This is irrelevant to me.

Post Reply New Topic

But perhaps it would be rude if I didn't introduce myself before making other posts?

*Tone of this message: Just honest, not negative, hostile or aggressive*

What is your first name? Chronos

Age: 30

Location: California

Hobbies and Interests: Rocks, numismatic errors, meteorology, fact books, topic of the month.

Why are you here? I have relevant things to say to some people.

When were you diagnosed?(skip if you don't have a disorder):

I don't know. This information was kept from me. I did not find out that it was repeatedly speculated that I might "be autistic", though I could speak, from the age of 2. This was not revealed to me until I was a teenager.

Favorite subjects:No one subject inparticular.

Year/Grade:

Favorite music: Most.

Books: No favorite.

TV shows/Movies: Many.

Instrument:

Do you like sports? Depends.

Family: What about them?

Clothing: Not itchy.

How did you find this website?
I suppose I came across it in a blog, which means it's popular, which means it has taken quite a bit for me to register as I generally despise popular things as popular things attract people, the most of whom are very different than me, meaning that which I am apparently not, meaning "normal". And then I'm surrounded by normal people doing their normal things and thinking in their normal ways, leaving me feeling like a native American in a land overrun by settlers.

Job:

Plans for the future? Exist (tentative of course).

Any comments? I hate the term "aspie" as it is popular. In fact I hate it as much as I hate wool. I do not consider Asperger's Syndrome a syndrome and I do not consider it autism, though I will concede that it is very similar.

Welcome to WP!

Hello Chronos, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

No offense, but hating popular things just because they're popular seems kinda...off, for lack of a better term.

Regardless, welcome to the forum.

Hating instead of loving seems the opposite, but is nearly identical to the latter.

Nice to meet you, Chronos, and welcome to the WP neighborhood.

Autism is a spectrum from low-functioning to high-functioning, which includes numerous conditions that are "similar" but individually categorized.

Two of my three children were concluded Aspergers positive, my 2nd oldest was diagnosed "PDD-NOS with Aspergers-like behaviors". The doc was inconclusive, but certainly she is high-functioning Autistic (in the general sense). Perhaps semantics... it doesn't bother me though, because I realized its not my job to get that through to the minds of schools, family, and others that affect our lives... it is on them, to educate themselves and accept my children and myself, just like we are. No more apologies, and their awkward silence, and fears... are due to their ignorance about neuropsychiatry and modern medicine... science in general.



Welcome.

Last edited by AspieForty on 23 Apr 2010, 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

So when were you formally diagnosed after all this speculation?




People who come here, come looking for a haven, where usually to their great delight, they discover something most of us never knew existed before coming here: Other people who think like we do. Other people who have had the same experiences of having been a loner and an outcast all their lives. Others whose experiences and insights help us learn more about ourselves and how deeply, and in how many subtle and not-so-subtle ways this handicap affects us (and if you think it's not a handicap, you don't truly understand it yet - I promise you it goes far deeper to the core of who you are than you may yet realize).

This place is 'popular' among the unpopular. People come here who have been bullied, abused, discriminated against, ridiculed, figuratively and sometimes literally spit on, and called 'weird' 'lazy', 'stubborn' and/or 'stupid' all their lives for no other reason than that they have a congenital brain disorder that causes them to think and behave slightly askew from the societal norm. This is not The Gap or Hot Topic. I can assure you, you are in no danger of being perceived as 'trendy' for logging on to Wrong Planet.





A lot of Wrong Planeteers dislike the term 'Aspie'. Personally, I can't get worked up about it. It's just a word, and I've been called a hell of a lot worse in my day. In any case, I prefer it to ASS BURGERS and ASS PIE.

I'm sorry to see that you're in such denial over your disability. If you have AS, it's most definitely a syndrome:

Syndrome: a group of symptoms that together are characteristic of a specific disorder, disease, or the like.

Now, I'll grant you AS is not a disease. You don't 'catch' or 'contract' it and there is no cure. It is, however, Autism in the purest sense of the word.

Lack of the natural ability to sense or interpret nonverbal signals and social cues

- folks here on WP are rarely in total consensus about any one issue, but I don't think you'll find many here (other than the NeuroTypical parents and significant others) who would claim that doesn't apply to them. We may have other problems to varying degrees of severity, but I'm pretty sure we're all in agreement that we suck at functioning socially, and it goes way beyond simple 'shyness'.

Welcome to our world, Chronos. None of us was born here, but this is more home than our birth planet has ever been. Here's hoping you feel at home here, too.

