Hello, people. I am D84. I am a robot. (Not really. I just find it soothing to think of myself as logical and emotionless.) I am a recovering Californian, now living in beautiful Minneapolis. Considering that I'm in the middle of my first Minnesota winter and I'm actually enjoying it, I think it's safe to say that I'll like it here.
I was diagnosed with Asperger's in high school by my mother (a psychologist). At that age, when I heard “Asperger's”, I thought “autistic”, which I associated with never speaking but tapping out a constant rhythm with spoons, or knowing the precise crash histories of all the major airlines. (Yes, I am a movie buff. Why do you ask?) Neither of those descriptions fit me, so I disregarded the diagnosis from my mother. And the later one from my therapist. And the later one from the U. S. government, which qualified me for disability payments. I assumed that none of them knew what they were talking about. As I imagine y'all will learn, I am equal parts stubborn and dumb.
There was no “Eureka!” moment where I suddenly realized that yes, all these people might be on to something. I finally read a description of Asperger's, and was surprised at how many of the symptoms felt familiar. Gradually I started to agree with my diagnosis. I realized that clinging to the idea that I was as normal as anyone wasn't making me any happier, that being an aspie is not my fault, and (this one took a long time to realize) anyway it isn't something to be the least bit ashamed of. I'm neurologically atypical, and I like it. I like that I don't care about gossip, or small talk, or American Idol. I like that I can focus on one task for hours at a time, and can go days at a stretch without socializing without regretting it one bit.
So, to sum up my life: I was born, a while ago. And now here I am. (That covers everything, I think.) I'm in my first semester back in college after years of severe depression/drinking/general indolence. Yes, I'm busy writing this when I should be studying. Fortunately, the class I should be studying for is programming, and even if I didn't want to read the chapter for class, I'd read it for enjoyment anyway.
I've rambled on long enough, I think. Thanks, all, for posting. This place is a great resource for bridging the divide between between us and NTs, for understanding more about what being an aspie means, for making connections that many of us couldn't in the offline world, and for a way to make an insomnia-filled night feel productive.
01 Feb 2011, 4:48 am
