Hey all, name's Shaun.
I'm here because iv only just understood I really have got Autism after all these years.
When I was born i couldn't talk, had otehr problems too but excelled at maths, started getting older, became a teen and had to go to a special needs school which was miles away from schools near my house, made friends but as school ended I lost them due to distance issues, few years later I found out my parents had been claiming benefits for me and they put them in my name.
Me and my mum used to go down the job center every year to talk to somone about my apparent (at that time) disabilities and I used to think to myself "yay, I'm glad my mums pretending I got something I haven't, so I don't have to have a job and still get money" as shes there saying lots of profound things, a few years passed, fell in love with someone, have a baby together and I really wanted to start working badly and better myself.. then one day it hit me.. I have Autism.
I'm scared. I have no friends. I feel like a failure. I have nothing to offer life. Will my son f**k up because of me? I feel so alone in all this and feel like everyones laughing.
Sorry this post is so long and that I gave you my life story.
Now, onto some questions:
What does Aspie mean? is it a shortened way of saying Autistic? if so why are we autist or something?
What does NT stand for?
Does anyone know if theres some sort of "new autistics start here and learn stuff" threads?
Also: sorry if this offends anyone but... do you prefer being called spastic or ret*d to instead of autistic? a week ago somone I know said I was autistic and I just couldn't handle it but I wouldn't mind being called spastic or ret*d as much, am I weird?
Sorry I suck and thank you for reading.
TL:DR version: Used to think mum made stuff up about me to doctor so I didnt have to work but realized it's all true and am heartbroken.
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Nirvana - Dumb - Story of my life.
29 Sep 2010, 2:40 pm
