Hi everyone, thought I would stop lurking and introduce myself.
I am a 41 year old male frm the UK, I am married and in full time employment, I have two daughters age 3 and 5. I am currently signed off work with stress after having a mental breakdown. Through 6 free counselling sessions provided by my work benefits I have been informal diagnosed as having Aspergers, I am currently working on getting a formal diagnosis. I am also planning personal counselling though Relate but hope to access NHS counselling shortly after a diagnosis as I cannot afford long term private counselling.
A few years ago my edlest daughter was clinically diagnosed with Semantic Pragmatic Disorder and my wife and I now realise this is very likely Aspergers rather than just SPD. My wife and youngest daughter are NT as is my brother. My father, mother and several relatives on my mothers side are very likely AS.
I am working with my employer about coming back to work and have attended some meetings to start to plan a long term strategy to get support in my role which is fairly stressful, in the meantime they are recruiting a secondment to support me and allow me to return full time so they seem to be doing the right thing by me, I am unsure as to whether I should broach the Aspergers with them but a formal diagnosis is something I need as an individual in order to have some structure around the rest of my life and to have in my back pocket in case HR start playing silly buggers.
I always knew there was something not right upstairs, mainly with the social interaction, not having a social network, no friends and no support, no desire to work on and mantain friendships but also though compusive behaviour, hypersensitivity to noise/multiple conversations streams. In addition I have little or no empathy in most situations (scored a 10), so for example if my daughter trips and falls on the stairs trying to carry something which is clearly too large, I am annoyed first that she tried, and concerned for her wellbeing second, rather than the other way around.
Lastly, I have had barrier issues in terms of what's appropriate most of my life. Thoughout my teens and adult life I have been overly receptive to anyone who shows interest in me - far more than a normal person would, and my lack of awareness of acceptable social barriers has led to some embarrasing and awkward situations.
I drive (car, motorcycle, pushbike).
There, that's about all I can let out for now but it feels good to have shared. I have to say what a huge relief it is for me to finally understand that there is a reason why I am the way I am and that it's ok to be that way. I feel sadness for the way things could have been had I known earlier (espec around daughter), and this sometimes leads me into deeply depressive states (hello temazepam). I am currently stressed and anxious about my employment situation and what the future holds there, I think my management position is untenable, or at least not advancable in terms of career and I am actually happy about this as I am not ambitious, I just want a secure income for my family and routine in my life.
I am going though some hard emotional and mental turmoil at the moment which I hope I can open up about later, but in the meantime, if anyone has questins for a married middle aged aspie with kids fire away.
bathtub
22 Oct 2010, 9:43 am
