Hello, can anyone help me out? Asperger's or not!??!

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Thank you in advance.

Months and months and months ago I came across the wikipedia article for Asperger's Syndrome. As I read the "syndromes" and such, I realized that this pretty much described who I am. After finishing the article, I sent it off to a close friend who said it pretty much describes myself and my strange behavior.

Recently, more things came to light about Autism on the news and how many people with autism may be undiagnosed. You'll come to learn I'm a heavy critic of the media, and I was a bit upset by this because I felt like I had Asperger's and that autism wasn't this horrible crippling disease. Yet I digress, I felt like I needed to get some sort of confirmation. I read more Asperger's literature, and I found this place. I've already learned a lot from reading the forums for a day.

Let me please introduce myself. My name is Mike, Mike Sty. You can call me whatever you want I'm a 17 year old high school student, entering my senior year in august. I have a driver's license, but no car, and I'm a terrible driver. I don't play any club sports - partially because school teams are too competitive for spots and insanely hardcore, and partially because i'm very uncoordinated. Computer tech is my area of expertise. It's my life, I guess. More about me later...

I've lived my whole life with people assuring me that there is something clinically wrong with me. They're probably right. Since I became a teenager I have been much more enlightened, and I grow inside each day. At some point in the past it occured to me that I must have some sort of social .. disorder? Bleh. I hate calling it a disorder. I really don't like to look at things that way. I have a hard time saying I'm disorderly.. disordered..???

When I was a little kid, I had some very bizzare interests - Vacuum cleaners, lawnmowers, and sprinklers. Transmissions of automobiles. It varied from thing to thing, but it was usually something mechanical. They were very focused, intense interests. Whenever I went anywhere with my parents, when I got past the initial shyness and moved to a childhood naievity, I would inquire about what kind of sprinklers, lawn mowers, and vacuums would have. Whenever I saw a car, I would jump up and look into the window to see what kind of transmission it had. Narrow, intense interests - these are probably some of my stronger cases towards a self-Diagnosis of Asperger's. When I read about Asperger's "little professors", bells went off - that's exactly what people told my 6 year old self what I was. I was a ranting and raving professor with seemingly infinite knowledge on garden equipment.

I still have some pretty intense interests, but I guess I did grow out of it a bit. I'd say though that my main interest is, obviously, computers. I still have a lot of odd quirks. I can get carried away reading Wikipedia articles for hours and hours on things that I like to learn about (no shock that's how I found the Asperger's article...). I am an avid baseball fan, and I am very much into statistics. Triple plays are my favorite. Oh, I almost forgot (as Tears for Fears comes on the headphones) - I am a HUGE fan of 80's music, specifically new-wave pop and music by good duos. My favorite is Wang Chung. No, I'm not gay

I have always had motor skills problems on fine and large scale levels. The worst is my handwriting. My reasoning was that I just think too fast for my hands to write or something like that, but I have ALWAYS taken harsh criticism for having atrocious, nearly illegible handwriting. Yet, from 2nd to 5th grade I had quite a bit of therapy. Years later, that did nothing. I just have trouble writing and doing a lot of things with my hands. Of all the things in comp tech I do, screwing screws is one of the hardest. Yeah.

I do enjoy sport, but I'm no athlete, and I'm exceptionally uncoordinated. Driving is a very difficult task. As is running. I don't run properly. I do things very unorthodox and with mixed results. The one thing I can do alright is throw like a man. That's about it. It's a dice-roll to see if I hit anything. I have had a sporadic tendency in the past to literally kick myself in the shins. Usually my sports follies are of my own clumsiness. Catching things is the hardest for me to do. I just can't do it. With a glove, it's actually possible, but very hard to do. I can not catch a football with ease. I can do it, but it's really hard.

I have very, very, VERY peculiar social problems. My social life is inconsistant, but not totally nonexistant. I really have few close friends. I have a large base of acquaintances. It's hard for me to understand certain cues unless I'm really focused on the other person. My relationships shift around with people - I will talk to people a little more and then I will easily lose touch with them. I can't keep friends, and I can't keep conversations. I'm a very bad conversation person.

Women. Hah. I had a girlfriend for three weeks once. I'm a generally unnattractive person. I'm not ugly (I'm actually told I'm not bad ), but I'm not attractive because of my social quirks and my responses to people. Still, a lot of girls tell me that I'm "one of their better guy friends." Whether they honestly mean this or are just trying to make me feel good, I have no clue.

When a girl says something to me, I'm expected to make all these inferences and I usually can't do it. I can't read between the lines with people at times, BUT I can sometimes see what direction things are headed in, in sort of an unrelated manner. This is where the lines really blur for me. I CAN understand other people when I sit and talk to them. Yet, if someone casually says one thing or another, I never have an appropriate reaction. Ever.

Man, there's so much I have to say but I really need to wrap up. There's just so many things I need to understand about myself. That's why I came here. I need just a bit of help. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, which is why I'm not telling my melodramatic family and thus can't seek psychiatric help. I'm pretty sure you guys can help?

I think later if I get any replies, maybe I'll post some more of the good things about me I'm a little down after writing all of that stuff that I've never written before, but what the hell.

Also, I've noticed a lot of people on the forums share a similar writing style as mine - long, verbose, and really drawn out.

If you have ANY QUESTIONS, please, PLEASE ask!! !

Do you think I have Asperger's Syndrome, or do I not?

Hey mikesty,

You sound EXACTLY like me (except for the interest in baseball, I hate following sports). It is uncanning how many people I have met in here that have the same issues as me.

Of course, none of us can tell you whether or not you have it. I voted strong case, but that is really an uninformed opinion. My life is going down the tubes the last few years, so I myself am seeking a diagnosis (I am 18, so just a bit older than yourself). You are of course always welcome here anyways.

IF you feel it is causing you difficulties you can't overcome, and could interfere with your happiness or future, I'd say screw your family, see someone about it. However, type up all of your concerns...and if you are able to, obtain a copy of your student records and see whether they support your position or not. Bring them with you if you see someone.

If it is just something in the back of your mind, and you don't see a point in getting diagnosed, it may not be worth upsetting your family. That is really a decision you are going to have to make.

PM me sometime if you want to chat. Welcome to Wrongplanet!

PS. Your writing is much more formal than a regular 17 year olds', much like myself. I'm involved in a civil lawsuit right now, and you should see some of the documents I have written! My family is utterly amazed at my writing style, and how I can put stuff into such clear words. I probably sound like I'm bragging, but it is one of my few good traits in my opinion, so yes, I'm going to keep on bragging If I had to guess, I would say you probably have this same skill.

I really appreciate the reply. Yes, writing is probably one of my strengths. Despite my atrocious handwriting, I was able to somehow score an ELEVEN out of TWELVE on the SAT writing essay!! ! That's very good, as I'm told. Since it's graded by two judges on a scale of six points, one of the two judges graded me as PERFECT. That's very satisfying

The one problem I have with my writing is an overuse of commas at times, and occasionally misusing a comma or two where a semicolon would be more appropriate. My vocabulary is seldom repetitive, but mainly because I do a quick repeat adjective scan That's the only reason I ever lose points on writings in school. I like to write a lot, it's probably my best form of communication.

Rolling back to the more important point, you're definitely correct - it's an issue I need to face. Yet, I think this is a sizeable first step. Coming here and asking about it. I ask for some diagnosis from you good folks because I figure you may or may not know how I feel the most. It's probably best to get confirmation from a qualified neurologist / psychologist / shrink / whatever - yet I'm not looking for some medical clearance. I don't want to carry around papers with me that say I'm a certified, diagnosed "Aspie" - I just want to know if people who also think they have Asperger's share the thoughts I do, and perhaps if I have it to, maybe it will offer some closure on some of the more crummy parts of my life.

Thank you again

Hey again Mike.

That is incredibly good for a writing test! I myself don't do so well on writing tests, UNLESS it happens to be something that I am interested in (in which case, like you, I write too much!)

My biggest problem is an overuse of brackets, and that extends into my speech. I have to always break and explain things in great detail, and people are like "ummm...yeah, i know". I've even been laughed at because I talk like that.

Just out of curiousity, how do you stim? Stimming is self-stimulatory behaviours (nothing sexual), such as jiggling your leg, chewing nails, etc. Mine are relatively severe compared to a lot of other people. I pace rapidly (have for over 10 years), rub my stomache so hard my elbows look like they are flapping (like wings), do weird things with my fingers, chew the edges of my tongue, grit my teeth, and more that are simply too embarrassing to name, even here . The reason I ask is that many (most?) people with AS stim much more frequently and much more noticeably than people without AS or Autism. Has anyone ever commented on this stuff to you? I myself have (finally) learned how to control these things in public, so I appear more normal.

Again, that is like me. What I just told you about my stims, had I met you in real life or was talking to you on the phone, I simply could not say these things out loud. Yet on here I can talk about them with relative ease. Writing is much easier for me, and lately, has become my primary form of communication (thank god for email and MSN!)

You are right, this is a good first step. We can all give you advice about how to approach a doctor, how to approach different things in your life, etc. I myself have learned quite a few things on this site. I would highly recommend the "Articles" section on the left of the screen.

As for my reply, no problem. It's what all of us and this website are here for

Well it isn't called "The Geek Syndrome" for no reason. I'd say you're a shoe for it, personally I've been diagnosed and done the tests and seen the article (I spend just as much if not more time on Wikipedia, usually looking at anything music related, history related or fantsy world related) but until I came here I never realised the full scope of the "Problem" I have. Oh and although I listen to mostly 80s music it's mostly alternative, and mostly Goth.

Interesting. I would say I probably don't have anything that severe, but there are probably a combination of reasons that lead to that. One is that if I do actually have Asperger's, it's not very severe. The other is that I notice how other people do certain things at times. I notice bizzare quirks that people do, and subconsciously eliminate them from my repetoire. At times, that leads to me being a very dull appearing person who doesn't move very often.

For example, I notice what people do idly and subconsciously with a TV remote. Ordinary folks. They flip it around, usually drop it a bunch, and rub it on their faces. They rest it under their nose. This, I have no idea why. Yet, I've noticed I don't really fool with the remote anymore. I'm not paranoid of it, I just don't like to rub it on me anymore. If I make such a notion, I correct myself.

Yet, I do have a tendency to shake my left leg INTENSELY to the point where it can be distracting for a few nearby students. I'll just be sitting, and while I am usually a very patient and passive person, I have activity outbursts at times. I just keep pumping my left leg. You've probably seen some people do it, or have done yourself - it's common behavior. No idea why I do it. Sometimes I pump both legs, but usually the left.

Speaking of activity outbursts (this one is REALLY wack) - sometimes I have some sort of bizzarre thought, and simply jump up from my chair and walk out of my room and down the hall to nowhere, before realizing that I just subconsciously sprinted out of my room to wherever the hell I am now. Usually this follows or precedes a very, very bright and insightful moment where I come up with some brilliant idea. It creeps me out.

I whistle and click my tounge a lot. I've gotten to be really good at whistling - but I do it sporadically at late hours without even realizing it. I get yelled at a lot because of it. Oh well, I can whistle "Sweet Georgia Brown", "Keep Feeling Fascination", and "Take On Me" with such perfection it makes people green with envy. Go figure.

Deus_ex_machina:

For sure Thanks for relating

Edit: While listening to Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel ( another good tune), I was twiddling with an 18inch wooden ruler (fine piece of lumber, I call her 18 inches of fury for a reason) and started to tap my arm furiously to the tune. I can't avoid moving or doing something to a good tune. I mean I can't dance very well, but blahrgh.

Oh, my bad - I was going to say a 'lil more about myself. To save us all the agony:

http://www.myspace.com/assimilat0r

Alright, but it'll cause a bit of agony too Meh, embarassing, but I'm .. me !

Holy crap, it's 5AM. Time to stop ranting and get ready to watch ze Yankees tomorrow.

I suspect that you are indeed a geek, like most of us are geeks. Have you made an appointment with a psychiatrist to get diagnozed or talk about it?

Welcome here

Because I am not a psychiatrist I can not tell you if you have Aspergers or not.
Best way to find out if you have AS or not, is to see a therapist I think

Good luck!

hi mike, welcome!
I'm new too

i did not read your entire post. i am sorry i was distracted. from what i read i think you sound like you have AS or some form of autism. welcome to wp.

Cool username ... any relation with the Kraftwerk song?

thanks. Yeah, I didn't know what to put in my username, the song started so I checked to see if it was available and that was it

dentaku backup delete!

Ah, the lonely night

Hmmmm?

(Sorry, kind of slow a lot of days)