They're not going away...

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Joined: 21 Aug 2010
Age: 75
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23 Aug 2010, 2:12 pm

At my age I'm pleased to take any opportunity to appear fresh and green, so I'm announcing myself as a WrongPlanet novice.

I came to an awareness of Asperger's through Look Me in the Eye, which immediately struck me as the best book title EVER--and I've read a lot of books. I was surprised that other people didn't seem to find it quite so significant.

In my 40's, I felt pretty well-adjusted, and that all of my symptoms were dead or dying, but 20 years on, they seem to have returned. Perhaps I've been a little too successful for my own good in building a life that kept awkward social situations at bay, and am simply out of practice.

I look forward to learning how you are coping...or not. Thanks in advance.

JetLag
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23 Aug 2010, 2:17 pm

Hello, the_curmudge - and welcome aboard the WP.

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CockneyRebel
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23 Aug 2010, 2:25 pm

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

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Willard
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23 Aug 2010, 2:31 pm

the_curmudge wrote:

In my 40's, I felt pretty well-adjusted, and that all of my symptoms were dead or dying, but 20 years on, they seem to have returned.

Yup, I was pretty functional for a while there in my twenties and thirties - I thought. :oops:

Looking back, I realize I was a blind man driving a car. I could hold the wheel and press the accelerator, but I had no idea what I was running into or over. By golly though, I was gonna go somewhere. :wink:

BTDT
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23 Aug 2010, 2:49 pm

Could that be another difference between NTs and Aspies?--while we can learn to be sociable, we can also lose those skills if we don't use them. With NTs this is hardwired--losing those skills is like losing your right hand--it only happens with severe trauma.

hartzofspace
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23 Aug 2010, 4:27 pm

BTDT wrote:

I don't think it's losing those skills, so much as is is burning out, after years of pretending and frantically trying to adapt or keep up with Nts. At least, that is how it seems to be for myself.

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Tim_Tex
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23 Aug 2010, 4:33 pm

Welcome to WP!

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KyleTheGhost
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24 Aug 2010, 4:20 pm

Welcome!

the_curmudge
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27 Aug 2010, 6:39 pm

Thanks for the welcomes.

I really connect with the idea that after many years of trying to please NTs you just burn out. More and more, as a nigh-on-60 man, I find myself harboring the guilty notion that I must have reached Force of Nature status: if I haven't been changed yet, who's to say that I should be changed, or have any reason to apologize for what I am? Just kindly get out of my way, no hard feelings.

This has done wonders for my shyness, but not my social life.

KyleTheGhost
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28 Aug 2010, 11:16 am

the_curmudge wrote:

Let me something you something: Don't apologize. You are who you are. You really can't please EVERYONE. There will always be someone out there who won't appreciate who we are. Forget about them. They are not worth it. I myself have become less shy since realizing this.

Oren
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