worked in that field for more than 20 years.
Today I am not working in electronics, I work on a loading dock at a factory that makes windows
for schools, and residential complexes, and other institutional buildings.
As for my condition; I can't stand loud percussive noises, being touched, and sudden or abrupt
changes in my routine. I seem to be here, but my mind or parts thereof are in a different universe.
My left brain could be thinking about the Quadratic Prime Series, at the same time my right brain is thinking about Pentominoes.
Autism is called a spectrum condition because we have different "mental colors, notes, or wavelengths."
I call myself an Autie, I may have some, but not all, characteristics in common with Aspies.

Hi Surreal, welcome to WP. There are a fair number of self-diagnosed people here, so I think you'll find a lot of like minded people. Besides, we have to start somewhere. I felt kind of like you when I started taking the tests but then after awhile, when you've taken just about all of them and excessively marked up a definitive guidebook on AS, there seems to be a clear message.

If you haven't gotten Tony Attwood's book, yet, I highly recommend it. Enjoy WP!!

Thank you everybody.

I'm still sorting through feelings and such, but I'm so glad to be here.

Welcome to WP!

Hello Surreal, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Now that Willard, CockneyRebel, AND Scientist have graced this thread, I feel officially welcomed!

And thanks to ALL of you, every one!

welcome