Last night I pretented to be.

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Hi,

I noted that the shrink, kept asking me the same questions, but wasn't understanding 'me', I'd asked for them to ask me to 'explain myself' and all kinds of stuff like that.

I realised that she was asking' selfish' questions, trying to get me to show 'myself', but thought I was 'mad' because I was clearly self aware, but never 'appeared' to talk about myself. I was , she was just not listening.
You can tell very little, less modality, by comparing transcendental measurements.

So I thought about that, and some other stuff, and all the things I'd talked to people about, in attempts to understand 'themselves'

I have now shrunk the to:

insite:

Just because you can't see myself, it does not mean I am not showing it to you, or I am not aware of myself, in my 'selfless ness',

I am not selfless, I treat others as I do myself. I am 'fully' aware of myself. I'm sure I've told you and many others.

Why would you give me nedication that you give to people who attach them-selves onto things, a little too much? Medication to further remove self.

The 'test' for self awareness is to put a stop on something, and see if that thing notices the spot, usually rubs it off.
You have put a spot on me, and I have put a spot on you. What does that tell you. I am aware of myself as I am of others.

Bi-polar, hiding and showing ones self.
Autistic spectrum / ADHD (crudly) [selfless]ness, and the brain compensating by encouraging the self, need for encouragement.
Psychopath, self indulgence.
Scitzoid: Attaching ones self to things (this may, if the wrong questions are asked seem like Autistic Spectrum ADHD and visa-versa. But the clue is in the self)
Depression: Hiding ones self.
Mania: Showing ones self.

I am not depressed, that's why medication for people who hide themselves, I started to show myself far too much and got manic.
In my head is a land called paradise.

Do not give me medication to rid myself, to wipe the inconvenient truth away.

You can't learn anything from transcendental measurements, except possibly some modality, but not nature.



After having a 'little' difficulty with the shrink. I thought I pretend to be 'Charles Manson', well see if I could work out the communication problems he seems to be having.

Well, imagine a very sweet tasting beer, intoxicating sweet, lots of women, a perfect society.
Would that beer not attract wasps?
Who get drunk on the intoxicating beer and then go round stinging people?

Hi Oliver.

Again, you've written something that intrigues me, though I can't pretend I understood it all.

I have a friend who is convinced that I am like this, having no self... it's interesting.

A lot of this 'selflessness' thing sounds like what the Hindu and Buddhist yogi's are actually aiming for...

I once read an interesting blog post about Manson, I link it for you here. The speculation seems to centre around whether he was in fact 'authentically' 'spiritually' realized.

"Psychopaths can have transcendent experiences"

http://uroboros.wordpress.com/2005/07/0 ... 580130474/

Hope some of this is relevant.

All the best.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome!

I've done some more work...

Talked to some more people. and got a bit of a better understanding of things (I hope).

Anyhow, here's some reports of the language that the 'quack' has used:
She has used the following language.


What ever you 'feeel' (drawn out feeeeel), not 'what ever you like'
'Gooood' (drawn out oooo), not 'well done'.
'He does not want to change his lifestyle' (on my medical records),
which was a lie, I said I wanted to loose a lot of weight and do much more exercise, went of the fitness for health programme etc...
"Thank God I did not do that" (so who does she think of when things go 'wrong', is she a 'vector' for gods work?)

"What's wrong with tap water", again another personal preference, putting herself before me, not treating me as an individual, expressing personal lifestyle judgements and therefore judgements based on my 'lifestyle', whatever she thinks that is.
"Not, it may benefit you if you drink more water", or "your level of drinking [alcohol/fruit juice whatever] may be affecting your health"

'I am glad to see you are working', not 'do you enjoy working, is it causing you any problems, are you getting on ok?'


My partner stopped coming to sessions with her, with me as my partner says she found her 'patronising'
Putting herself before us.

she said to a friend, whilst in hospital [after spotting a hole in the matrix], 'I have been in this 'game' for a very long time'.

here are my med comments:

Ok SSRI side efects:

Became 'less self concious', so more concious of others.
Hence seeing body language, being able to 'read between the lines'
and Anxiety

My levels of self consciousness are perfectly fine, I am perfectly conscious of my self, and would not want to be any more selfish, to that regard.
That may be a 'personal aspiration' of the shrink or a apparent 'humanitarian' objective, but not one which I feel others would desire.
Why would I my self want to do things that others would not find desirable. That would or could causes damage to myself.
I am absolutely perfectly self conscious.

Maybe taking some MDMA or something, and having that experience for a short while, and not affecting homoeostasis may be beneficial.


The medication she proscribed lowered serotonin levels, which by my understanding of the effects on the medication on me.
A sample size of 1 but also of 100% would make me more self conscious.
That would cause me sevear distress, and worsen my condition / problems. (I'm not selfish, last time I took something that had that effect, I had a 1/2 day breakdown afterwards)

It also lowered dompanie levels, and I know the effects that had on me. Selfish, stupid, confused, unaware, thought less. And no pleasure.

So it would appear that her proscription was an attempt to make me selfish, stupid and unaware, thoughtless. Whilst continuously seeking out pleasure.


That's one hell of a dangerous mix if you ask me.

Infact, I've found I've found that thing that give me 'more pleasure'
and make me 'more aware' and less 'stupid' and less 'selfish conscious' (anxious) work the best.

SSRIs do work to that extent, but I do not like the effects on homoeostasis, the effects of exacerbated continuous incremental elevation push things too far the wrong way
(since I am also naturally, as concious of other as I am myself),
combined with the long half life (effects on homeostasis) and onset of the drugs (control).
Such drugs can only be dangerous and make people problems significantly worse in the long run.

As I have said, fast onset, self limiting drugs, that any effect on homoeostasis is to make the body produce more serotonin, would be an amazing option, if they weren't prohibited
(possibly because their ain't no money in drugs that actually work)

If you think about that kind of action, it's exactly what the body does. A short burst, and release of chemicals and hormones.

Where as, something like post traumatic stress disorder, is caused when that release goes on longer than the usual 'short' burst.



I would proscribe the following treatment programme for myself.
A mixed amount of 'self indulgence', on occasion with others and strangers.

This would give me 'stimulation', the 'stimulation' I am somewhat lacking,
whilst not through excessive, doped up, introspection. (that's what Cannabis does, make you more 'focused'. I don't really like smoking weed).

It would also help elevated any anxiety problems I may have with others, due to desensitisation,
and also help improve personal bonds with people.

When 'self awareness' causes me issues (I can't see the wood for the trees), I have found ketamine, something which increases 'concentration',
you are conscious of a greater concentration of yourself. Sorts 'nagging' problems with self awareness out. I have third party research to that effect, and treatment programmes of 'that' nature are already in progress around the world.

Unfortunately, phantom pain in the leg has not been linked to 'nagging' in the brain in a direct way.
A holistic approach [like in china] and interpretation has not been used. But individual treatment programmes of that type are currently being practised following 'research'
The body is a very holistic thing.