Hi, I'm new here

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Hi, I'm Megan. I'm a college freshman. So I just recently decided/realized/accepted that I have Asperger's (2 days ago actually), and since then I have been searching for information from an Aspie's perspective, so here I am. I guess I would say I have moderate AS. I read about people who are more Aspie-like than me, and I think maybe I'm not after all, but then I compare myself to my NT friends and tell myself "oh yes I am!" lol. Anyway, I'm self-diagnosed, although I have been officially diagnosed Social Anxiety Disorder, and I'm sure I have that sensory processing thing I can't remember the name of at the moment. I like to think I'm pretty good at "playing NT" although I have no proof of this theory. I believe it was about 5 years ago my mom told me she thought I had Asperger's and to say the least I didn't take it well. It was too soon after the "I think you have depression, so we're going to put you on drugs that completely mess with your head and are proven to increase suicidal tendencies in teens." TMI? oh well. I'm really excited about being a part of this Aspie community. I feel such a sense of connection with you guys already. Do you have any suggestions on how to tell family members and friends? I know the family members I care about won't change how they treat me, but I'm afraid my mom will discuss it with her friends and then either they will treat me like I'm defective, or they will gossip about it until it is general knowledge, and then people who barely know me will judge me by the stereotypes. I'm a little worried that my friends won't feel they can relate to me, or they will stop inviting me to events out of concern for me. Does that make sense? I think they will try to be sensitive and helpful, but I'm afraid it will change things I like about the relationship. I have so many questions and my mind is running extra fast, but I think that's good for a start.

Welcome to WP!

Yes: don't ... for now. It's been two days. Maybe take a little time, sit with this for a while, just let it sink in. Let your mind calm down a bit, and you'll make much better decisions in this regard. If you have AS, then you've had it all your life -- and it's not going anywhere now. So, there's really no rush.

Now, I know this isn't advice on exactly "how" -- but it is a part of "how," believe me. Once you disclose you can't take it back, no matter how much you regret it. And you lose control of that information as you illustrate with your mom scenario. Better to err on the side of keeping this to yourself for the time being. It's not like there's some narrow window of opportunity that's going to shut if you don't act immediately.

That was pretty much my thought, but just so I can have information and ideas so I can start preparing for that conversation. I have a feeling they might start to notice because I have decided that I am going to embrace this special ability now that I know what it is, and stop conforming to *some* of the societal expectations, such as I won't force myself to go to as many social events just for the heck of going out. I won't stop talking to people or let myself regress in social skills, but I might start using stimming as a stress reliever reguardless of if people think it's weird.

Hmmm... Confused about a couple things:

What special ability?


The way you put this doesn't make very much sense to me. Stimming isn't like having a drink after work. What do you mean exactly? Can you phrase it differently?

My ability of thinking differently from everyone else.

Maybe that was poor phrasing on the stimming thing, ummmmm, well I used to do it when I would get stressed out and it seemed to help, but then my mom started physically stopping me from what I was doing, so I stopped doing it to avoid punishment. To me, it seemed like repetitive motions over a period of time would take my stress level back down to whatever it was before the specific event that stressed me out. But without it, my stress level would not go back down, it would just keep creeping up with every stressful situation until I had a meltdown. Does that make more sense?

I just did some quick research on stimming to make sure I know what I'm talking about, and what I said above seems consistent with other people's experiences. It seems to me that 30 minutes spent hand flapping or pacing would be better than an entire weekend of being mopey and crying and avoiding people completely.

Hello and welcome to WrongPlanet Megz

I think RainingRoses gave you a good advice, its probably the best thing to do for the time being.

Shadi

Welcome!

Welcome to the Wrong Planet neighborhood, Megan.

Howdy partner to this wacky planet called WrongPlanet invented by Sir Alex Plank, care for a free muffin fellow new member?

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink