I'm pretty sure I have Asperger's syndrome. While reading the wikipedia page, I realized it described my life. Anyway, I'm going to see a therapist on campus today. In an hour or so. Thankfully, this answers a lot of questions I've had about myself. Also, I'd like to add that I'm proud of possessing this syndrome. Most geniuses have OCD or other disorders. I'd like to add that I've been passed off as "normal" because my family is VERY f****d up, and because I've mostly "learnt" the ways. I'm not too bad with social interactions, however, my language impairments are apparent - I have to work on that.
Anxiety plays a big role in my life... I've had diarrhea during stressful situations (like exams). I have been learning to control it, and have been pretty successful. However, I learnt that my greatest impediment is my greatest source of motivation. Not caring for anything means I waste a lot of time. I'm trying to set up a routine of study etc. so I can stay focused on my life without stressing out about everything.
Bad hand-writing, physical clumsiness, etc. are all displayed by me at some point of time in my life. The thing is, I have been able to improve my handwriting, and actually received a few compliments on it! I believe I have the capacity to change, and have demonstrated this in several aspects of my life. : )
Talk about focusing on narrow subjects or interests.... I know everything about how LCD's work (just an example). There are so many random subjects like that. Also, I seem very interested in a subject/object and can lose all of my interest after "I figure it out" or have reached a sufficient skill or expertise in that area.
I think it takes me a lot more work to see the big picture. I need to read and re-read a question on a test to understand what it's asking of me.
I am having difficulty accepting that who I am is defined by a single syndrome. Anyway, I finally realized why I can't relate to anyone - the syndrome is pretty rare. Others don't have a problem relating to me since, I've always been a fan of studying social interactions. I managed to figure out "what is expected". I do feel emotions, but I think I've learned to force them. I can feel what I say.
Oh yeah, did I mention I have "excellent auditory and visual perception"?
Yes, my posture is f****d up. I've been working on it - there has been much improvement.
Anything that I've left out can be found on wikipedia : D (I do have a sense of humor! Big fan of meta-humor.)
EDIT: I have not slept all night. I was doing Physics and reading up on Asperger's. Then I was rethinking life. There might be some run-ons and grammatical mistakes in this post.
15 Feb 2011, 8:35 am