Last edited by Willard on 23 Apr 2010, 1:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Publicly ostracized, gossipped about, defamation, libel, slandered as the worst possible diagnosis (because of the stygma, "schizophrenic" is usually their favorite (along with incompetant therapists who totally overlook AUTISM as a possible explanation to quirky behavior issues, are never any help!! and have done wonders at miseducating the public).. and NT's love tacking on "bi-polar" (a mood swing is defined as Aspie arrives in good mood, attempts to socialize among familiar people, and the NT begins hurling an onslaught of personal insults and... when the Aspie gets upset and angry and trouble expressing themselves or managing their emotions... and leaves in a bad mood = ah! we have a "mood swing") -- the worst mis-diagnosis possible, the better .. tacked on just for kicks, never say an NT lacks a "sense of humor" because they get a barrel of laughs preying on the weak, the thrill and entertainment out of bullying people), and, oh yes, not to be forgotten called "the most evil person I ever knew in my life," which leads to exorcisms, etc on superstition and ignorance of the neurotypical clansmen.

You hit the nail on the head... every time I read your posts, I take delight in them.

I have had family... mind you, blood relatives so worked up over my differences... that with an aside to their gossip and slander, would go so far as to file false reports to DSS -- their investigators would come out, and find no substantiation of the claims and close the case, this happened year after year after year... because there was nothing other than a blatant dislike of me as a person (a loner, quiet, unusually "shy" person who didn't want to attend their church but I didn't party either... didn't run with their crowd of friends, namely because I had no friends to speak of... therefore, no witnesses to what was really going on behind closed doors, therefore leaving me vulnerable prey to idle gossip -- strange how some NT's hadn't seen me in two years, and yet, seemed to know everything about my life, and yet, as soon as they opened their mouth already proved they knew nothing beyond idle gossip), the "bad guy" but I wasn't the one in a gang acting like a **BULLY** and... ahhhh, after all these years, Aspergers (18 y.o. daughter) PDD-NOS (12 y.o. daughter) Aspergers (10 y.o. son) -- only diagnosed since late 2009.

Some express a fear of being officially diagnosed.
Can an official diagnosis "hurt you," when the NT Clansmen are trying to rip your family apart?

This week, I set in an IEP with teachers, DSS and supervisor was present, and some so-called advocates who were there to represent me (but they failed to do their job (and are now terminated)). To make a long story short, it was the first time (since getting documented diagnosis for my children), that I have seen people divided on the lines of ignorance and competance... of law, and of civil rights... of justice.

Some in the meeting were "rolling their eyes" (said one source, who attended the meeting), some pointed out "you had the right to a representative" but no representative was present, and I was not even properly informed of my rights by my so-called "advocate"... the third party saw the attitudes, the arrogance, the "inside circle" who have worked diligently to try to drill a wedge between an Autistic mother and her children.
From the get-go, there was deceit on behalf of somebody in the confusion, as to even what kind of meeting it was, but I'm glad the supervisor of DSS was present anyway, to see what DISCRIMINATION against people with Autism is like... and that it is going on in this day and age in the public school system.

It is the first time in my life, I ever remember DSS / Child Protective Services (from upper administration) being so kind to me, and standing beside me to hold my family together.. and personally coming out to offer our family help, and to function as a family.

A very long long nightmare, after so many years of being tormented... that is finally coming to an end.

They have NO EXCUSE for their evil treatment of people. Period.
They know the person is vulnerable and prey on the person... and choose to do it. Unlike Autistic individuals ... these people KNOW FULL WELL what they're doing. They find it amusing. An Autistic person has excuse for thier behavior, but the NT does not. So what does that make them... what is the medical diagnosis and mental illness, for predatory behavior? Not every NT chooses to be a menacing, scheming jerk. Some are really nice, good people. Only a few use their socialization skills to plot, scheme, and manipulate, so what does that make them? Sane?

For kicks, I just dug up an old voice recording of my dear sister (she's a bona fide neurotypical).
Oh, I know... I know... its improper "airing dirty laundry"... but don't they pat backs when you give out brownie points to the in-crowd, but frown on exposing their predatorial cowardice.

Does that mean its the "socially incorrect" thing to do... or perhaps correct, when you move OUTSIDE their limited circle of people, and making an example out of predators...

Takes on a whole new dimension when you're on the receiving end of being socially ostracized and the victim of manipulation and abuse. It's all about "who you know" and who you can put up to doing your dirty underhanded deeds for you. Being an Autistic person, with no "agenda" and no "inside circle" on your side, who's there to pat you on the back at the end of the day? Nobody. The only satisfaction is, "Hey, I haven't got anything to lose by telling the truth about these people."
Oh poor "them". but they never cared the damage they caused me for decades, being the brunt of defamation and slander. Who will apologize to me? Does the in-crowd care about the times they pretended to care, prying for information, so they could pass it along the grapevine... information given to an NT is like ammunition, in their plots and schemes, so the least they know, the better... and all in another failing attempt to split our family apart.

