Hello + sharing experiences of my childhood

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Afternoon all,

I'm sitting here because I'm currently off work with a nasty bug, and I've been reading various things over the past fortnight, which lead me to
believe that Aspergers would quite accurately explain away much of my bizarre experience of childhood, and to a lesser extent my adult life. This
may or may not be the case, but the more I discuss this with one of my best friends whose eldest son (6) has just been diagnosed, and two other
lads from my uni (both also called Mike, funnily enough), the more all of our experiences sound remarkably familiar. We're all very high-functioning, and have
been involved in IT to some degree, but have all been beset by profound social retardation at some point.

I've just turned 30, and notwithstanding the chronic anxiety and occasional bouts of depression, which have bothered me since I can remember, I'm generally doing alright. So,
I just thought I'd share a few things with you lot, in case it sounds familiar, or helps anybody.

Things I remember:

I am, and was of above-average intelligence. This was recognised quite early, and to some extent, my teachers treated me as some kind of "genius child", for better or worse. Apparently, I
taught myself to read and write before I went to school, and I remember teaching myself to programme computers in BASIC, from a book, around the age of 6. My father
worked in electronics/IT involved in weapons development around the time, and some of my earliest memories are of pushing buttons on a computer. That began two
of my major obsessions, which lasted many years, notably computer programming (I was particularly interested in cryptography), and later, trying to calculate the trajectories
of planets and satellites. I read everything in the house, including, I particularly remember, "Janes Weapons Systems 1976" and could recall just about anything from there,
particularly to do with surface-to-air missiles. I cleaned out the entire local library's astronomy section, and moved on to the bigger municipal one, and was particularly fascinated
by my mum's medical dictionary, which I would sneak off to my room, and try to read surreptitiously. I would talk floridly to people especially at school about these things, even
when - I now realise - it was obvious they didn't care and would prefer I shut up.

I also developed an odd fascination with keeping lists and records of things, and at one point spent many months waking up at 5am, in preparation to record the shipping forecast
in one of my many notepads. I never did anything with it. I just liked having the information "there". I suppose I still do this, to an extent, and fanatically hoard things I will never need,
like obscure language learning materials (anybody want to borrow a Lithuanian course), just because I like having it there, "in case it's necessary".

My parents recall in particular, that for a long time, perhaps until I was 7, I refused to take fluids from ANY vessel, except for a specific blue cup with a lid and a little funnel thing on it,
and would deprive myself of water for over a day if necessary, to avoid drinking from anything else.

I remember in my first year at primary school, being physically attacked en masse by groups of boys for no reason that I can remember, until I briefly developed a vicious temper
and would lash out indiscriminately at people, which seemed to stop it. Thereafter, I can only remember having two friends, Sean and Lewis, both of whom in hindsight, seemed very
similar to me, and I somehow managed to engage them pretty much every breaktime for what must have been a couple of years, in a never-ending group fantasy about how we
were going to construct a secret network of tunnels under the village, for no particular reason, other than it would be "cool", and we could hide there. Other people seemed completely
alien, and I had difficulty relating to them on any particular level. After a couple of years with them, Lewis moved away, and I met another Polish lad named Matthew... I've only just
remembered about him. Again... thinking back, whenever I used to visit him at his house, we would always play the same "game", which basically involved arranging all his Transformers
toys across the floor of his room... I don't think we ever thought past that.

I dunno... middle school was remarkably similar. For some reason - possibly because I gave a "talk" about "my hobbies" in front of the school, along with two other lads, at the beginning of year 9,
and had a mini-rant about astronomy - I quickly acquired the nickname "Einstein" (which I have only recently learnt to accept as a compliment, especially since it was usually used with intended
malice, in that way that children do), and generally shunned as "weird", by all but about two people again. Physical onset of puberty hit me quite early, and I remember having proper facial hair by
the time I was 11 or so, and I became aware of women, but as far as I can remember, never made any attempt to communicate with them in any serious way. (More about this later).

I don't recall having any general social awareness so to speak, until at least the age of 13-14, at my grammar school, when I suddenly began to learn to adapt. This was in no small part because
I'd consciously decided to try to read as much as possible about psychology, and things like interpreting body-language, and also because of the advent of packet radio, and later the internet.

I thank the internet for saving me, basically. I've always been able better to express myself in print than I have in person, and it was through the medium of writing to people across the world
(also combining my obsession with computers, and electronics at the time), about such things as physics and so forth, that I believe I learnt to relate to other people in a more conventional way,
to the point where I'm reasonably "normal" and can hold down a sales job, as an adult, and seriously think about getting into counselling.

I'm going to leave this here, since I have an appointment with the doctor, but I can continue later, if anybody is interested.

That was quite cathartic anyway, and it's served my purpose. Feel free to let me know, if anybody recognises themselves in there

Regards,

Michael. x

Welcome to WP!

I always wanted tunnels through the house, about 2' tall, so that only I was small enough to fit through them. I used to map out the hedges around the house (I lived in the country side and had a 'play ground' (farmers' fields) of about 2 square miles). I never could read that well, but studied cryptography and made a phoenetic language when I was 13 so I could write properly. I was the only one who could read it, but I suppose I've always considered that beside the point.

I've always picked up the guides as well. I had guides to speaking Hindi and for making bombs and surviving holocausts, . . . just in case I decide to start some international terrorism . . .

The violence sounds useful. I wish I'd developed that but lost it at about age seven after attacking a number of nurses.

Speak on Mick. . . .

Greetings and welcome to the WP neighborhood, Michael.

Cheers guys. Will write more in a wee bit. Just watching a film.

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Welcome!

To WrongPlanet!! !