Everything you didn't want to know about Omnicognic (Long)

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Everything you ever didn't want to know about Omnicognic, but were afraid someone would ask!

WARNING: This is a long boring post, hit your back button now.


This post is an exercise to develop awareness of myself and perhaps how others see me, this was not my idea. I am to post a brutally honest description of myself and then read it back as though it was about someone else. I asked couldn't I just do this on notepad, privately? No. (why would make this post time out long before I could finish it)

Ok, lets get to it.. I'm going to break it into sections, because I can't sit through a wall of text, even if I wrote it.

Hello, my real name is Rob.

I'm egotistical: I love to be complimented (and brag) and I have a bad habit of believing I'm smarter than most of the people I talk to and I don't suffer fools well. I especially find those who believe they're intelligent but aren't particularly annoying.(ironically, I'm probably one of these, but I'm too narrow minded to realize it)

I'm selfish: This goes with the above, I feel like everything revolves around me, I'm not interested in anyones opinion unless it is something about me or of one of my interests. (this assignment is going to be tougher than i thought.. the truth hurts)

I'm a bully when I drive: I am an offensive driver, when merging in traffic I will force my way in, (they tap the brakes or I tap them) I am also prone to road rage and have done some really nasty things to other drivers (who drove and acted like me) In my car, I'm a totally different person.

I'm vindictive: If I am crossed or wronged, I will get even, whether that person knows it came from me or not. example: I had a boss who chewed me out for something that I had nothing to do with, in front of everyone at work. he should have called me in the office to discuss it calmly and I could have explained that I wasn't even here the day that happened. 2 days later, I got his Preparation H, squeezed out the tube and refilled it with Ben Gay..

I procrastinate: I was supposed to do this post a week ago. I refuse to blame everything on my AS! All the time I spend on here, while I put off doing other things, I could have made this post. I can and will deliberately forget things.(put them out of my mind and poof! gone!)

I'm stubborn: I'm set in my ways, the more I am pushed, the more I dig in.

I'm cold and unfeeling: 90% of the time, I am without emotion cold and logical. I feel no love nor hate for anyone or anything. I value things(and people) that have some utility to me. My family gets angry when I toss out some useless knick-knack from an expired relative because it was supposed to have some emotional attachment to it. I maintain contact with people rarely, I have 2 friends, both I have known for 20 years. One is one of those overly empathetic people, and he likes to hang out sometimes. He is intelligent in an empathetic way and always knows what people think. The other is like me, I believe he has AS and is eccentric but intelligent, and we share an interest in invention. However, if either one failed to continue to contact me, then I would never see them.. I just don't miss people.

That's all the bad stuff I can think of at the moment, when more comes to mind, I'll add it to the list. Now the good stuff (this may be the hardest yet)

I'm honest: I have no reason to lie, steal, cheat etc. I was brought up with one most important value: Honor. Your privacy, your money, your home, your life can be taken.. but only you can throw away your honor.. along with honor, despite being egotistical, I will admit when I do make a mistake, even if I'm the only one who notices.

I'm Generous: (sometimes) For many years, I donated platelets every 2 weeks. This is a more involved process than simple blood donation, they take it out of one arm and after seperating the red blood from the platelets, it goes back in the other arm. The needles are bigger, and you have to stay motionless for over an hour. because platelets are replaced faster than red blood cells, I could donate more often. Despite my aggressive driving, I'm often stopping in heavy traffic to let people in who otherwise would sit there for an hour waiting to get in.. I hold the door for strangers.. I like to treat the family when I have a few dollars extra..

I have pride in my work: I don't believe in just enough.. I believe if you are going to do something, do it correctly (when possible)

I'm fair: I don't judge anyone by appearance, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else.. before getting to know them first. If I dislike a person, it's personal, not because they fall into some false 'grouping' Don't ding me for what I said above about not suffering fools, there are many people who may score low on an IQ test, but that doesn't make them fools, there are many types of intelligence well beyond what can be tested, I met many brilliant kids while volunteering at the special olymics, kids that many in the mainstream would call something hurtful like "ret*d" without taking the time to talk to them.