Back in 2007, I was attending college. One class, the main course, fell on two days a week. Monday and Wednesday and lasted from 4 pm until 5 pm. My mom had agreed to baby sit on Monday and Wednesday, from the time the school bus dropped off, to 5 ... and I always came straight back home to pick my kids up. My Mom and Sister plotted to wittle custody of my 2nd daughter from me. Long story.
Why do they hate me so badly? I could never figure it out -- I'm quiet, don't hurt anyone, mind my business... I finally figured it out: They hate us because we're odd... different... Autistic behaviors and wanted to rip our family apart.
This time, to fix my child's "behavior problems", they were arm-twisting, through none other than the school nurse saying the concerta was too high ... so naturally, I passed this along to the Pediatrician. (I'm not quite sure what my sister's role in the background was, but I am positive she worked in the school as assistant to the Principal, and at one time used her influence on the principal to file a false report to DSS -- when the case was closed, the very annoyed DSS investigator told me it was the Principal, and she was tired of people using DSS to hurt innocent people and families -- she observed I loved my kids... I'm not perfect, but the allegations filed against me were untrue), nonetheless so I obliged the school nurse and the Pediatrician adjusted to a lower dose.
Then, my child begin crawling the wall and teacher used it as an excuse (not calling the Pediatrician as they were instructed) rather, they called me to the school and blame me and my parenting -- reduce the concerta -- so she's hyperactive, then say its "my fault" she's acting up, and I should hand my daughter over to my Mom. Yes, the teacher's words, "I feel ... would be better off with her Grandmom."... which the community "in-crowd" of hypocrites and busy-bodies, just love sooooo much. If it weren't for meddling in other people's lives, they wouldn't have a life. The Pediatrician asked WHY if there was a change in behavior, WHY they didn't bother to contact her... the Pediatrician was very annoyed with the secrecy and lack of communication from the school.
But no, they used the situation they created, to say "I feel its better if your daughter is with your mother." In other words, I'm suppose to just give away my child, walk away and let my daughter stay at my Mom's full time... so my Mom can prove to everyone I'm the "county idiot" (never mind that I was scoring between 3.5-4.0 GPA at college at the same time) but in spite of their "inner circle" plotting and scheming I chose to get a community based social worker to coordinate between Pediatrician, School, Parent, and any other concerned party. This social worker was a real threat to my mother's control -- and the family did not want the agency involved. Needless to add, I was reported shortly after by a 2nd sister to DSS, for supposedly having "no electricity" and "no running water". That DSS investigator stayed all of 5 minutes and apologized for wasting my time. Two full-blood sisters terrorizing me and my children... with family like that, who needs enemies?... this recording is the sister who works at the school, and got her NT "friends" at the school to participate in the subtle scheming and plotting:



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDpabSqE7QU[/youtube]

* Deduce from my sister's words... evidently I'm a fit parent to keep my daughter, alllll the time.
** Grandmom cares so little about her own grandchild (retired and nothing else to do with her time) that its a huge imposition to keep the child a couple hours, a couple days per week... but at the same time, desperately wittling through connections to seize full-time custody. (Ironic as heck, isn't it?)... stirring trouble, that I'll have to forfeit college, huh? "Best thing um," is for a single Mom to drop out of college, huh? That's coming from my sister who supposedly works as administrative assistant to the Principal of a public school. "Education First" ... "Education is the Key"... my foot. Everyone deserves to improve their education, their employment... their life, EXCEPT Autistic people.
*** Emphasizing: Sure doesn't sound like Grandmom wants my kids around. And by her own words, I should keep my kids... full-time... because, I am a fit mother.

The whole basis for the phone call was blackmail, using "babysitting" assistance two days a week for a couple hours at Grandmom's, which allowed me to attend college two days a week, used as blackmail, to
1) get rid of the social worker who was straightening things out, without family interference and
2) force me into handing my kid to my Mom.

If I would just hand my child over to my mother -- that way, the whole community would be gossipping and in an uproar what bad, unfit mother I am... that I am too incompetant to even care for my own kids. That kind of gossip has circulated for decades anyway.
My mother did not want community based services intervening. But they DID become involved, and my daughter went from a failing student, to well-adjusted, pulling her grades through the roof. It put the critics on the defense and to back off. We just didn't understand at the time, it was Aspergers/PDD-NOS/Autism going on... underlying all the problems.

