New, Alone and done with Aspie dating

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Joined: 19 Apr 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: Akron, Ohio

29 Oct 2010, 2:24 pm

Hi I'm mostly new here. I was on this forum for awhile a few years ago, I mainly used the dating site I guess and met someone on there. We just ended our relationship after an abusive three years of hell. I am hurting really bad and I have few friends. My diagnoses are Asperger's and Bipolar. I guess the Bipolar and our Asperger's combined made us clash so bad things had to end painfully. I am lost now and wondering if I can ever meet someone again. I decided now that I am against dating another Aspie because of what I went through. I don't say this because I am against Aspies, but because it's hard to date someone else with the same disorder due to the empathy shield my ex and myself had. I would, on the other had love to make Aspie friends, so I decided to come to this forum and hopefully will become an active poster here.

KyleTheGhost
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29 Oct 2010, 2:31 pm

Welcome!

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LittleTigger
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29 Oct 2010, 2:51 pm

I gave up on dating as well, it was a waster
of time.

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Brainfre3ze_93
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29 Oct 2010, 3:25 pm

Welcome!

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ZakFiend
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29 Oct 2010, 7:01 pm

VanitySmiles wrote:

Just remember - aspies are ALL different, the symptoms tend to cause people to think they are "similar" just because diagnostic criteria lists some common traits but we ALL have tonnes of common traits we don't list between human beings.

Do we list the fact we all have brains, 10 fingers, two feet, two hands, knees, shoulder bones, etc... and think we are all the same because we share those in common?

People tend to focus on what is listed but what is not and it gives a false impression of similarity that is unjustified.

JetLag
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29 Oct 2010, 7:11 pm

Glad to meet you, VanitySmiles - and welcome greetings to the Wrong Planet neighborhood.

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Tim_Tex
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29 Oct 2010, 9:28 pm

Welcome to WP!

The thing with AS-AS relationships is that they're not for everybody. Sometimes they can work because of mutual understanding because of having the same disorder, but sometimes they fail because one or both partners are too rigid about certain things and are unwilling to compromise.

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richie
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30 Oct 2010, 5:24 pm

To WrongPlanet!! !

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Snacky
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31 Oct 2010, 1:03 am

Richie:

I'm sorry, but is your signature an SMBC/Zachary Weiner reference? If so, bravo sir.

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Blake_be_cool
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31 Oct 2010, 2:50 am

Welcome!

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AspieLover2
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31 Oct 2010, 4:27 am

Hi VanitySmiles,

Dating in general is difficult, whether an Aspie, Bipolar, etc. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. I do know what you are going through in regards to the pain associated with losing someone you loved/cared about immensely. I am a neurotypical. My Aspie boyfriend just broke up with me. (We had only dated about 4 months but I was really, really smitten with him). He broke up with me because of his crazy ex-wife. Talk about heartbroken, I really, really loved this guy for who he was as a person. I had never dated an Aspie before and I found his qualities endearing. I believe he really wanted to be with me, but that his crazy ex-wife (he had only been divorced a year and 2 months) threatened to take their two very young boys as far away from him as the Courts would allow. His boys were number one to him and he couldn't handle the thought of losing his children in such a way. Anyway, my point is, hang in there, it looks like you are on a good site (although I have limited history here as I just joined today) and stay strong. My advice would be to have no contact with him for 60 days and just heal. I am truly sorry for your pain. It will get better.

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