Introduction (might be long)

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Hello, I've been browsing for a little while and decided to introduce myself. I'm a 21 yr old male, a Junior in college, and seeking a BA in Finance, I'm trying to become an investment analyst. I'm obsessed with reading philosophy in my free time. I've been playing classical piano for 14 years and was home-schooled in high-school. My only real socializing during that time was at church, which I have since then grew out of. I've never been able to relate to others very well, I have more dead philosopher friends in books than anyone alive...

I've had a few meltdowns in public before, usually when I disappoint someone (like an employer), I'm usually ok... until I try to speak... crying as a 21 year old male is extremely embarrassing. What else is embarrassing is getting caught walking on my tip-toes... I don't do it on purpose!! !

I can count the number of friends I've had on one hand... and only one of them I would consider a close friend. It's difficult to get to the point with an individual were I feel comfortable enough around them to speak. Even when I do get comfortable around someone, the things I desire to talk about (philosophical topics, social situations, issues with interacting with others, finance & career topics, etc.) usually make others feel awkward. Holding revolving conversations with peers in topics I'm not extremely familiar with usually ends with me saying something silly and looking away, sweat beading on my forehead.

Whenever I look at people during a conversation I have alot of difficulty figuring out how to look at them... do I stare at one eye? or try to blur my eyes and look at their whole face? lol... People sometimes have difficulty understanding me when I talk and usually describe me as intense. Nearly 80% of the time I'm in a group of three 'friends/acquaintances/peers ' I don't speak, while they play verbal volleyball.

Performing piano in front of hundreds of people, though nerve-racking, is amazing! It's hard to describe how moving it is expressing such passion through music in front of so many people. The most awkward thing, on the other hand, is, at the beginning of each semester, having to talk about myself for a few minutes in-front of all... those... eyes...

Anyway, I'm not sorry this is long, you're on a forum to read so... there you go.

(PS I think I'm an AS, notwithstanding either-way, I still feel on the wrong planet)
(PPS Your Aspie score: 161 of 200 Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200)
(PPPS it's -40F right now... so wish my car luck)

Welcome!

Welcome aboard the WP, Inkwaier.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I've found that with practice, I can avoid making those silly statements. But, it is hard at first, as adult NTs have years and years of experience that we don't have.

You look at their noses. they can't tell the difference.

Welcome to WP!