Not one of these interfering know-it-all "geniuses" ever once suggested "Autism".
In fact, when it was suggested, everyone went into a state of denial, that no, it just couldn't be... but it was. When all was said and done, three documented verifications by a child autism specialist.

When I called in community based services (just this past year) to get all the kids tested for Autism (I wanted to take no risk of any of them slipping through the cracks)... my Mom was at the helm of planting seeds of doubt, "They're not Aspergers... they're ADHD." (Needless to add, she's had me down for everything from schizophrenic and bi-polar despite having seen psychiatrists in the past who threw out speculation on depression or hallucinations). And even after the documentation were in hand, IN THEIR FACE, on all three children from the evaluator, she STILL DENIED Autism... my aunt recently visited, and when "Autism" was mentioned, my Mom nervously turned away and wouldn't look me in the face... she had spent years slandering (yes, her own daughter) from one end of the county to the other, and years' attempts to get DSS involved (via false reports) to bust our family up and seize custody of my children.

I think the basis for her vindictive vendetta, is that at times, me and my brutal "rude, insensitive" Autism have pointed out her ILLOGICAL HYPOCRISY, and she doesn't like me much as a person. Or, maybe because I don't want to attend HER CHURCH, where she's really made such a big impression and everyone thinks so highly of her... I'm sure she'd like me there, "under her thumb"... the peon who sits in a corner, keeps my mouth shut and doesn't speak except when I'm spoken to... while all glory and praise of God is showered upon her.

Yup, she put my two sisters up to filing false reports to DSS. "Stupid" is not tattooed on my forehead as some people seem to assume in their underestimation about the intelligence in people with Autism. We might have a deficit communicating what's in our mind... but by God, we do indeed have an intelligent functional mind, and are very aware of the sneaky, unscrupulosu things people do, and have done against us. Its called BULLYING (a type of predatorial mental illness in itself).

When the documentation for Autism was in hand, it was the first time DSS was sitting at my side, to defend my rights as a parent. How strange... after all those years of having DSS used as a bullwhip in attempts to destroy our family. In the words of the child protective agent who has been working with us the past month or so, "....as a caring parent....".

My family forgot, DSS keeps records of all those false reports in the past -- alleged against an Autistic Mom. DSS are quite familiar with the mile-long trail of false reports that have been filed and investigated, and closed out as FALSE allegations. Wish they'd turn around and fine people who abuse county agencies, for the purpose of hurting innocent people who just want to be left alone.

Sad, when family members would like to begrudge children of an Autism diagnosis... now, my children will receive the services they need to survive and succeed in school... I have hope now. My children will no longer be pre-disposed to the environment that made school so miserable.
My mother refuses to discuss Autism. She is in denial. My siblings have not made the first friendly phone call, showing any happiness that my kids are now being helped. The family wanted us down, terrorizing us, and split apart. My Mom wanted custody of my children. Employees of the school, friends to my sister, participated at times, with my Mom and Sister's meddling, scheming attempts... to get my children taken from me, working against the family, instead of doing what the school is SUPPOSE TO DO BY LAW.. provide resources necessary to help families succeed. It is called discrimination. I guess AUTISM sounds too innocent, compared to the libelous, slanderous accusations they spread in the community...

I guess in the end, it proves who genuinely loves a child. I am only concerned about their best interests such as their education needs, but some family are deafening silent now... can't stand to see the kids' lives improving.. their needs met... those hopes of "seizing custody" are fading fast. Seems a loving grandma and aunt would be relieved... but like always, I'm on the outside, the blacksheep... and *crickets* ....

Wait till the truth gets out in the community: THE FAMILY WAS AUTISTIC ALL THOSE YEARS... and things begin making sense for the neighbors... loads of hypocrites, liars, slanderers put on the defense.. precisely the reason I wouldn't want to socialize with those people, even if I had socialization skills!! !

Hi Chronos,

Welcome To



This place is inconsistent with any definition of normal, other than a washing machine that happens to have a spin cycle.

Long live Karma
When I was knee high to my Grandpa, I heard somebody say something about a “Golden Rule”. After trying to figure out what in the world this could be, with the imagination running circles around itself.
I had finally got enough courage to ask him, “What is the Golden Rule” – “Have I ever broke it”.
He chuckled a bit and said, “Well, what do you think it could be”?
I had no choice, as usual but to speak without thinking, after all, I’ve been bothered by this riddle for a very long time, at least a half a day.
I said, “Well, I guess it means soft things don’t rust”.
Now that one got a little more than a chuckle. As my eyes widened with wonder and fear, me and all the crickets awaited the answer.
He replied, “What ever you do to others, will be done unto you”. But if you get rusty with people, that means you have not been soft enough to others”.
I said “Wow, is that from the Bible”.
He said, “Yep, but you can’t find it unless you are already looking for it. That is how the bible works, whatever you are looking for, you can find it.
I do not have a very good memory, and I cannot recall very much from my childhood. I can hardly quote a single conversation that I have ever had in all my life. This one however, has been around for decades, and it is all ever so true, to the word.