Ok, a little history: I was a military brat, Dad was Air Force, and we moved every 3 years or so.. family was Mom, Dad and a brother 10 years older than me.. I never was popular, I had a intense interest in aerodynamics, and had planned on being an aeronautical engineer.. I built model planes (the flying kind) but mine were different, everyone said they flew backwards (now they call those planes 'canard planes' the canard being the small wing in front with the main wing in the rear) later my Dad started taking my planes and putting them up in boxes.. some of todays new stealth drones look a lot like some of the models I made back then( I'm not saying they stole my designs, just that great minds often think alike)
I was already seeing therapists for my school problems at this point.. they said I had depression. My parents split when I was 12, I initially went to live with my mom, but another Doctor thought I should live with Dad.. that was a mistake.. It was a non stop argument the 4 years I lived there.. I went back to live with Mom.
Special interests: My interest turned to propulsion systems, poor performance at school killed the idea of becoming an engineer.. I came up with an idea for a reactionless thruster, totally original, novel idea.. I rebuilt and redesigned it again and again over the years until I sat on it too long( from '91 until '02) and then I ran across an article about a new nearly identical device. (couple years later, they were testing it for manuvering on the ISS)
I was crushed and sank into such a deep dark place that I cannot even remember those 4 months.. lost my job, house, car, and my Mom and brother had to come get us and move us to my Mom's house.. as you can see, my obsessions dominated my existence. As aspie trait's go, mine are mostly mild, others are under control willfully, yet others I'm working on.. but my obsessions are my most serious problem. but they might be my greatest asset. Besides WP, my current obsessions revolve around energy, particularly plasma and hot fusion.(NOT COLD FUSION) I have had some very interesting results (and spectacular failures lol) When I get a bit of extra cash I'll get some patent protection and then I can talk about my favorite topic until you guys all fall asleep on your keyboards..

There is a lot more to say, but I think I have said enough for now.. I may come back to this post and tell you guys about how I and a buddy survived a plane crash in a plane just like those "backward planes" I made as a kid..

THIS POST IS UNFINISHED, I HAVE A LOT MORE TO ADD... BOTH GOOD AND BAD..
Please don't flame me on this post, it is not an attempt at attention or sympathy but an assignment.. I will finish it in a little at a time..

Last edited by Omnicognic on 21 Oct 2010, 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome aboard the Wrong Planet, Omnicognic.

Welcome to wrong planet. I sometimes merge aggressively but have become more cautious as I've gotten more experienced operating motor vehicles.

I had to be dragged kicking and screaming (not quite literally) to learn to drive as a teen, I was terrified learning to drive with one of my parents in the car. Once I got my license and started driving on my own, it was different and I got better. I made some blunders(some serious) but I learned from those. My first job was driving (delivering papers) and had many other delivery jobs since. I think that its how much time behind the wheel that makes me feel so at home driving.

As for the original post, I both got writers block and a RL issue to take care of, and I will complete the epic later tonight (as long as nothing else blows up)

Welcome

May I copy-paste your listing of your features for my presentation post? I haven't done it yet

just joking but this is the way I am too, these are the trait I don't usually talk about, the difference is in the country, the family background, the nature of hard experiences... all the rest. I am still waiting for my post, another difference is I'm waiting till ideas will sediment, I want to see the structure in me.

I understand you were kidding, however anything I put on this site that might help someone else, I have no problem sharing.

I'm not proud of many of the items on the list, but admitting that I have the problem is a step toward correcting it. I never went to AA but if I'm not mistaken its one of their princples as well.. I can not allow myself to blame my AS for my problems either

It is unfortunate, but if I allow myself an excuse to fail, I will.

This assignment is an exercise intended to redeem my lost sense of self following my recent diagnosis and thereby redeem my self esteem. There is a lot more to write, as far as attributes go, good and bad. There seems to be more bad than good up there because of a negative feeling toward myself when I started writing it(I was wallowing in self pity) when I can start thinking positive, I will be able to think of more positive items to list..

Take care and good luck, I have a busy day ahead of me today and probably won't have time to work on this until later this evening.

Welcome!

A very special Welkome to WrongPlanet, with a K.

The WP Kink

I really like your post. It takes a lot of courage to highlight your flaws...and also your strengths.

Wow.