My partner has Asperger Syndrome. We have been together for 24 years, from a time before there was an 'Asperger Syndrome', through self-development work that did nothing to help, through anger and frustration, to by chance hearing a radio programme about a couple so similar to us, then on to tears of relief, support from the NAS and a diagnosis.
But of course the diagnosis is really only the beginning. Six years on my partner is still struggling heroically to undo the harm of 50 years trying to be the same as everyone else, of pretending to understand, of coping with anxiety and the majority's unwillingness or inability to understand. Slowly I am seeing the real person emerge. His health is improving, and his real interests developing, as he begins to value himself for who he is.
But being himself has its cost. He no longer keeps his head down to avoid being noticed. He has begun to fight for his own happiness. He challenges in a way he never has before.
What to say about me in all this? I am fortunate in having an intellectual life that feeds me, enables me to take an interest in many aspects of Aspergers, and gives me a wider view of life. I have work that stimulates me and gives me a sense of achievement. I also have a partner who loves me, even if he can't always say so, and who has never deliberately told me a lie. That means a lot.
Mariececilia
23 Aug 2010, 10:31 am