Are you a Grandpa now?? If not, you should be.

Yes, "long live Karma" -- because it sure wasn't my doing or anything in my power, that began unraveling the mystery of Aspergers in the background, invisible to onlookers... actually, the behavior was vividly visible, but they just didn't recognize it all the years of my life or my 2 daughters -- my oldest girl went 17 years before it was suggested ... and, honestly, if I didn't have a son, what would have been the outcome? I already know, I wouldn't be here right now talking to you. I suppose we'd slipped through the cracks and never got help or a diagnosis. Boys are almost always recognized (due to their aggressiveness), girls are simply ignored.

That Golden Rule also includes forgiveness I suppose... and despite being crucified my entire life, and hated for something I couldn't help, as was pointed out on numerous occasions, conditions like Aspergers are "invisible" -- people look at you, and see nothing wrong with you on the exterior (so there's no breaks... no special treatment), and when you don't live up to their expectations, exhibit quirky/odd behavior, well, it must be a "demon" (bring on the exorcism), or that you're just being "rebellious" "stubborn" or 1001 labels they'll put on you.. and yes, since Willard mentioned it, I do recall once being literally "spit on" -- the same meddling people provoked the confrontation, and I was left standing there, inside my mind, praying "what am I suppose to do? no matter what I do its never right?" I won't say who spit on me, but it was the most hurtful thing in my life.
God knows, it hurts like heck when you're the brunt of ridicule and condemnation, and its not only invisible to people around you, but you dont have a clue yourself... you only "sense" you're different. Especially when "the treatment" comes from people whom, out of the other side of their mouth are saying "Your family are the only ones who will love you." Then turn around and treat you worse than strangers would.

Aspies are vulnerable, they take what people say, literally.... and to heart... they do mental cartwheels trying to establish a "logical line of reasoning" behind what people say and do... and that's a big problem I've dealt with during my life. Some behaviors I've seen in people just cannot be explained logically.
Nieve and too trusting... or finding myself incapable of trusting anymore... all thanks to a couple bad apples. Asperger/Autistic people will eat up manipulation, hook, lie, stinker... when people closest to you, so-called "family" are the source of this fraud:



My brother is deceased, but before he died, he would repeat himself 1000x, wrestling with the question in his mind, "Why would a person tell you:
1. Nobody will ever love you like family, then turns around and says,
2. You're stupid.

He couldn't figure it out. He went over that illogical question, again and again and again. was sort of like Rain Man couldn't figure out "its a joke"...

Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names.
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!

Of all I ever saw from my brother, I seriously believe he was Aspergers too. We'll never know. He could solve the Rubik's cube in record time, draw the U.S. map from memory, knew all the states and capitols, knew all the presidents ... so many amazing things .... but could never understand people. He frustrated his entire life over the illogical nature of people (the bad ones). My Mom often complained my brother had "One friend at a time." He couldn't get along with people. He drove an 18 Wheel Semi "Over the Road", for a living and was very good at it. Nobody was hanging over his shoulder... ideal career for an Aspie, and performed for about 20 years, before his death. He could never figure out people, and would frustrate hours on end, discussing illogical, senseless, ignorant things people say and do. (Pointing out how what they say and do contradicts -- in other words, "Do as I say, not as I do." He was a loner, he was not a happy person. He spent his entire lifie trying to understand the logic of some in our family who swore "but I love you," when they'd turn around and do wretched things... an agenda to control his life. He went out of the world, with those burning questions. He never figured out, "... people do illogical things. No explanation needed for ignorance."

I suppose, since all this stuff was out of my hands in the first place (now in retrospect even seeing my brother was probably Aspergers, never received the first bit of attention for it despite some wildly questionable behaviors he was exhibiting in his late teens -- like busting out all of the windows in the house while my parents / siblings went off on vacation and he was alone), my parents refused to seek any counseling... Autism was never questioned... well, Karma or the good Lord brought it through this far, so... I guess the point is to forgive, and let the Lord bring things to its own completion. What comes around, goes around, but I guess I'm not vindictive... enough will be done, just that my children are going to be helped now... that alone, us being happy, is going to make our enemies, pure miserable.

Life is too short for that kind of hate.
I saw what it did to my brother. He left the world (suicide) with a lot of anger and hatred in him. It's just not worth it.